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Tracy007 · Dec 6, 2008, 01:19 PM

Am I selfish? Right now, I feel that I cannot choose. I am breaking hearts all over the place. I am in a relationship of five years and I am not intimate with my man. I am just not turned on by him anymore. He does those same little touchy feely things he has always done and they are just so boring to me now. Maybe it’s because I am secretly being turned on by someone else.

This other person does everything that I want to be done to me! He takes me to heights that makes me think that only he can. We have crazy amazing sex. We sneak, publicize, and privately satisfy each other far beyond the means of my man and me. He had a girlfriend at first. He broke if off with her. My friend told me that I was partly responsible but we laughed it off. I eventually asked and was told no, but during later conversations it appears that my friend was right. This was absolutely devastating to me. I stayed away for a while with hope that he recanted his decision, but he didn’t. He wanted to spend more and more time with me. We recently had an overnight scenario in which we stayed up all night and day until about 4 p.m. We talked, we laughed, and now that I think back on it, it was probably a really bad idea. He didn’t want me to leave, even though he knew I had someone at home waiting on me.

My boyfriend is totally confused by my change in behavior and lack of intimacy. He wants me to guide him to foreplay and that turns me off before we even get started. He is just asking for my help and I, the person who has spent the last six and a half years with him, won’t even help him or understand or have compassion for him. He is so timid around me. So afraid that he will do the wrong thing, or touch me the wrong way that he is just sick of trying. I don’t want him to feel less of a man. I try to pretend but that’s just not me. I hide my face and try to pretend that I am enjoying it, but we have always looked each other in the face. I don’t even kiss him. I believe this it is the most intimate thing that can be done.

phillysteakandcheese · Dec 8, 2008, 01:27 PM

I think you owe it to your current “man” to be honest and tell him the magic is gone and end it. The lack of sexual confidence and his timid behavior are signs that he has lost his way with you. There's no reason to be mean about it, but he's not going to get over these things with you “faking it”.

kctiger · Dec 8, 2008, 01:33 PM

No, you aren't selfish. Seems to me you are just flat out mean. You are cheating on a person you have been with for five years... selfish is way too kind a word for what you are doing. Be a human and have the guts tell your current boyfriend that it is over. You are playing with his emotions right now, and he deserves someone that isn't a cheater and a liar. What you are doing is heartless, and it will come back around to you, believe that!

Tracy007 · Dec 8, 2008, 04:52 PM

Originally Posted by kctiger

No, you aren't selfish. Seems to me you are just flat out mean. You are cheating on a person you have been with for five years...selfish is way too kind a word for what you are doing. Be a human and have the guts tell your current boyfriend that it is over. You are playing with his emotions right now, and he deserves someone that isn't a cheater and a liar. What you are doing is heartless, and it will come back around to you, believe that!

Hi kctiger, I agree. How do I approach him, his my first love? Our parents keeps preasuring us into marrige and I don't know how to handle this...

kctiger · Dec 8, 2008, 04:54 PM

Just be honest and get it over with. You don't need to tell him you are having sex with another guy, as that would absolutely crush him. You do, however, need to tell him you are no longer in love with him and move on. The longer you let this go, the more it will hurt everyone involved. You parents don't matter, and I am sorry to say that. You live your life, not theirs.

Rough_dimond · Dec 8, 2008, 05:10 PM

Originally Posted by kctiger

Just be honest and get it over with. You don't need to tell him you are having sex with another guy, as that would absolutely crush him. You do, however, need to tell him you are no longer in love with him and move on. The longer you let this go, the more it will hurt everyone involved. You parents don't matter, and I am sorry to say that. You live your life, not theirs.

Thank you for your advice, I am shaking with fear because I don't know what to say... How he will take it... How my parents will react... I have to think what to say :confused:

KBC · Dec 8, 2008, 05:17 PM

Originally Posted by Rough_dimond

Thank you for your advice, I am shaking with fear because I dont know what to say... How he will take it... How my parents will react.... I have to think what to say :confused:

:confused:Is this Tracy?? :confused:

Synnen · Dec 8, 2008, 05:18 PM

You mean... you don't think you DESERVE their judgements?

You're doing a very bad thing to this man, and believe me--he's GOING to find out you cheated. Karma works like that.

Just be honest and tell him you met someone else, break it off, and just tell anyone else asking that you were the problem in the relationship, and you decided to end it rather than making him suffer.

talaniman · Dec 8, 2008, 08:39 PM

Ask Me Help Desk - Search Results,

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search...d=3450341'

Seems we have a person with two aliases here. What's up??