[ChaosShards]

So I'm stuck in the worst situation ever, and if anyone else has been through it and made it out successfully, this is the point where I could really use some advice. Please don't tell me anything negative. I really don't need to hear that. I'm genuinely stuck here.
So, my former boyfriend has been my best friend for about six years. We understand each other on the most amazing level, we have so many things in common, we want similar things in life, the attractions there, we never get tired of spending time together, he's always been there for me, everything. I had feelings for him ever since I met him and confessed about two years ago, we dated for six months and we ended up fighting a lot because we couldn't talk often enough. Because he happens to live in England.
Six months later I met my current boyfriend. We also have a good connection, and I can never get enough of spending time with him, we have a lot of things in common, etc. We've been together on and off for about a year now (we fight but we over come it)and the issues usually revolve around him smoking pot and doing badly in school. However, he has always been there for me as well. I mean, every time I ever fell on my *** since I've known him, he literally picked me up and set me back on my path. He's sweet in his own quirky way. So here's the problem.
Their both romantic. Their both as obsessed with music as I am. They both treat me wonderfully. I'm so ridiculously happy around both of them. The idea of hurting either one of them kills me and makes me sick to my stomach. I'm staying with my boyfriend but my best friend told me he can't be friends with me forever, because it hurts too much and it drives him crazy that he's not here. I've told him I'm staying with my boyfriend, and he's respectful of that and understands. I'm really trying to give my boyfriend more of a chance to see if we can work out our problems -if he'll stop smoking, which really hurts me- but I can't help falling for my best friend, and he's the only person I've ever really totally trusted, but I know my boyfriend is trying. Just today he texted me a picture of him spelling out "I love you" in french fries. What do I do? Please help!

[Kahani Punjab]

Chaos Shards,

Welcome to this beautiful site, first! Really very tricky and catch-22 situation, no doubt, but, even as for you both are almost same, and its tough to leave any, you have to take the hard decision. Just ask both of them as to which of these is prepared for life-long or at least very long-drive or long-lasting relationship with you. The one, who can't be friends with you forever, whom you call 'best friend' is someone, who I presume needs or at least, can-be singled out. Should not?

Still, the best one to answer this typical question is you! Still, weigh all pros and cons, all options and talk to them about their future plans, and decide on the basis of all the aspects. Draw a line amidst the paper and write down the positive and negative points of one, and then of other, on other paper and count the merits and demerits of both. Even as love and friendship is not arithmetics, it can help, I presume. At least, when your love has gone mathematical! Is not it?

[ChaosShards]

Thank you Punjab, I will do as you suggested. Sometimes I wish someone would make the choice for me.. Even though I know my boyfriend is going no where in life, I can't help but love him anyway. I feel horrible thinking about that sort of thing because I want to choose for love, not for who is doing better money wise, though that would definitely be my best friend. I'm sticking with my original choice because I've tried to let my boyfriend go and it always ends with both of us miserable.. so I guess we'll see how that goes. Thanks again!

[talaniman]

You have already made the choice to stay with your boyfriend, so let the ex go. Focus should always be on who you have, not who you had.

Maybe 6 months isn't long enough time for you to wrap your head around moving on.

[Braileybourque1]

If your in love with two guys go for the second... If you truly loved the first, you wouldn't have fallen for the second...
Good luck..