[Ziggurat2009]

*Forgive me for misspelling "gorgeous".

Hey everyone,

A week ago on myspace I received a letter from an amazingly attractive girl saying how she thinks I'm good looking and likes the way I describe myself and I'm "sweet". We exchange letters back and fourth 4 times each. She invites me to see her perform at an open mic at a local winery. She and I both don't drink, do drugs, or smoke. She said she values those same things in a guy and I'm "one of the few decent guys out there". So we keep writing and I tell her I'd love to see her perform.

I show up there a few minutes early. She comes in the door behind me and my jaw drops at how attractive she is, I'm not used to interacting with such a pretty girl! I know I keep restating it but she's quite literally what every man wants. A swimsuit model. I got sooo quiet and shy! It sucked, and I realized I was doing it and couldn't snap out of it. I said hi to her and she asked who I was... which was discouraging. I reminded her how we've been writing over myspace and she ASKED me to come see her perform. Her friend brought her along with her keyboard and equipment. She went to introduce me to her friend and guess what? I KNOW her friend already. We worked together for 2 years when we were in high school at a grocery store and I heard she used to like me. So THAT WAS AWKWARD. I was the third wheel that night and between being distracted by her friend and the loud electric guitar performer it made it impossible to talk and interact at all. I helped her carry her equipment out to her friends car and she gives me a fist bump and they leave. I texted her that night saying "You're really amazing. Your talent really impressed everyone there tonight. I have no doubt you will achieve your dreams." She replied "Thanks so much, I really appreciate that."

She told me via myspace she has never had a boyfriend because every guy she meets expects sex and when she doesn't give it to them they leave her. She has expressed how important her music is to her, she plans on making it a career and puts it first before everything else.

I waited 2 days and called her for the first time (she gave me her number via myspace). She picked up and I asked her how she was and what she was up to. I struggled to generate a conversation. And she wasn't very talkative either. So I said "Hey I was curious if you had some time to hang out this week." She said "Yeah sure, I'm busy on .... and .... and .... and tomorrow I have a festival to go to." So I didn't know what to say back to that other than "Ok, well when you have an evening off call me or text me ok?" She says OK and that's it.

Advice? Why am I struggling to connect or find common ground? I usually find it so easy to chat with people! Why does she seem to be uninterested now?

[artlady]

Very attractive women can be very lonely women because guys get so caught up in the beauty they are intimidated and often times just simply avoid the girl.

Try to think of her as a person first and then a beautiful talented woman and perhaps you will not feel so awkward.

Asking a girl to *hang out* is so lame.

If you want to go out on a date,be specific and say something like *Are you free Saturday night*?

That is polite and shows an interest and respect.

[puppydoggie]

Please don't get so caught up on this girls looks- relationships are just so so so much more then that. Imagine being locked in a plain white room with this girl for 24 hours, if your personality don't match you won't last very long or be very happy. She may be beautiful but is she right for you as a life partner

[Ziggurat2009]

Puppydggie, that is exactly why I posted. Why can't I seem to connect with her? She initiated talking to me but she definitely isn't demonstrating any interest in person or other wise (after meeting her). I'm not a materialistic guy if you see my older posts from my first breakup, I was in love with a girl for three years who was quite overweight. She broke my heart.

So anyway, how can I get this girl to open up to me? How can I initiate playful flirting?