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magicraft5 · Sep 25, 2007, 10:42 AM

My GF and I just split last week, and it was kind of a rough split. We split, after breaking up and getting back together many times over the past 6 months, for good last Friday. I didn't see her or talk to her at all over the weekend (we live in the same building). I see her on Sunday night and we talk a little. Later that night I go up to her place to talk a little about the week (because we work in the same place, also... I know bad on me) We talk for a while and she's wanting me to come back with her, I tell her that I can't right now because I'm just warn-out from everything that's gone on and I need to get out of this relationship. Then she tells me that she's got to be honest with me and tells me that Saturday she took a pregnant. Test and it came up positive. This could be possible seein' that we have had sex a lot in the past. But I don't know if she's lying about it or not, because a lot of things don't add up like: 1) She said she went out Saturday and got a loan to buy a motorcycle, which why would you do that after you took a pregnant. Test and still willing to go out after you tell me that you tested positive to buy a new bike. 2) I told her that if she is pregnant. We are going to have to work through our problems to give this baby a good life and be together. 3) Mon. night she starts saying that she's not real sure that she is because she's had a miscarriage before and this time she doesn't feel the same as she did before when she was. 4) She starts asking me last night that if she's not pregnant. Would I still want to be engaged or try to marry her, and I tell her I don't know, then she starts pressing me to ask her to marry her, and keeps asking and I keep telling her that I'm not going to ask her while she's setting there telling me to ask her that. So all of these things plus, she was supposed to go this morning to get a pregnant. Test at the doctor's office (which isn't supposed to take but like 20-30 minutes after they take your blood) and says that now she can't get a hold of the office or the nurses, and she's kind of avoiding the subject of trying to get a hold of them and let me know for sure.? So, what do you think... do you think she is or that she is saying this to try to get me to stay with her (which is what I'm starting to think)... Any help.? I also got to few questions for what I should do after if she's not pregnant? Any thoughts?? Also, if you look at my previous posts, this is all the same girl that all the previous posts are about, if you would like to check those out to get a little more background... >Thanks

GlindaofOz · Sep 25, 2007, 10:50 AM

She is without a doubt lying to you. She is hoping to win you back with saying she is pregnant then you are back and OOPS she had a miscarriage oh no... yeah right.

I would call her doctor and make an appointment for her and see what she does.

If she is not pregnant get and stay away from her. No contact no nothing. If necessary move or get a new job. She has the makings of someone to become quite obsessive. In my opinion any woman who would lie about being pregnant to try and keep you is capable of some pretty crazy stuff.

Not to lecture you at all but I would also like to add that a baby is NOT a reason to get married. If you think you have problems now just try throwing a kid into the mix. If you are unhappy as a couple in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship it will only get worse. Its better for a kid to have two parents who are happy apart then two parents who are miserable together. Because what will happen is that your child will grow up to think that people who love each other should mistreat one another and that you should stay in a relationship no matter what. Not the example to set.

macksmom · Sep 25, 2007, 10:52 AM

Sounds to me like she is using this as an attempt to get you back, then once she does she is going to say she miscarried.

I would have her take a pregnancy test at home, and let you see the results.

magicraft5 · Sep 25, 2007, 11:05 AM

Thanks for the answers, and without a doubt... if she's not we are definitely not getting back together. The thing is 2, I don't want to wait to hear that "Ooops I had a miscarriage. I want to know this now, I thought about trying to call the Office and see if they might be able to tell me since I could be the father if its true. I don't think it'd work because of the Privacy Laws now. She said this morning, before she went that she wanted me to go with her, and I said I couldn't... Now I think that I should've went...

GlindaofOz · Sep 25, 2007, 11:08 AM

I wouldn't take her word for it. She could tell you that the doctor said she is pregnant or could falsify lab results (I've seen it happen some women are nuts).

magicraft5 · Sep 25, 2007, 11:32 AM

Thanks for the reply... I'm really freakin' out over this... I just called the office and had to leave a message, hopin' they might be able to help out... What if she really is pregnant though, you know? Or if she's not pregnant how should I tell her that I'm not going to be with her?

GlindaofOz · Sep 25, 2007, 11:40 AM

If she is pregnant be a good guy and step up and be a father to the kid. It doesn't mean you have to marry her as I stated. If you two were to work things out my guess is that you guys would need some form of couples counseling.

If she is not pregnant. Tell her that she tried to deceive you in order to get you to stay and you will never be able to trust her again so you are sorry but you will never be able to be with her again.

The doctors office will not be able to give you any information its against HIPPA.

GlindaofOz · Sep 25, 2007, 11:41 AM

What if she didn't really have an appointment? What if she knew you wouldn't be able to make it and lied about the whole thing?

macksmom · Sep 25, 2007, 11:58 AM

As Glinda said, the doctors office won't be able to give you any information at all.

If she said she took a home pregnancy test on Saturday and it was positive, another HPT will also be positive... so I would have her take one at home, with you there... that way she can't lie to you about the results.

Either way, pregnant or not, I wouldn't get back into the relationship just on those facts. Having a child does not fix a relationship.

magicraft5 · Sep 25, 2007, 12:27 PM

The thing about might not having an appt. well she went in to get blood work done so the doctor's could check her thyroid. Now she said that she went in this morning, but still hasn't heard anything. So I guess I'm just going to have to wait until she gets off work and gets in to tell me what went on.

GlindaofOz · Sep 25, 2007, 12:30 PM

I thought when they did a blood test for pregnancy that you got the results back really quickly. Macksmom do you know how long it takes?

farfrmnormal · Sep 25, 2007, 12:51 PM

Blood tests usually take 24hrs - urine tests are within minutes, from experience.

macksmom · Sep 25, 2007, 01:17 PM

Originally Posted by GlindaofOz

I thought when they did a blood test for pregnancy that you got the results back really quickly. Macksmom do you know how long it takes?

From being a medical assistant, it all depends on what time the sample was taken, if there were any other tests order on the same vial of blood, and how quick the office is to getting back to the patient.

The sample (if taken at a doctors office) is sent out to a lab, of course if received at the end of the day, the lab may wait until the next day to do the testing. If other tests are ordered it may take 48hrs to a few days.

If it was just simply the pregnancy test, and lab work was done in the morning and sent right out, they could have the results as early as later on that day (the results will be fax from the lab).

Most likely it will be the next day though (24hours), then usually it is just someone in the office getting the results off the fax, attaching them to the chart, and sending them back to the doctor to look over, sign off on them, and send them up to be relayed to the patient.

Wow, I went way more in-depth than was needed! HAHA!

But anyway, she should know the results no later than Friday.:D

magicraft5 · Sep 25, 2007, 02:36 PM

Well... update on the situation... she got off work today and we talked a bit. She got on the phone with someone and told them that she was still looking to get that bike. I asked her when she got off if she was still planning to get it because of everything... She laid back and said that she really didn't think she was pregnant that the people at the office would've already called and told her and tried to make an appt. with another doctor. (Which the office she talks about, I go there also... military-both of us... and all the blood work they do, they always get back that same day.) She also said they didn't call her back, and that she called and left a message. Now, if I called earlier and they already returned my call... but they still didn't return her call about this situation... then... obviously its not... After she gets on the phone with another friend and says that she's just settin' there talking with a "friend" - talking about me, but after last night where she tried to get me to ask her to marry and all that I'm just a friend?? So, I believe I can wash my hands of this and go on like nothing happened except I got with a psycho girl that I should've left a long time ago... Sound like a plan??

macksmom · Sep 25, 2007, 03:14 PM

I think she realizes she can't keep up this "I'm pregnant" game.

GlindaofOz · Sep 25, 2007, 04:56 PM

I think your "plan" is excellent. Run far, far away from this chick. There is some serious instability there. I guess its best that you found this out now instead of after getting back into a relationship with her again and wasting more time.

talaniman · Sep 25, 2007, 07:47 PM

Time to ride into the sunset fah, sure pahtna! Don't look back.

magicraft5 · Sep 26, 2007, 01:31 PM

UPDATE!!
I had to leave work today for about 2 hours for a Dr.'s appt. When I got back she sent me an e-mail telling me that while I was gone... hmm... very strange... the office called and told her that the test was negative. She tried afterward to try to get me to stay together. But I shrugged those attempts off and I'm gooooooone... Didn't tell her like that, but made it clear that we weren't together.

GlindaofOz · Sep 26, 2007, 01:34 PM

BRAVO MAN! Good job!

s_cianci · Sep 26, 2007, 02:34 PM

It's hard to tell whether she's being straight with you or not. But, given the way she's handling things, she sounds like bad relationship material whether she's pregnant or not. If she does have the baby, insist on a paternity test to make sure it's yours. If it is, try to quickly agree on a weekly child support amount, have it notarized and file it with the court so that arrearages don't build up. Then file a motion in Family Court for joint custody and visitation.