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    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #141

    Mar 10, 2010, 10:40 PM

    Very true Vanheart! Good advice
    kp2171's Avatar
    kp2171 Posts: 5,318, Reputation: 1612
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    #142

    Mar 10, 2010, 10:59 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by confused580 View Post
    A friend of mine told me to smoke a blunt at night. That will put me to sleep and I wont be thinking of anything, lol...Im not going to do that.
    Id advise against trying to use anything to medicate your way past a problem unless it given by medical advice.

    Sure... a glass of wine at night before bed sometimes is nice, but when its laced around an issue or problem, it really is the foundation for substance abuse. Its using a false coping skill to navigate unfriendly waters.

    I know you said you wouldn't do this. I just have to say I know more than one alcoholic who started by medicating through those tough moments.
    confused580's Avatar
    confused580 Posts: 110, Reputation: 4
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    #143

    Mar 12, 2010, 01:26 PM

    Yeah I definitely will not be masking it with substances

    I cleaned out my closet today, and I still have a pair of shoes of hers. Maybe I will wait a month before texting her as to what she wants me to do with her shoes
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #144

    Mar 12, 2010, 01:29 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by confused580 View Post
    yeah i definately will not be masking it with substances

    I cleaned out my closet today, and I still have a pair of shoes of hers. Maybe I will wait a month before texting her as to what she wants me to do with her shoes
    Don't do it! She doesn't want the shoes !
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #145

    Mar 12, 2010, 01:29 PM

    Don't even.
    They aren't your worry.
    Chuck 'em.
    CarrotTalker's Avatar
    CarrotTalker Posts: 392, Reputation: 189
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    #146

    Mar 12, 2010, 01:29 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by confused580 View Post
    yeah i definately will not be masking it with substances

    I cleaned out my closet today, and I still have a pair of shoes of hers. Maybe I will wait a month before texting her as to what she wants me to do with her shoes
    I think the garbage can wants them! :D
    confused580's Avatar
    confused580 Posts: 110, Reputation: 4
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    #147

    Mar 12, 2010, 01:35 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by CarrotTalker View Post
    I think the garbage can wants them! :D

    Lol
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #148

    Mar 12, 2010, 02:40 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by confused580 View Post
    Lol

    Yes!
    confused580's Avatar
    confused580 Posts: 110, Reputation: 4
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    #149

    Mar 12, 2010, 04:38 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by CarrotTalker View Post
    I think the garbage can wants them! :D
    I guess the reason I asked that question is because I broke up with her... its wasn't vice versa... I can see if she had broke up with me, I wouldntve cared about the shoes... I guess it's the fact that I ended it
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #150

    Mar 12, 2010, 08:47 PM

    Same difference.
    Unless you want to wear them around for a while.

    The point is your doing some cleaning. Emotional & otherwise.
    Good for you.

    Getting rid of stuff, you know.. there's lots more stuff. Its just takes time, patience & will.
    confused580's Avatar
    confused580 Posts: 110, Reputation: 4
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    #151

    Mar 15, 2010, 08:26 PM

    Thank you all for your wonderful advice. This question is an off the wall one... Im not sure if I should make it a regular post, but...

    If your g/f or b/f told you that he/she would break up with you if you got a tatoo(say a tattoo on your upper arm that just says your first initial of you name), how would that make you feel? How would you go about handling that?

    Just curious as to your opinions
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #152

    Mar 15, 2010, 08:28 PM

    How well do you like this girfriend? Please tell me it's not the ex!
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #153

    Mar 15, 2010, 08:37 PM

    Yeah, what's the root of this question?

    If that's the case, a silly one. That tattoo hasn't even happened.
    Sounds childish.

    These are superficial things. Id be more concerned about what's underneath.
    confused580's Avatar
    confused580 Posts: 110, Reputation: 4
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    #154

    Mar 15, 2010, 08:44 PM

    Well this was someone I went to dinner with, not in date mode, just had a great conversation w/o alcohol one, a conversation that I loved, and that is what she said, like way down the line if ever dated(and that was just a sample) and I got a tattoo while we were dating, she would break up...

    Ive know people in 7 or more year relationships that have broken up because of it.

    I guess my opinion is that if you want to break up or not date me then fine. I will not let my signicant other stop me from loving myself and my body. Not in conceited way... just saying..
    confused580's Avatar
    confused580 Posts: 110, Reputation: 4
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    #155

    Mar 15, 2010, 08:46 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Kitkat22 View Post
    How well do you like this girfriend? Please tell me it's not the ex!
    If I liked this girfriend a lot... and no, not the ex lol. I will tell you THAT story when I'm more in high spirits as I ran into her this weekend
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #156

    Mar 15, 2010, 08:48 PM

    Maybe you should consult Tommy Lee or Kat Von D.

    You are absolutely right. But I thought your significant other is gone.


    I would work on healing from this one before filling your head with this type of useless garbage.

    Don't look in the past.
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #157

    Mar 15, 2010, 08:57 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by confused580 View Post
    If i liked this girfriend a lot....and no, not the ex lol. I will tell you THAT story when im more in high spirits as I ran into her this weekend
    Please tell me you didn't talk to her. You are doing good don't let her sucker you back in. Also don't let anyone give you ultimatums! You do not need anyone telling you what to do about anything as dumb as a tattoo. Keep strong and don't jump out of the frying pan too soon:)
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #158

    Mar 15, 2010, 09:01 PM

    Yeah, are you fibbing to us 580?
    confused580's Avatar
    confused580 Posts: 110, Reputation: 4
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    #159

    Mar 16, 2010, 05:03 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by vanheart View Post
    Good one. Yes.

    Shes got major problems. You must be exhausted by now.

    Cut her out of your life. Save yourself.

    Its gonna be a road, but go total NC. No question. She will plead to you later for sure. Just ignore it.

    But the reality is that she doesnt give a rats a$$ about you. Only what gets her off.
    She's bad news.



    I know all of you are going to grill me! But I am going to be honest and tell you that she was over my aunts house on Saturday, I had a few drinks, so did she, and of course so did my aunt... We ended up having sex, and then again on Sunday. I feel dumb. She's back gone, like usual. Im back on NC all the way though..

    Vanheart, I shouldve read that stickie a million times
    CarrotTalker's Avatar
    CarrotTalker Posts: 392, Reputation: 189
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    #160

    Mar 16, 2010, 05:24 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by confused580 View Post
    ...and of course so did my aunt.....We ended up having sex ...
    When I first read this, I thought the aunt was involved with the sex part.
    To say the least I was :eek:

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