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terrifem · Dec 7, 2013, 12:42 PM

I met a guy after being on my own for 9 years, after a messy divorce. Anyway, we dated a while then he moved in with me and my kids. We got on great, was happy together. Things couldn't get any better. He was everything I dreamed of. We hardly ever argued. Then one day out of the blue he got a message on Facebook from some women saying she knew him, but he couldn't remember her, They got in touch then it turned out they dated when he was 18 she was 17. They chatted for a week he then asked for her phone number. Then they started texting. I asked him about her. He said it was an old friend they hadn't been in touch for 26 years.

He always text her when I wasn't about as he worked nights, so text her on his breaks. He come home from work one Friday night had a shower as normal got changed said he was going to pop to the late night shop to get some beer, but he never come back. He went to meet her, he come back on the Monday. We talked about why he done it. He was saying he hadn't been with her but I knew he had as he's never took off in the 4 years we were together for no reason. Anyway the following Friday same thing happened he went but this time he went straight from work wouldn't answer my calls or my text, He changed his number, while he was away.

He's been with her 2 months and they're due to get married next Saturday. The only reason I found out about them getting married is a friend found him on Facebook and his now wife to be has posted it all on Facebook and twitter. I can honestly say we never rowed and there was no reason for him to leave. It was only when she popped up. All I want to know is how can some one get married to someone they don't know? He spoke to her for a week, met her once, then went back, and moved in with her.

Now to get wedding. Will it honestly last? He hasn't had no contact with me since he said bye to me the day he left for work. I'm not looking to take him back but can't get why he done this. We were together 4 years more happy than anything.

Homegirl 50 · Dec 7, 2013, 01:07 PM

Maybe she was the "love of his life" maybe he is going through some kind of mid life thing, maybe he was not as happy as you thought. Maybe this was not their first contact. Who knows. It may or may not last, but if he changes his mind, I would not take him back.

terrifem · Dec 7, 2013, 03:07 PM

She did say that she's never stopped thinking of him even when she was married to her first husband but he did say to her that he could not remember her, but as the days went on they were texin and just can't get my head around how he moved in with her after a few days of texing,I asked if he was going to meet her he said no he was very happy with me and the job he had,like I said before we were happy together, I'm not going to take him back just wish he had said he was leaving instead of going to work and never coming back thank you for your reply any way :o)

Homegirl 50 · Dec 7, 2013, 03:12 PM

I'm sorry this happened to you and I wish you the well.

talaniman · Dec 7, 2013, 05:32 PM

I think he has been lying for a lot longer than 2 month. Sorry you had to go through this.

terrifem · Dec 8, 2013, 04:10 AM

Thanks for the replys but I can honestly say she got in touch out of the blue because I could get on his Facebook and there was no messages from her until the one he showed me her asking him ,things about where he lived in London when he was younger then it all went from there, thanks again for your input :o)

Cat1864 · Dec 8, 2013, 05:41 AM

It sounds like he is attempting to regain his lost youth. She reminds him of the days when he was young and didn't have a lifetime of responsibilities and living behind him. Call it a mid-life crisis.

While it may have seemed he was happy and content in the present with you, part of him has probably been feeling his age and looking at the future with trepidation. She just came along at a time when he was vulnerable.

joypulv · Dec 8, 2013, 06:09 AM

Did she have children? Did he have children? He's in his mid 40s? Maybe that has something to do with it. I'm not sure how we could possibly begin to guess. This happens; all sorts of quick meetings result in whirlwind romance and marriage. I go with the 'lost youth' theory too. Maybe they will be happy ever after, maybe they won't.

terrifem · Dec 8, 2013, 02:20 PM

Thank you all for the replys yes he is 45 next Sunday so looking at it from the age point maybe your right he might be trying to live his youth again. And yes she has 4 children none are his when they were texin he asked her if she was with any one now and had children on witch she said yes I got children but none are yours.. his got children from other partners but he don't see the children. Just all abit of a shock the way its all happened with them both so fast..

Homegirl 50 · Dec 8, 2013, 03:12 PM

Well the fact that he has children and does not see any of them speaks volumes. 4 years is a while to date, Did you two speak of a future aside from dating? How long did he live with you.

terrifem · Dec 8, 2013, 03:38 PM

We were engaged , he never lived near me when we met he use to come down weekends and stay then go home due to working, we were in contact all the time when he wasn't here, we were dateing about 8 months he then relocated got a job and moved in, She lives in the same part of London where he was from so his gone back to where he started,

joypulv · Dec 9, 2013, 05:28 AM

I wouldn't even want to be with a man who never sees his children. He sounds fickle and self absorbed.