[tiki49]

I am so worked up I just need to vent to someone--my husband and I have been married for 25 years. 3 years ago his widowed father became terminally ill and died--it took a long time to sell the house in this market (1 1/2 years) during that time my husband reverted back to being a pot smoking teenager with his loser brother. Husband has 3 brothers --the 2 not living here are good guys --have their masters in their field . My husband is a good guy --doesn't do anything wrong with the law--goes to work, good father. Well, his one brother that lives in our town is a loser --was addicted to cocaine--was caught selling --tried went to 1 year rehab for that. Does not work, lives with the latest girlfriends who are lonely(he is 52) never pays taxes. Back to my husband--his work brought on big account---they had everyone drug tested -he tested for pot--now for people saying "whats the big deal" it is for some companies and my husband should have known that! He now has to be out of work 2 to 4 weeks--go to counseling( which I am not upset about)--This happened 22 years ago when we were first married --we applied for mortgage and it showed a 3,000 dollar loan--found out he was staying home from his job and smoking pot with his loser brother--he was fired back then--I went to my husband's mother back then and we went down to her loser son's apartment to yell at him to not drag my husband down. Of course I can't blame my brother in law for it all--its my husband reposibilty. Our kids are in college now--both made the dean's list --when their father was hanging out at "pot house" with uncle steven--I said a little to them I don't like this--my daughter was mad at me "Jee mom, I like that dad is hanging out with his brother --he went through a rough time with grandpa's death" so you know I sat back , and look what mess this is in---I told him I cannot be sitting here always thinking he is meeting someone for a joint---his office will be testing again--I am a registered Nurse of 28 years and it got by me. Anybody got any advice for me? I am really down right now.

[jmjoseph]

He's lucky to have not been fired. Maybe this will be an eye opener for him. Today's job market doesn't have a lot of alternatives for the recently unemployed, so I wish him luck. For you, I also hope that GOD grants you strength and serenity at this trying time. Remember that things can always be worse.

Maybe he should stay away from the brother, for now.

[Gemini54]

Not sure what to say except that there's no fool like an old fool.

My Ex got caught drink driving a while ago and lost his driving license for 12 months. He had to attend 2 months counseling and rehab and it did him the world of good.

Perhaps the same thing will happen to your husband - they often take greater heed of the authorities than their wives!

Being exposed through his work might just be the kick in the butt that he needs.