[wxy228]

I have absolutely no problem with porn. Growing up, I watched it daily. So I used to love porn. But when I'm with someone, I try to give them my all. I know most of us are going to have sexual thoughts about someone else other than our significant other and we all masturbate, but when I'm in a relationship with someone I feel like we should both try to limit those activities. You know, self-control type thing. I can separate love and sex, just like a man can, so I understand the whole "I like looking thing." However, I am still absolutely against my significant other watching porn. I don't care if he masturbates while fantasizing about another chick, but I feel like porn is just one more uneccessary step above that. You do not HAVE to look at porn. You can control yourself.

Because, let's be honest here, when you watch porn, you ARE fantasizing about being with that person on the screen. It's a lot more real than "watching" something in your head because there is an actual physical girl you are watching. No, you can't touch her, but you are watching AND imagining vs. Just imagining(like when you masturbate without porn). I understand porn is awesome: naked chicks, naked dudes just having great sex doing sexy things. But why can't you just watch porn w/your significant other rather than alone? And when you do masturbate, why do you have to watch porn? Answer- you don't. You just WANT to. Also, I do believe that porn sets unrealistic expectations of what a woman should look like. Those girls don't even look the same in real life! Everyone looks better on camera when they position you/the camera so you look your best. And don't give me that crap about how men have 2 views- one of you then one of other women. That is the worst excuse/justification I have ever heard: "Don't worry babe I love you I just want to watch these 2 girls get rammed in the a**. It has nothing to do with you, it's just these girls are so hot." Sorry, I just feel like that's not OK. Fantasize it in your head, but don't watch it.

My question is- would any guy honestly give up porn for his wife or girlfriend if it bothered her and really hurt her feelings? Or would he just continue to watch but find a way to hide it?

*Note: this does not have anything to do with other people's relationships. I understand some people in relationships watch porn separate/together/whatever. Everyone has different opinions/ideas about it.

[smoothy]

No I won't... because I don't ask them to give up chick flicks, romance novels or girl movies.

And YES it IS the same thing.

If she is that messed up that her feelings are hurt over a picture, magazine or movie... then she has bigger issues that she needs to be dealing with.

Personally she would never have made it far enough to become a wife candidate... I would have gotten rid of her.

Lifes hard enough without dealing with a significant other that has serious personal issues with inanimate things.

Its really no different than them demanding you only work for someone that has NO female employees or female customers because heaven forbid another female cross your field of vision.

And it all boils down to this... her rights END where his begin... and that applies vice-versa as well.

Don't try to tell someone else what to do unless you are completely willing to do what they tell you to do as well.

There would be a lot less divorce if more people practiced THAT simple rule.

[JudyKayTee]

Because, let's be honest here, when you watch porn, you ARE fantasizing about being with that person on the screen. It's a lot more real than "watching" something in your head because there is an actual physical girl you are watching. No, you can't touch her, but you are watching AND imagining vs. Just imagining(like when you masturbate without porn). .

My answer - as a woman - I wouldn't DREAM of asking my partner to "give up porn" for me. Why would I?

I don't buy your "honest" argument that when people watch porn they fantasize about being with that person. Those are your thoughts, not mine.

[Cat1864]

Frankly your question does have 'everything' to do with other people's relationships. It is their relationships you are asking about when you pose the question: Are there any guys who would give up porn for their wives/gfs? You are asking point blank what people (men, in particular) would do in their relationships.

As a girlfriend and, for over twenty-five years, wife, I wouldn't ask.

Remember that porn isn't just videos. It has existed for millennia in a variety of forms ranging from pictures painted on 'paper' or walls to words and statues. Can one person ask another to totally ignore every form of porn or erotica there is?

You seem to equate videos with immediate masturbation. What if your partner doesn't masturbate while watching 'porn' but waits until later? What if your partner is more into magazines or stories? How much control do you think one partner should have of another partner's thoughts?

[Fr_Chuck]

It is totally unfair to ask, and any women ( or man) in a relationship should love their partner enough and understand it is not always about them and their partners will have time to dream and imagine many things.

To ask your partner to give up something they do, is not right, fair or should be considered.

A partner that asks that, frankly gets what they deserve, normally to be lied to, and end up fighting with the person does not. Or at worst they end up finding a new partner when that one leaves.

[TayTay1986]

LMAO! You know what? Im soooo sick and sick and sick of men using porn as a excuse. They don't need it. They want it. Any real man that loves his wife or girlfriend, will give it up to save their relationship. Guys can't even give a real GOOD reason why they do it. Its only for their satisfaction. They not thinking about their wife or girlfriend while watching porn, in that case, why don't they just wake their wife up or wait until she gets off work? My point exactly.. They don't care, they just want to look at nasty, trashless, animals. These porn girls are the worst things that's walking the earth. No women should be little her body to please men. Lol, men think we suppose to be OK with this.. Like hell we do. What if the shoe was on the other foot, they would call us all kind of names. I hope porn is not worth lossing the person your in a relationship with. If so, you're a weak minded individual..! Its sad how satan got some of these men mind and playing tricks on them. There stupid for letting a porn video come in between what they really have at home. Get it together men, your being fooled, lol

[Dican212]

Whether a guy is willing to give up porn or not is up to him to decide, if he feels that he wants to prove his love my quitting porn and focusing on the relationship, then you as the partner will have to accommodate for it. Since porn not only allows men to fantasize about sex but it also helps them to forms of stress in doing so, and if you want him to quit then you need to be ready to help make up for it. Otherwise he would turn back to it, just asking to him won't make him quit, it could make him just hide it from you.
Even if its seems unfair to women in relationships they shouldn't be asked to stop doing something they been doing for practically all their lives... what if your boyfriend said to you, 'you're not allowed to go shopping', 'your not allowed talk to your best friend'? Would you listen?

[CravenMorhead]

My wife does it for me. I tied her to the bed and plowed her like winter street. I did that again a few times afterwards too. This morning I wanked to porn. We were also using toys. Does that fall into your category of the man just not doing it for the woman?

I just want to rant and rave, and I probably will, about how wrong you are. I probably will. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. I honestly heard it best said, "Modern media has created the most sexually frustrated generation yet. All women are looking for their Prince Charming and all men are looking for their porn stars."

Ignorance on the other hand, not quite that acceptable. I see what is happening here. You're equating how a woman feels and reacts with how a man does. This is completely wrong. Apples and oranges love.

Read a romance novel and you get hot and bothered by the romance and the heaving bosom, and feelings, and the emotions, and the tender way he... well you get the picture. You probably have. How does a man get hot a bothered. Boobs. Well bottoms too depending. Honestly. It is a completely different arousal cycle.

Next when we are choking the chicken, we tend to use a seed of fantasy to get it going. There is nothing sexy about the thought of your hand going up and down your own shaft. But using that thought and arousal does. Would we want to have sex with them? Probably not. I don't want a thin silicone woman. Nor a midget. Nor a Oriential woman (no offense not my kink). Nor a Shemale. Nor Angelia Jolie dressed in Nazi BSDM gear. Well.. that last one... No. I want to have sex with my wife. Exclusively. Doesn't mean I don't like watching porn, nor her watchign it with me. Honestly it was a little weird.

It is scratching an itch for us. There isn't really anything else for it. It is like a bubble bath or however you relax.

Now you told me that you're both in school. Holding down jobs. You're young. You will learn that most men look at porn even when they say they don't. All men masturbate to porn, even if they say they don't. You can either accept it or life a sexually frustrated life jumping from failed relationship to failed relationship. I challenge you to ask your boyfriend about porn. Watch him squirm.

This is about the end of the energy I have to waste on this. Expand your mind. It works best when opened. Kind of like a parachute.

[TayTay1986]

[QUOTE=CravenMorhead;3322520]My wife does it for me. I tied her to the bed and plowed her like winter street. I did that again a few times aIfterwards too. This morning I wanked to porn. We were also using toys. Does that fall into your category of the man just not doing it for the woman?

I just want to rant and rave, and I probably will, about how wrong you are. I probably will. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. I honestly heard it best said, "Modern media has created the most sexually frustrated generation yet. All women are looking for their Prince Charming and all men are looking for their porn stars."

Ignorance on the other hand, not quite that acceptable. I see what is happening here. You're equating how a woman feels and reacts with how a man does. This is completely wrong. Apples and oranges love.

Read a romance novel and you get hot and bothered by the romance and the heaving bosom, and feelings, and the emotions, and the tender way he... well you get the picture. You probably have. How does a man get hot a bothered. Boobs. Well bottoms too depending. Honestly. It is a completely different arousal cycle.

Next when we are choking the chicken, we tend to use a seed of fantasy to get it going. There is nothing sexy about the thought of your hand going up and down your own shaft. But using that thought and arousal does. Would we want to have sex with them? Probably not. I don't want a thin silicone woman. Nor a midget. Nor a Oriential woman (no offense not my kink). Nor a Shemale. Nor Angelia Jolie dressed in Nazi BSDM gear. Well.. that last one... No. I want to have sex with my wife. Exclusively. Doesn't mean I don't like watching porn, nor her watchign it with me. Honestly it was a little weird.

It is scratching an itch for us. There isn't really anything else for it. It is like a bubble bath or however you relax.

Now you told me that you're both in school. Holding down jobs. You're young. You will learn that most men look at porn even when they say they don't. All men masturbate to porn, even if they say they don't. You can either accept it or life a sexually frustrated life jumping from failed relationship to failed relationship. I challenge you to ask your boyfriend about porn. Watch him squirm.

This is about the end of the energy I have to waste on this. Expand your mind. It works best when opened. Kind of like a parachute.[/QUOTE


I have one question for you. Let's say you have a in house porn star , which would be your wife. She,will do just about everything in bed for you right. She also wants sex just as much as you do, she's very attractive in whatever she wear for you. Now, what would be a REAL reason you have to look at porn if you have a porn star at home?


Im not talking about the guys that's single and does it, that's understandable, even the men that have a girlfriend and a wife and their wife doesn't want sex a lot. Those are the guys I understand.

[Synnen]

I have an alternate question for you:

Let's say you have a guy that does EVERYTHING for you. Brings you jewelry and flowers and sweet little gifts. He does dishes and laundry and dusts and vacuums. He's handy with tools and understands cars and computers. He writes you love notes and mails you cards and sends flowers to work and calls just to hear your voice.

Let's just say you HAVE that.

Are you willing to give up chick flicks for the rest of your life for that? Are you willing to never EVER watch another romantic comedy, because well... you have the hero of every romantic comedy at home waiting for you. And no more romance novels---and that freaking INCLUDES the stupid Twilight books and books like them. No more books where the love story is even as much as 1/3 of the plot. You are allowed to read non-fiction and hard core sci-fi for your stories going forward.

Would you give that up for a GUY? Would you give up all of that stuff that stimulates your imagination just because a guy asked you to, and well... he's a pretty awesome guy?

The hell you would. Don't even TRY to say you would, because I totally wouldn't buy it.

THAT is what porn is to guys. It's a little seed of imagination. It has NOTHING to do with his relationship, or sexual urges or anything else that you're insinuating it holds over a relationship. It's for entertainment purposes only. Just like you don't expect your boyfriend to be Peter Parker saving the world and giving sexy upside down kisses, but GAWD that was hot to watch, guys don't expect you to be (am I dating myself here?) Traci Lourdes. Or Jenna Jamison.

The ONLY women I have EVER met that have an issue with their man watching porn---EVERY ONE of them had an insecurity streak a mile wide.

So... how confident are you? The more confident you are, the less porn matters.

[smoothy]

It doesn't matter ALL men are ENTITLED to it due to the nature they are ADULTS and not the slave of someone with personal problems they aren't willing to deal with. (and conversely all adult women reversing those roles)

And just an FYI... there is nothing less attractive than a woman that blames every self perceived flaw on someone else.

I'd rather have an average looking woman who is well adjusted than a beauty Queen with more problems than a $100 used car.

And I have actually made that choice numerous times over the decades... I got married to a good looking woman who didn't have problems she blamed on others... and I did that over 20 years ago... She's in her late 40's now and I'd never trade her in on a 20 something drama Queen...

[TayTay1986]

I have an alternate question for you:

Let's say you have a guy that do.es EVERYTHING for you. Brings you jewelry and flowers and sweet little gifts. He does dishes and laundry and dusts and vacuums. He's handy with tools and understands cars and computers. He writes you love notes and mails you cards and sends flowers to work and calls just to hear your voice.

Let's just say you HAVE that.

Are you willing to give up chick flicks for the rest of your life for that? Are you willing to never EVER watch another romantic comedy, because well...you have the hero of every romantic comedy at home waiting for you. And no more romance novels---and that freaking INCLUDES the stupid Twilight books and books like them. No more books where the love story is even as much as 1/3 of the plot. You are allowed to read non-fiction and hard core sci-fi for your stories going forward.

Would you give that up for a GUY? Would you give up all of that stuff that stimulates your imagination just because a guy asked you to, and well...he's a pretty awesome guy?

The hell you would. Don't even TRY to say you would, because I totally wouldn't buy it.

THAT is what porn is to guys. It's a little seed of imagination. It has NOTHING to do with his relationship, or sexual urges or anything else that you're insinuating it holds over a relationship. It's for entertainment purposes only. Just like you don't expect your boyfriend to be Peter Parker saving the world and giving sexy upside down kisses, but GAWD that was hot to watch, guys don't expect you to be (am I dating myself here?) Traci Lourdes. Or Jenna Jamison.

The ONLY women I have EVER met that have an issue with their man watching porn---EVERY ONE of them had an insecurity streak a mile wide.

So....how confident are you? The more confident you are, the less porn matters.

I see what your saying.. I personally feel that there really no need for porn. I mean if your watching something you fantasize about, why don't you make that fantasy a reality? I mean, people waste years fantasizing about something they would like to do, but never do it. How about you make it happen and find out, that is wasn't what you thought if would be the whole time. Some people make it a reality, and mess up their homes. Its so many people that break up from their spouse watching porn, now,if it was something good to do, why is it breaking up homes?? Porn can lead people to cheat, because they are looking for what they can't get at home. Now, is porn REALLY that serious to some guys?

[TayTay1986]

It doesn't matter ALL men are ENTITLED to it due to the nature they are ADULTS and not the slave of someone with personal problems they aren't willing to deal with. (and conversely all adult women reversing those roles)

And just an FYI....there is nothing less attractive than a woman that blames every self perceived flaw on someone else.

I'd rather have an average looking woman who is well adjusted than a beauty Queen with more problems than a $100 used car.

And I have actually made that choice numerous times over the decades....I got married to a good looking woman who didn't have problems she blamed on others....and I did that over 20 years ago...She's in her late 40's now and I'd never trade her in on a 20 something drama Queen.....

Well, Im am VERY BEAUTIFUL!! A drama queen is never me. I have a opinion just like you. To me porn is just away for men and women to look at other naked people and get off. People watch porn, and don't even realize they could be watching someone that's dead. They watching someone that they wouldn't be able to get alone with in real life. So I'm leaving it on that note.

[greentree30]

I watch porn occasionally and I'm a married female. I have never actually fantasized about being with anyone in the porno. It just arouses me while I watch it. It helps facilitate the masturbation process. That's it. You're thinking porn is much more than it really is!

If this is how you act towards guys, you're going to miss out on a great relationship. Or he's going to end up having to lie to you because you're so psycho about porn. And eventually he won't put up with your insecurities anymore.

99% of guys watch it, and plenty of women too. Loving, wonderful, amazing, loyal men watch it. They can have the hottest woman as a wife who is amazing in bed and fulfills every fantasy and they are 100% satisfied. But they still occasionally masturbate to porn. They don't watch porn because they aren't satisfied with what they have. They just get horny occasionally and if you aren't available they want to take care of that urge real quick. Watching naked people have sex causes an automatic arousal response and you jack off and you're done! It doesn't mean a damn thing to them.

Have you ever watched it? And I don't mean just look at it closed minded and think eww gross or ew they are such sluts! Like actually look for something you might like. Maybe it has a story to it. Or whatever gets you aroused. Well if you are ever open to watching, notice if you end up fantasizing about anybody you're watching. I highly doubt it. It just gets you aroused and helps you orgasm. That's it.

[smoothy]

Well, Im am VERY BEAUTIFUL!!! A drama queen is never me. I have a opinion just like you. To me porn is just away for men and women to look at other naked people and get off. People watch porn, and don't even realize they could be watching someone that's dead. They watching someone that they wouldn't be able to get alone with in real life. So im leaving it on that note.

DO you watch Brad Pitt movies... George Cloney movies... John Statham movies... etc.. (pick your favorite male actor)..

If you say you do but feel absolutely nothing then you are telling a lie or in denial of the reality.

Then by your own definition you should never have to watch TV.. or read a woman's novel ever again for the rest of your life. Otherwise you are being a hypocrite.

And your young age reflects very heavily in this... as well as your very limited real life experience. This "I should be enough" mindset is more like a teenagers than a mature adult. For a number of reasons the first of which is it makes the other person feel suffocated... and that gets worse.. not better with time until that other person developes a resentment and leaves. As a teen it might have been cute... as an adult its annoying as all hell. At least to most people. Most people get over that before they hit their mid 20's because they have had enough people walk out on them by then.

[Synnen]

I see what your saying....! I personally feel that there really no need for porn. I mean if your watching something you fantasize about, why don't you make that fantasy a reality? I mean, people waste years fantasizing about something they would like to do, but never do it. How about you make it happen and find out, that is wasn't what you thought if would be the whole time. Some people make it a reality, and mess up their homes. Its so many people that break up from their spouse watching porn, now,if it was something good to do, why is it breaking up homes??? Porn can lead people to cheat, because they are looking for what they can't get at home. Now, is porn REALLY that serious to some guys?

Some people break up marriages because they drink too much--is ALCOHOL to blame for that?

Others break up their marriage because they can't stay away from the casino--is GAMBLING to blame?

Still others spend their way into problems with their marriage--is SHOPPING to blame?

Blaming porn for lack of self control is like blaming a spoon because you're fat.

[CravenMorhead]

I have one question for you. Let's say you have a in house porn star , which would be your wife. She,will do just about everything in bed for you right. She also wants sex just as much as you do, she's very attractive in whatever she wear for you. Now, what would be a REAL reason you have to look at porn if you have a porn star at home?

Because my wife is in school and working? Because she's not just a spooge receptical? And relationships just aren't about sex?

Mostly because when we masturbate it is all about us. Goodness knows I like to have sex with my wife. I think she's gorgeous. I love the way... You get the idea. The thing is with masturbation is that it is all about me. I don't need to worry about anything else. Like if she's in the mood. Is she tired? Is she wet enough? Do I need the restraints? Is the vibrator charged? Is my clean? Do I smell? Does she smell? Do I have condoms? etc. ad naesum.

For men it is all about the personal experience. The Alone time. Where none of the above matter and you can just take care of business. Making love is awesome, but masturbation is when you can do it all on your own and by yourself.

So having a porn star wife, and most porn stars have more silicone in them than my computer and that is a HUGE turn off for me, is all fine and good, but if I have to wake up two hours before her and I am a little horny, i.e. this past Monday, I turn on the pron and rub one off. Sometimes it is a little awkward because I feel like our dog is judging me.

Im not talking about the guys that's single and does it, that's understandable, even the men that have a gf and a wife and their wife doesn't want sex alot. Those are the guys I understand.

I have a question for you. Did you ask your boyfriend if he watches porn? He is going to say no, but what was his reaction?

Yourself righteous rant is amusing but short sighted. This will come with experience.

[CravenMorhead]

I see what your saying....! I personally feel that there really no need for porn. I mean if your watching something you fantasize about, why don't you make that fantasy a reality? I mean, people waste years fantasizing about something they would like to do, but never do it. How about you make it happen and find out, that is wasn't what you thought if would be the whole time.

Because my wife won't take it up the bum. My wife isn't a midget, nor asian, nor black, nor east indian, nor 60+, nor barely legal, nor an anthropomorphic wolf furry, nor an innocent looking 20 something taking on three big black... I hope you get the idea.

Why stay with a strawberry fantasy when you can sample all of baskin and robin's 52 flavours. Porn is the seed of Fantasy and it has been around for a lot longer than you think. I can guarantee you that the third or forth thing that was caught by a camera or movie camera involved porn of some variety. Have you seen silver screen silent movie porn? It is fun!

It is a fantasy and imagination. The mind, regardless of the existence of porn, will create that. It might be that waitress who bent over to grab your buddies plate at lunch and you could see down her shirt. Porn or not he might rub one off imagining what could be done further here.

Some people make it a reality, and mess up their homes. Its so many people that break up from their spouse watching porn, now,if it was something good to do, why is it breaking up homes??? Porn can lead people to cheat, because they are looking for what they can't get at home. Now, is porn REALLY that serious to some guys?

This is not porn's fault it is a relationial problem. It is a lack of communication. It is not discussing something before acting. It is the, as soomthy so correctly said, insecurities on one side or another manifesting.

I take serious offence to the assertion that Porn leads to cheating. Cheating leads to cheatint. Porn leads to crunchy socks and waste baskets full of kleenexes. Porn, if anything, stems cheating because they can get that little bit of fantasy without having to go out.

Cheating is usually indicative of other more serious problems in the relationship.

This isn't to say that there haven't been relationships that failed because of porn. Porn is like anything else, consume too much and it will start affecting your life. Just like Drugs, Alcohol, and World of Warcraft. It is moderation that is the key.

Where did you come up with your ideas here? How old are you?

[GuardianofTime]

Seeker,

The answer is quite simple. If one has become addicted to porn they will have to seek help to subdue this urge... or go through the self mental training and torture to overcome your physical being.

I believe it can be done. But is will be very difficult to achieve. If you are in a long distance relationship it will be even harder to stop watching porn. However... if you love the person and that person.. comes to you and says... would you please stop watching porn:

Let the challenge of the mind begin. It will be the hardest thing you ever had to do. No pun intended.I do believe the human concept of love will prevail.

Guardian

[daniigurl]

I see what your saying....! I personally feel that there really no need for porn. I mean if your watching something you fantasize about, why don't you make that fantasy a reality? I mean, people waste years fantasizing about something they would like to do, but never do it. How about you make it happen and find out, that is wasn't what you thought if would be the whole time. Some people make it a reality, and mess up their homes. Its so many people that break up from their spouse watching porn, now,if it was something good to do, why is it breaking up homes??? Porn can lead people to cheat, because they are looking for what they can't get at home. Now, is porn REALLY that serious to some guys?

Why don't you watch it with him? I love watching porn, I rather enjoy masterbating to something real vs just using my imagination, it turns me on more. I wish my boyfriend was more open to watching it with me, but I'm a lot more sexually adventurous than he is, though, as a woman, you can learn a lot of really great things from porn, and when I watch porn I don't do much get off to the men in it, as much as I do the situation they're portraying. I like to think men do the same sometimes, but that's what eases my mind because I know my man watches it too, so long as he comes to me at the end of the day and no one else, who really cares? After all, I can imagine being with the hottie nextdoor or the cute guy at the mall as well;) change your perspective sweetheart, its really not that bad.