[Zxeoph]

My girlfriend and I started seeing each other about 5 months ago. She is the BOMB! I love her dearly! I've never met anybody so caring and nurturing and loving in my life! I want to spend the rest of my life with her and she does with me. I even proposed recently and she gave a quick and resounding "yes"! But recently I've had some old baggage of mine rearing its ugly head that I'm afraid will wreck our relationship if I'm not careful. Recently I noticed a lot of white residue in her g-string panties (she typically wears sexy g-strings all the time, including at work) after she took them off after getting home from work one day. A stain that's typically left when she and I have been fooling around and her panties are left on for while during foreplay….thus leaving a stain in them (sorry to be so graphic!). It's just natural that her bodily fluids get flowing when she's excited and it naturally leaves behind some residue at times…particularly if we have a lot foreplay before she takes her panties off. I know, TMI, just trying to explain things here. Anyway, in that we hadn't seen each other all day, seeing those stains in her panties triggered some old baggage for me as I have been cheated on more than once in my life... and this type of stain was an early sign of cheating that was later verified with at least one of the people who cheated on me. Anyway, I took note of it with her but I didn't make any accusations... I just mentioned that I noticed it. She quickly said it was probably because she was thinking of me earlier in the day while looking at a photo (fully clothed) of me and it made her all horney and that that probably caused it. My baggage rose to the surface because I didn't see how just thinking of me caused that much residue to be left behind... there was a lot there, similar to after we fool around (again, sorry to be so graphic here)... maybe I don't give myself enough credit as to how attracted she is to me. I don't know. Anyway, I'm not one to let things fester so I spoke with her about some of my old baggage and that I was having a hard time with this. She assured me there was no one else in her life and told me how much she loves me and would never do anything to jeopardize our relationship. She then said later it possibly happened because her body does that when she ovulates... and she was 12 days into her cycle so that made more sense... I just never noticed this happening before. But then again, I don't normally make it a point to look at her panties. I just happened to noice this one time. Anyway, she wasn't even mad at me for bringing it up. She was understanding of my old issues and reassured me how much she loved me. I felt like a total heal for even bringing it up, especially when she was so kind and understanding toward me! I should have just kept it to myself but I like to get things out in the open so nothing festers between us. I do honestly believe I have a real gem of women and our relationship is great! No signs of discontent on her part at all. I did some research and found that it's not uncommon for women to have these natural secretions throughout the month, particularly during ovulation. Albeit, she didn't initially mention this as a possible reason so I have to believe it was because she was thinking of me based on what she told me. So I've pretty much dropped it as I don't want to damage our relationship by bringing it up again. I really really really want to trust her and based on how she is with me when we're together and the love she professes for me, I'm 99.99999% sure she loves me deeply and would never hurt me... but because of this stupid baggage I have there's this .01% of doubt that keeps nagging at me from time to time. Just something in my gut that I'm sure is just old baggage haunting me. How do I overcome this? I don't want it to damage our relationship. Trust is the corner stone of any relationship so I'm just trying to find a way to make that .01% of doubt GO AWAY. Can someone please give me some suggestions on how to just totally let this go COMPLETELY! Please don't judge me. I'm just trying to work this through. How can I build more trust internally when everything else seems great with us? Thanks, 01% doubtful

[SaraHere]

Well it seems like she hasn't cheated on you has what she has said I am a women and sometimes that happens.. so its not unusual but she first said she was looking at your picture and that might have been the cause ? Okay that's a bit... weird she should have said the seconds answer in the first place and just because she likes to wear sexy underwear doesn't necessarily mean she's cheating. But be careful sometimes all the accusations can cause insecurity and insecurity can come to dought's and so on just believe in her if you trust her then you have no problem but if you keep thinking of it it can cause paranoia and you don't want that in a relationship put your mind at rest and move on with your relationship and stop looking back you got cheated on before so did everyone there ex's for a reason yes it does hurt but it makes you stronger at the end of the day don't worry about it just enjoy it and be happy stop dwelling on it good luck on the near future

[Zxeoph]

Thanks Sarah, I needed to hear that... I just needed someone to run this past because I'm too embarrassed to ask family or friends about it. And I don't want to ever bring it up again with her because I'm sure it would bother her if I kept making an issue of it. But I agree you, I thought her first quick answer (that looking at a picture of me probably did it) was a bit strange. But maybe she was just trying throw me a compliment without realizing it would come across as a bit in-credible. Unfortunately it's this first quick answer she gave me that's causing this 01% of doubt in me, not necessarily the actual stained panties. If her second explanation was the first thing she said, I honestly would have said "oh, okay", and thought little of it even though I'd been cheated on before... the 100% trust would be there a lot easier in that case because she professes so much love for me in both words and actions and I don't think she's ever lied to me before. So it's really just her first response that has given me that .01% pause. Anyway, nuff said. I guess trust is just a choice we have to make every day, every minute. But I'm still working this through and trying not to let it affect my relationship with her. I'm always work in progress on something! I REALLY want this work for us! Anyway, I appreciate your input. As you say, I need to just put this behind me and trust the love she professes and shows me. Besides, the more I think about this the more I tend to think it would be really really weird if indeed she was seeing someone else... I mean people who do that are usually unhappy in their relationship... it obviously doesn't make it okay that they cheat, it just is more understandable if they do. She doesn't seem unhappy at all with me so it would be very weird if she was seeing someone else. Anyway, thanks again for your input. All the best.

[Zxeoph]

Hi Sarah, I'm new to this sort of thing i.e. asking questions on the internet just to get some feedback. My longwinded response to your comment would not fit in the comments section next to your answer so I wrote it up in the answer section. Thanks again.

[ken007nielsen]

Here's what you do, each time those moronic thoughts pop into your head, start thinking of something else really fast because I'm sure you know it's your past that brings this to the table, and it doesent have anything to do with her..

The reason I say moronic, is because I have had them also. With absolutely no grounds thinking that way.
And yes they will destroy your what seems to be amazing relationship.. so get rid of them :)

(Each time you think about it, focus all your energy on getting them out just as fast)

I wish you the best of luck mate!