[sleepless night]

We have only been married 9 months and we have sex like 2 times a month. I feel like every time we even do it is me making him... we don't full around before he doesn't even kiss me during. He says that its because he is scared of us having a baby. Even though I have use every kind of protection I even stop talking about kids. I don't want them right now nut he knows that it is soooo important to me to be a mom, and he says he wants them. I don't know what to do anymore because every time I talk about it I cry and we get into a huge fight a horrible things are said and its just not worth it. But I think of divorce sometimes because if it is this bad now what will it be in 5 years and I would never want to be unfaithful or have him cheat on me but there has to be more to this then him just being scared! It seems like we have never been on the same sex page two years ago he wanted it all the time and I didn't. What should I do? He would never go to talk to anyone he gets mad when I am out with my friends he either thinks that I tell them or I am flirting because those are some of the hurtful things that are said during the fight. I just sick of fighting so much isn't the first year suppose to be like the honeymoon, well I guest mine is we hardly had sex then to.

[Clough]

Hi, sleepless night!

Even though he isn't willing to speak with someone about the problems in your marriage, does that mean that you can't go by yourself and speak with someone?

If you're able to go speak with someone on your own, I would suggest doing that. Someone trained and skilled at giving people advice concerning marriage can work wonders.

I can remember years ago when I was married and my wife and I were having problems, that she wanted the two of us to go to counseling together. Me, being the macho man that I was, refused to go because as far as I was concerned, we could work things out on our own.

After a number of months, I did relent to go. I found that I enjoyed the experience of counseling eventually because I was discovering so many things about myself that I didn't realize and also coping strategies to help me with problems that I was having with myself and also in our relationship.

Perhaps, if you go on your own, your husband might eventually agree to go with you, or even on his own and then he might have a similar experience that could lead to improvement in your marriage.

I wish for you only the best!

Hopefully, others will also be along to address your question.

Thanks!

[Choux]

Sleepless,

Your husband doesn't trust you, and worse, he is pulling away from you because of your emotional blackmail of crying and being childish when you discuss personal matters with him. You are destroying your marriage.

Aspects of a marriage are well discussed over dinner out in a restaurant(Mickey D's of OK, doesn't have to be expensive). No crying, yelling, tantrums or other overly emotional outbursts.

I would suggest you get some therapy asap so you can evaluate yourself and your marriage.

Bet wishes going forward, :)