[talaniman]

In any endeavor in life, you keep working until the job gets done. It's a challenge for sure.

Your goal is to move on through healing, and rebuilding, so get busy.

Everything in the way of those goals is but an obstacle to be overcome. Focus on the goal, as you deal with the obstacles.

Read the stickies, and see how others have dealt with the obstacles to get to the goal.

[donelly1]

Threads merged, and EDITED




Part of the reason I moved across the world was to be closer to her.

Lately Im having such a hard time coping with the situation. Its caught me by surprise and Im not sure what to do. I know I need to keep busy and be social to keep my mind off her but its hard because I'm in a new city where I don't know anyone.


I know the most important thing is to stay active but its hard for me to be active and social when I have been here a few weeks and don't know anyone. I have started running early every morning and stuff but I still feel messed up. I really want to move on and I will not contact her but Im always thinking about her. I even have dreams about her. I know I have to face my feelins and whatnot but at some point I really want to move on. I just want to forget about her and Im always trying to get her off my mind. What should I do to get through this?

She was my first long term relationship and I have really strong feelings for her. We were really happy together and always doing stuff and laughing. Even on the break up phonecall there was a lot of emotions. I was more surprised than anything and I felt helpless cause there is only so much I can do being on the other side of the world from her, but she was extremely sad and crying the whole time saying that there wasn't anyone else and said a few times that she doesn't want to break up. To me its bs though because a break is basically breaking up. A few days after we were on the break I sent her a short message saying how the break was strange and either we are together or we aren't. I said we should break up and that we shouldn't contact each other from that point on because I don't want to be in that limbo stage. Since then I haven't heard from her.

Im trying to change my mindset though. I admit that everyday I hope that I hear from her, but sometimes I feel like it would be better to just move on. Im just so surprised she can move on so quickly. We had a really close relationship and I never doubted that she didn't love me. She had a bazillion pics of me and always talked about our future, and she was really good friends with my mom too. Its frusturating because I didn't even have any warning signs before she wanted the break.

What's even more surpising is right before I defriended her from Facebook a couple days after we broke up she was flirting with this one guy that is her best friend at the school she is studying abroad at. She's been sleeping over at his place and stuff and now they are together. The messed up thing is not only did she get with him about a week after she broke up with me, but that he was engaged and broke up with his fiancé just 2 weeks ago before we broke up. So they are essentially both rebounding from what I can see. To make even less sense she has to leave for Japan in a few weeks for a whole year! Doesn't make any sense to me... I have no clue what she is thinking.

To me it seems like an obvious rebound but all I can do is give her space and keep up with the NC. Im glad that I deleted her from Facebook although she was mad about it and sent me angry messages to try and make me feel guilty for deleting her. It's a relief to be able to go on Facebook and not have to worry about stumbling on her status or pics of her. She has to come back here to Japan in only a few weeks. I bet that I will probably get some kind of call or something when she's back and away from her fling or whatever it is. Of course I love her but I don't know if we can be the same like before. I don't know if she is worth my time anymore after what she did. I kind of feel like I can't trust her now. I threw away everything that reminded me of her. Part of me feels like I just need to drop this all together and move on but of course she's always in my mind. That's what Im really struggling with right now

[amicon]

All your threads need merging for continuity.

Keep moving on-it doesn't matter what she's doing,who she's seeing or if she's rebounding.

Keep doing your thing now and let the past become the past.

[Sumitkumar7266]

It's really good buddy that you defriended her from Facebook and threw all the things which reminds about her.. Don't think about her that what she is doing and if she will come Japan she will contact you.These are the false hope.. May be you want to end it in a filmy style but in practical it's different.If she comes back also.Will you accept her?Ask yourself whether she is eligible for your love.If not then why to waste your time.. It will hurt you only.. She is enjoying her life and because of selfishness she broke up with you.Do you want to give the place in your heart for these people who are selfish and plays with the heart.. Don't do it.. I have gone through the same phase and for first 1 month I was shocked and I was also hoping that one day she will come but the day never came.. And if the day will come also I will not allow her to play again and I will move on.. Move on.. You will get lots of person to love and they will love you more than that gal.. NC and time will heal your pain and after some time you will not remember her.. Do lots of stuff,so that when you sleep in night you will be tired and will not think about her.. Make new friends,Hang out with them.. Don't check her profile in Facebook.. Some people are like this.. You just thank god that you are saved from one big trouble and got a new chance to start your life..

[talaniman]

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...he-568156.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...sh-510418.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...kup-78597.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...up-510427.html

Why do you keep starting new questions about the same story? Keep it in one place. Read these stickies and gain some insights into how we have all coped with the same thing you are going through.