[brittrose]

Hello. I have been married for about 2 years now. My husband and I have known each other a long time and recently had our first child, he is now 9 months old. Since having him I have been trying to get back down to pre-pregnancy weight and I'm still about 20 pounds away. With all that being said, this is part of my problem. My husband is AWESOME with my struggle to lose weight, he compliments me and cheers me on. I know he wants me to lose the weight, and I'm trying... my problem is that because of my struggle to lose weight, I constantly in my head and occasionally to my husband, accuse him of thinking about other women, fantasizing about other women and looking at other women.. He always says the same thing, that he would never do that to me, that he loves me and thinks I am the most beautiful woman. I believe him, well, partially, I know he wouldn't do that to me, he is honest, faithful, caring, helpful, seriously an awesome man... this insecurity of mine, however, is getting the best of me and my ability to treat him with kindness, especially when another women who is even mildly more attractive than me walks by or comes on the TV... what, besides lose weight, do I need to do to get past this and save me from sabotaging my marriage??

[jillianleab]

You need to calm down! :) The more you accuse your hubby of looking at other women, etc, the more likely he is to START because you are causing stress and strain in your relationship. Now, that isn't supposed to stress you even more, but seriously, relax a little. You have a hubby who loves you and a precious child together, and once you accept that, you will feel more secure. Continue on your weight loss plan, and maybe make goals that you and hubby celebrate when you hit them. Lost 5 lbs? Get a nice bottle of wine and celebrate! You also need to really examine your relationship and see if there is something else bothering you and making you so insecure. It would be a shame to lose the weight and be in the same position. If there is another thing in your marriage or your life that is bothering you, identify it and make a change to it.

As far as him looking at women on TV... tell him what I tell my hubby; "If you meet her and she makes an indecent proposal - go for it! But I get the same liberty!"

[fix-what-you-broke]

You could loose all the weight in the world, and your hubby will still look, its human nature.
I think my man is gorgeous, he has everything I was looking for and more, but if I'm walking down the street, of course I will look at other people, it doesn't mean I am going to cheat on him, or that I love him any less... just as I'm sure it doesn't with your hubby... people look and it doesn't mean anything... the point is your hubby married YOU...

[talaniman]

Don't all females have those thought after a delivery? I think your husband knows what your going through and will be patient, but don't overload him. You really don't have to air those thought or feelings do you? Were you insecure before the baby? Give it times for the hormones to go back to normal, but after a time, and those feeling persist, and you feel worse see your doctor. I wouldn't panic as long as it causes no problems with you and your husband.