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Wondergirl · Nov 9, 2013, 01:33 PM

Originally Posted by bouyakasha

Is this the same as breakup ? Or needing some time is just different ?

How long has it been since you two had any contact?

bouyakasha · Nov 9, 2013, 01:35 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

How long has it been since you two had any contact?

I had sent her a message to say OK baby you need some time ill give you that on thrusday and since then nothing

Wondergirl · Nov 9, 2013, 01:37 PM

Originally Posted by bouyakasha

I had sent her a message to say OK baby you need some time ill give you that on thrusday and since then nothing

Now stop messaging her. It's been only TWO days. Give her at least 2-3 weeks. Maybe a month. If she calls or messages you to "see how you are doing," just tell her you are fine and ask her to set a deadline and then please don't contact you again until then.

bouyakasha · Nov 9, 2013, 01:53 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Now stop messaging her. It's been only TWO days. Give her at least 2-3 weeks. Maybe a month. If she calls or messages you to "see how you are doing," just tell her you are fine and ask her to set a deadline and then please don't contact you again until then.

To be honest, if things were bad I would have dropped it but things were good! I mean frankly if she is wanted to take a step. Back of the relatioship and is undecided after a week

Wondergirl · Nov 9, 2013, 01:58 PM

Originally Posted by bouyakasha

To be honest, if things were bad I would have dropped it but things were good! I mean frankly if she is wanted to take a step. Back of the relatioship and is undecided after a week

If she contacts you to say how are you, tell her your deadline is x, and stick to it. Or if you want to be nice, negotiate with her to set a deadline, and then stick to it.

talaniman · Nov 9, 2013, 02:16 PM

Harshness warning.

No self respecting man gives a female one or two months to decide if she wants to be with them. She already made her decision and you look and feel foolish waiting to hear from her, and will feel worse tomorrow. You will play these mind games with yourself and ignore the facts staring you in the face. It wasn't as good to her as it was to YOU, so she nicely ended it.

No man would trade his dignity for such a game. So wrap your head around the fact you are on your own. Doesn't matter what's on her mind, or why, and foolish to speculate. You are hurt and shocked and I get that part, but don't be foolish. Leave her alone, you said you understood, and would respect her wishes. Keep your WORD!

bouyakasha · Nov 10, 2013, 01:55 AM

Don't know what to say to that ! Two weeks ago she brought this subject up and we worked through it and things were great and she had sent me a message once that you re amazing and although mentally you might be ready technically or practically at your age you wouldn't be and that's okay because we still need time but I am just someone who likes to think thing forward

joypulv · Nov 10, 2013, 03:15 AM

I still think I'm right. When you chased her down the street and told her about taking things to 'the next level' next year, she said she was relieved and that it meant a lot. But you just aren't eager enough. You are too methodical. Too plodding and boring about it all. Too interested in financial security. Just too too... BORING and unromantic.
But don't listen to me. I'm the only one here who thinks this.

bouyakasha · Nov 10, 2013, 04:03 AM

So she messaged me today asking about my day and what I was doing and she shared as well. I was polite and responsive with nothing more. She left it with :D

joypulv · Nov 10, 2013, 04:43 AM

That might be good news. It might also be just a short term connection while she adjusts to being alone. Basically there is no way to know what the future holds.

bouyakasha · Nov 11, 2013, 03:25 AM

I guess time will tell... the question is how much time is needed... and should I in a few days time give her an ultimatum? As in you've had a week to think and if you don't know by now, than that's it?

joypulv · Nov 11, 2013, 05:04 AM

Cold.

talaniman · Nov 11, 2013, 05:06 AM

If the agreement was for a month or two, why would you try to force a decision in a week? So much for keeping your word. Just can't wrap your head around just doing your thing and no matter what she does. Can you?

bouyakasha · Nov 11, 2013, 05:25 AM

We never gave it a time frame, all that was said was I just need a little time baby that's it... to which I had said what's that 1 month 2? Do you want to break-up ? If that's the case lets just do that. She was like no no, I just want to take some time to figure things out... I mean that's why I don't know

joypulv · Nov 11, 2013, 05:56 AM

IF you care about her, you don't deliver ultimatums.
LEAVE
HER
ALONE
IF she drags it out a month, THEN decide if you are being a fool or not.
You don't do it in advance!
Don't you get it? You are in danger of ruining this. She contacted you, for pity's sake. Let her miss you.
!