[Strike]

About 3 Years ago I met a girl who just blew me away. She was fun, smart, beautiful and had a great head on her shoulders. Naturally, I fell in love with her and we were engaged to be married very quickly. One of the things that really attracted me to her was that she really had no past. She had dated guys I had known and kind of had a reputation as being prude because she didn't sleep around. She had been with one guy she dated in high school for 4 years and at 24 years old, that was her history. Myself, that was never something I was looking for in a girl but it was great when I found it and it was really great that I was special enough that she wanted to be with me and share all these things with me and get married. She was a great girfriend, I could trust her, she would bend over backwards for me and was very loyal and I loved her very much. That being said, we had battled because I was more independent and liked to work a lot and play sports, etc. and she just wanted to be with me all the time. As flattering as that was, it was tough on our relationship and we fought about this one subject all the time and I eventually told her that she needed to see other people. I felt that if she couldn't compromise with this time issue that maybe I wasn't what she wanted and she should find what she wanted. She was devastated and tried desparately to make this relationship work and I didn't feel it was right.

So here's my issue. We broke up for three months and did not talk and I brushed her off a few times when she tried to call me, not to be a jerk, but I just felt this was the only way to move on. So, a month ago we got to talking and got back together. I realized how much I missed her and she talked of how much she missed me and we both decided we would compromise more and work it out. Things were great until I found out that a month after we broke up she got together with this guy that was 18 years older and recently divorced. It bothered me that she was seeing this guy but it really bothered me when I found out that she start sleeping with this guy and slept with him several times. I guess they broke things off about a week or two before we began talking again. I'm not one of these guys that gets jealous but I'm real bothered about this. I'm bothered because she portrayed herself to me like she would never just hookup with a guy so quick and she wouldn't just sleep with a guy for the sake of sleeping with him. When we discussed this, I told her I understood she was hurt and maybe she just got caught up in the moment but she insisted that would never get caught up in the moment. She swears that she only dated this guy to take up time and she thought I was out with other girls and it really hurt so she slept with this guy. But she tells me she never enjoyed one second of it it was just cause she was hurt. Granted, I don't deserve these details, but she did throw it out there and it really bothers me. I know this may sound stupid but, is that really possible? Can a girl go hookup with a guy multiple times because she is hurt and get no enjoyment out of it? I just don't buy it and it bothers me cause my feeling is, if you don't want to tell me anything, don't tell me. But if you are going to tell me something, don't BS me. Could use some feedback.

[Emland]

My guess she told you about her "hook up" to hurt you for the split up.

Yes, it is possible for women to have sex with someone and not enjoy it. She may have done it to try to forget you. Maybe she thought she could learn to love this new guy. He may have been a fantastic manipulator. There are lots of reasons.

The main thing now is you have to decide to either let it go and move on with her or decide that her behavior is unacceptable and completely break it off. Breaking up and getting back together over and over is only going to drive you both nutz.

[Fr_Chuck]

So what ? Everyone has past, you don't date anyone because of their past, even your past with her, what you date for is the future.

You have a choice, if you start to worry about anyone's past you will never be happy in any relationship