[luchodawolf]

Ok here goes... I started working at my job last summer and met this girl at work.. she was really into me but I wasn't into her at first.. she had a boyfriend of 5 yrs at the time. I went out with her and the rest of my coworkers a few times before I eventually had kissed her. We started to see each other for a bit and she was aware that I was talking to 4 other girls at the same time. She always said that she didn't care as long as she was number 1. About a month after I met her she broke up with her boyfriend, she had told me that the past 2 yrs she had just loved him as a friend but was convenient to stay with him. She had lived with him for about 3 yrs. She finally moved out. About 2 months after I met her and we were seeing each other I started to like her and I made her the only girl I was talking to or seeing. I eventually asked her to be my girl. We were both on cloud 9 for about 3 weeks until her ex found out about me. She had told him we were just talking and nothing else was going on. She eventually told him we were not talking at all anymore. She eventually decided that we should take a step back in our relationship because she was not ready to be my girlfriend. I understood because she had just gotten out of her relationship. We started to see each other and just continue day by day. The whole time her ex would come into our job to work out(we worked at a gym) he never did before he just started after they broke up. He would bs with her and she asked me to swallow my pride and just ignore the whole thing and just keep my mouth shut. I agreed. Eventually new years eve came up and she decided to spend it with her ex and her old friends wich she has been doing every year. I toldd her how I felt about bringing in the new year with someone you expect to be with and she just apologized and went anyway. Anyway 6 months later and we are constantly fighting about her ex being in her life and her hanging out with him and her old friends. Now the only reason I get mad is because I know he doesn't like me and he will never accept the fact that she wants to be with me. I feel like she is betraying me because she is hanging out with my enemy. Should I feel that way? And let her hangout with him? Or am I right for not wanting her to chill with him unless I am invited also?
Because of this whole situation I have become very jealous and untrustworthy. I always tel her all I ask for is truth and communication but she always tells me to stop telling her what to do. I fell in love with her and she fell in love with me but she can't make the sacrifice to be with me and I believe its because of him. I don't know what to think about that..
I got to the point where I figured out her voicemail box code and I checked her voicemail one day and I found that her ex left a voicemail saying"how could you sleep in my bed one night and then go se ehim the very next day?" I confronted her about that and it didn't go well because I invaded her privacy but nonetheless she told me she slept at his house because it was late and she had gone to visit her dog which he had kept and his house. She told me that they slept in the same bed but nothing happened because sleeping with him is like sleeping with her female best friend. I told her I never wanted to see or speak to her again.. we eventually tried to work things out by talking again but we end up argueing more than enjoying ourselves. She eventually told me that I'm not what she's looking for anymore because we have too much history and she needs a fresh start. What do you think? Did I cause this? I still love this girl because I feel like we are suppose to be soulmates and she felt that way at one point also. Or should I move on and never make any contact with her at all?
I'm sorry, this situation was very complicated.theres more to it but if this doesn't make any sense I will post more up.. its just very complicated..

[britEl]

I think from your side of the story that its just a waste of time. Her wanting to spend more time with her ex boyfriend then with you is ridiculous, and shows that she is not thinking about just you. It seems as though she is stringing both you and her ex along while she decides which one she really did want. I would say stop contact, someone who loves you should understand that its unacceptable to sleep over at her ex boyfriends house while dating you. If I slept over at an ex boyfriends house not only would I be dumped but my ex boyfriend would be in grave danger because my boyfriend would want to pummel him!

[artlady]

If she knows that being with the ex is bothering you (for good reason) and continues to do it then I would rethink the relationship.

Clearly,her desire to be with him has priority over her feelings for you.

how could you sleep in my bed one night and then go se ehim the very next day?

That sounds like more than friendship to me ,maybe it is friends with benefits,either way ,it is disrespectful to you.

I think she needs an ultimatum.She can't have it both ways.