[maslyn]

I was with my ex for 16 years and we had 5 kids together,He was very abusive, physically and emotionally and on drugs. We constantly argued over little things,he was jealous and I was never allowed out with my friends. Basically he would lock me up he even had a problem if I helped my family out. He is a great dad and provider but the costant arguing even in front of the children just drove me not to love him. I gave him the ultimatum to give up drugs or US, he never gave it up and every time we argued I would leave but end up going back after 3 days.So just last year I started going online and met a guy on there, we started talking and texting,He was in a bad relationship as well, after 2 weeks of talking he told me he loved me at first I was like OK that's nice but as time went on I started to feel the same way well I thought I did.So I moved out and stayed with my mum which I did quite often because of our arguing and told my ex that I needed time to think and during this process he had given up the drugs but I didn't believe that he had, he said he would have a drug test to prove to me that he had, but being nieve I didn't listen.While I had moved out I went to see this guy that I had been talking to, instantly my life had changed he asked me to marry him, move to where he was. So I went back home and told my ex that I wanted to move on and I had found someone else and he tried everything for me to stay, it was like I had both of them in my ear telling me which way to go.Deep down I didn't want to leave my ex but I wanted a better life not just for me but for my kids, and going to a new place and a new guy I thought it was the right thing to do.I ended up marrying this new guy and have been married for 3 months, Me and my ex have been texting each other and he has told me that he still loves me and he wants me and our family back and he has been clean from drugs since I left.I want to go back but I also want to do my wifely duties and try and make my marriage work but my heart isn't in it, Its with my ex and has always been there. My husband is an amazing loving caring guy who welcomed my kids into his life as if they were his own, before we married he told me he was in insolvency and I didn't know what that meant,then we got married and I asked him about it and he told me the full extent of his insolvency I was shocked, so for the past 3 months we have been using my credit cards to make ends meet and with kids I needed to support them some how now I'm in debt.He hasn't contributed to the household expenses for the past month, I have been paying for everything. He didn't have a job but now he does and still he hasn't contributed to anything, and you know the dumb thing, everything is under my name. So now I'm thinking ill be better off going back home with my ex at least he helped pay for things we split things down the middle. And yes I have asked hubby to pay for things but he always has some excuse.