[dani04]

[F]I really like this guy, He was my first boyfriend. He left me. I want him back...
I thought he was my soul mate but I guess not.
I am afraid of dying all alone, with no kids or family. And I don't want that.
My dream was to marry this guy, have kids and be a photographer.
Before I was with this guy, every guy I liked say I was ugly, fat... etc
I am afraid I won't EVER date anyone else, I am really shy around guys too and I am just so afraid and just all alone:confused:

[N0help4u]

How old are you that you are afraid of dying alone?
I bet you have years ahead of you and will find guys that like you
If they say you are ugly tell them they are shallow!

~~Guys usually die first anyway (some say cause the women nag them to death)

[nicki143]

This is in the teen section how old are you.
Firstly you are not ugly
Secondly it is his loss
You will not die all alone you will meet someone one day and have kids it just takes time your ex is just angry and lashing out ignore keep your head up and do not worry there is plenty more fish in the sea

[Fr_Chuck]

I have a silly teaching, it is the walmart method of love, go to walmart in the evening, watch the 300 lb and ugliest people you could ever think of going in, they all are married, have kids and more

In Jr High or High school, looks and if you are a cheer leader or not, mean more than it ever will in real life.

Of course you will find someone.

[MOWERMAN2468]

Don't worry, God made someone for everyone.

[dani04]

I have a silly teaching, it is the walmart method of love, go to walmart in the evening, watch the 300 lb and ugliest people you could ever think of going in, they all are married, have kids and more

In Jr High or High school, looks and if you are a cheer leader or not, mean more than it ever will in real life.

Of course you will find someone.

Aw thank you

[dani04]

This is in the teen section how old are you.
Firstly you are not ugly
secondly it is his loss
You will not die all alone you will meet someone one day and have kids it just takes time your ex is just angry and lashing out ignore keep your head up and do not worry there is plenty more fish in the sea

I am 14

[ISneezeFunny]

... at 14... you're not even what you're supposed to look like.

The posts above are right, you're NOT ugly. And on top of that, your entire body and face will change over the next 3 - 4 years.

Don't worry about the idiots. Before you know it, guys'll be all over you and you'll be back on this forum with a new question, "Which one to pick?!?"

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes, I am well past 14, but it is funny as you go back to the 10 year and 20 year and 30 year high school reunions, all ( well a lot of them) those cheer leaders, and all of the "in"people, have kids, end up married to the diesel mechanic and have 6 kids, double in weight, and age is often not nice. And often those plain girls, find out about make up, change the way they dress, change their hair style and all of a sudden they are the beauty queens.

But as we get older looks are not the most important thing

[Allheart]

Hi beautiful Dani :)

If I were to go outside right now, and gather six 14 year olds and bring them into my house, how many of them do you think would answer "yes" to the question, "Do you have days where you feel ugly"?

How many? 4? No. 5? Nope. Try 7. That's not a typo. I meant seven. The six 14 year olds that I gathered and the 14 year old girl still inside of me.

Shy? I begged the wall to swallow me up. Try having red hair, 5'8 or 5"9 at 14. Ohhhh so much fun.

But you know what. I kind of liked being shy. Oh there were days when I would get sad. But most days, I was the shoulder to cry on to all my outgoing friends who had boyfriends that just crushed their heart. After awhile, I liked being 14 and free and just having plain old fun.

Now, if I were to go an gather 6 supermodels and bring them into my home, how many of them do you think would have a complaint about how they look? How many think their hair is to frizzy, their nose is too small too big too whatever. Everyone of them.

So you my beautiful friend, head up, smile on your face, be 14 and go out and have fun. There is nothing more beautiful then a sweet girl with a sweet smile. :)

So :) and watch how many smile back at you.

[life1973happened]

Good evening dani04...
These are the hardest years of your life. Being a teenager is brutal. Young teens are just plain mean. There is no depth to their shallowness during these years. Please understand that and know that above anything else you will one day look back and not see things the way you do now. You know what else? Neither will those boys that say those awful things.

The funny thing dani04 is that you will go to high school reunions 5/10 years down the road and wow will you chuckle. The meanest girls will have gained 150 pounds, have 6 kids, twice divorced, and suddenly struck with the knowledge that their life of entitlement had protected them from reality. It's funny how wrong people can be about another especially at your age.

I also understand at your young age that at this moment you are still at the center of confusion and these problems are all too consuming. But you will get through this and you will get through it stronger, braver, more powerful, and probably... a beautiful swan.

When I was a tadpole I remember waiting for my father in the school yard, my head in my lap crying. The rest of the kids had gone and I was free to cry as my heart burst with pain. When my father arrived, he came to me, wrapped me into his arms and asked me what was so troubling that my big blue eyes would swell up with mountain size tears? I sadly told him the other girls said I was ugly (and I was) teased me about my short hair and looking like a boy (and I did) He sat there and listened to me tell him my enormous problem. Then he responded by simply telling me that one day I would turn into a beautiful swan and all those awful girls, would turn into ugly-ducklings.

Now looking back I'm not sure that was the best advice but it made me smile, and it dried my tears! He turned out to be right you know? As you get older your problems will change and the ones you have now, you will wish you had. They get harder as you get older but your armor gets stronger and your better equipped to deal with it. Adults are much more kind, I assure you. Looks begin to matter less and brains matter more! (at least to somebody worth you spending any time with) You will learn to appreciate, respect and love yourself in a deeply profound way. You will also learn that you need to be your own heroine and not rely on a guy to do that. I hope you listen when your heart tries to teach you those lessons, as it will save you years of heartache.

When you grow to be a wonderful young woman you will find that your heart will still ache from time to time but not in the way it does now. However, try as hard as it is right now, to not rush these years. They will be years you will long to go back to from time to time. Take it all in and enjoy the journey. Most of us, old timers, wish somebody had given us that advice (wait a minute I think they did);)

Lastly, the best revenge is success so never dani04, let them see you sweat.

So please tuck these responses in your back pocket for a rainy day, you might find them strong truths, a few years from now!

[nicki143]

Allheart you always manage to say the right things
She is right Dani04 at 14 you should have heard me go on about my looks thinking I was unloved and would never find anyone

[barbiechick123]

Don't worry dani, you will fer sher find someone for you. Firstly, what you look like now, won't dertermine what you will look like later on. Secondly, the boys who called you thhose things are obviously shallow, if you already had 1 boyfriend trust me ull have another, plus, this might sound hypocritical since I wrote a post about wanting a guy but truly, you should just do things for yourself, the more you do the more guys will come along. Don't stress over that. Be yourself and remember don't change for anyone :].

[jennyrena]

Beauty is as beauty does. Be strong and be you. There is nothing more gourgeous than to see a confident young woman, it's the key. We wouldn't avice these things if we didn't care. But before you work on how you feel about some boy you should work on how you feel about you. Fall in love with yourself, you'll find so much that you like about who you are. And at 14 I can promise your not done growing. My cousin is around your age and she was knobby knee'd and her nose was huge.well wouldn't you know she has grown into herbody and is absolutely beautiful. Hope this helps

[mackythehacker]

Don't worry if someone's says your ugly, I get it all the time lol but I know that most of my friends and me like personality, I don't really care about looks, and neather do my friends :). So not all people go for looks..

[bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE]

Dear Dani04,

I have been through a situation quit similar to yours. When I was in middle school, I was constantly made fun of because of my looks. I was the skinny, flat chested girl who honestsly did not attract many guys.

Now? I look back at all the people who made such nasty comments to me and LAUGH IN THEIR FACE! You know why? I look at them and they are the ugliest people I have ever seen.

When I got into high school, I fatened out, grew some breasts, lost the pimples, grown out my hair which is now long and curly, grew taller, excentuated my looks and got a ton of boyfriends.

If people see the beauty within you then they would have no reason to call you such names!

Best of luck to you!

[dani04]

Good evening dani04...
These are the hardest years of your life. Being a teenager is brutal. Young teens are just plain mean. There is no depth to their shallowness during these years. Please understand that and know that above anything else you will one day look back and not see things the way you do now. You know what else? Neither will those boys that say those awful things.

The funny thing dani04 is that you will go to high school reunions 5/10 years down the road and wow will you chuckle. The meanest girls will have gained 150 pounds, have 6 kids, twice divorced, and suddenly struck with the knowledge that their life of entitlement had protected them from reality. It's funny how wrong people can be about another especially at your age.

I also understand at your young age that at this moment you are still at the center of confusion and these problems are all too consuming. But you will get through this and you will get through it stronger, braver, more powerful, and probably... a beautiful swan.

When I was a tadpole I remember waiting for my father in the school yard, my head in my lap crying. The rest of the kids had gone and I was free to cry as my heart burst with pain. When my father arrived, he came to me, wrapped me into his arms and asked me what was so troubling that my big blue eyes would swell up with mountain size tears? I sadly told him the other girls said I was ugly (and I was) teased me about my short hair and looking like a boy (and I did) He sat there and listened to me tell him my enormous problem. Then he responded by simply telling me that one day I would turn into a beautiful swan and all those awful girls, would turn into ugly-ducklings.

Now looking back I'm not sure that was the best advice but it made me smile, and it dried my tears! He turned out to be right you know?! As you get older your problems will change and the ones you have now, you will wish you had. They get harder as you get older but your armor gets stronger and your better equipped to deal with it. Adults are much more kind, I assure you. Looks begin to matter less and brains matter more! (at least to somebody worth you spending any time with) You will learn to appreciate, respect and love yourself in a deeply profound way. You will also learn that you need to be your own heroine and not rely on a guy to do that. I hope you listen when your heart tries to teach you those lessons, as it will save you years of heartache.

When you grow to be a wonderful young woman you will find that your heart will still ache from time to time but not in the way it does now. However, try as hard as it is right now, to not rush these years. They will be years you will long to go back to from time to time. Take it all in and enjoy the journey. Most of us, old timers, wish somebody had given us that advice (wait a minute I think they did);)

Lastly, the best revenge is success so never dani04, let them see you sweat.

So please tuck these responses in your back pocket for a rainy day, you might find them strong truths, a few years from now!

Aww thank you that was really nice

[life1973happened]

You were worth the response! Thank you for sharing your pain and allowing us all in. That takes courage and guts dani04.

So you see, you already have a heard start?

[dani04]

I know it does , I was just confused and all about everything and didn't know what to do so I came to people for help :(

[jespinoza1]

HI Dani,

I just want you to know that you are not ugly, People can be really mean at times and the worlds best scientist have yet to discover what happened to their brains. Please do not believe that you are hopeless. Many women all sizes, shapes, ages and colors all go through the same feeling you are having right now. No woman is every happy about how they look, we all would like to change something. The first thing on your list should be to do something that makes you feel beautiful about yourself, no matter what anyone thinks. For instance on the days that I feek yucky, I like to have a facial or a massage. Just do something that makes you feel good about you. And by the way believe it or not men are very insecure themselves, they are just not so open about it. So smile and keep your head up, because if you walk with your head down, how is your prince charming ever going to see you. :)