[memoo]

OK so me and this guy are seeing each toher but he acts weird like he has a weird way of showig he cares.. it feels like he doesn't care at all but he sais he does?
Like he gets jelousssss bigtime when his friend talks to me a lot and askes me to hang out, he also getsjelous when I tell him about guys that hit on me... but when the days over he never text me... or calsor anyhthing like today is the 2nd day we have not talked I decided to stop teting him to see if he textsme and he hasn't does this mean he does not want me.. and we dated before but we broke up and now were seeing each other like he sais he really likes me... but I really don't know HELPPPPPP

[jrebel7]

Explain to the guy what you expect in a relationship, communication daily (by way of your choice, texting, phone calls, e-mails, visits, etc.) then ask him what he wants from the relationship. If he won't give you answers, side steps or says one thing but does another, let him know that you would enjoy continuing dating him but you don't seem to be on the same page so to speak and stop dating him. There will be someone out there that will desire to visit with you the amount of time you enjoy.

He may just be immature and not know how to handle dating one person and meeting their expectations. Some guys are jealous even when you quit dating them or even if they are dating someone else, they won't want you dating others. Weird times, these dating times, huh?

Main thing, just decide what you want out of a relationship, make room for some give and take here and there but if you feel uncared for, unwanted, ignored, why be in the relationship? Best of luck to you!

[memoo]

Explain to the guy what you expect in a relationship, communication daily (by way of your choice, texting, phone calls, e-mails, visits, etc.) then ask him what he wants from the relationship. If he won't give you answers, side steps or says one thing but does another, let him know that you would enjoy continuing dating him but you don't seem to be on the same page so to speak and stop dating him. There will be someone out there that will desire to visit with you the amount of time you enjoy.

He may just be immature and not know how to handle dating one person and meeting their expectations. Some guys are jealous even when you quit dating them or even if they are dating someone else, they won't want you dating others. Weird times, these dating times, huh?

Main thing, just decide what you want out of a relationship, make room for some give and take here and there but if you feel uncared for, unwanted, ignored, why be in the relationship? Best of luck to ya!

thanksss for the help but sometimes I am scared to tell him whut I feel because he will think I am too needyyy or obsessive?. my friends yelled at me for th at too they said why does he have to text u and stufff but like hey don't understand=[

[jrebel7]

thanksss for the help but sumtimes i am scared to tell him whut i feel because he will think i am too needyyy or obsessive???...my friends yelled at me for th at too they said why does he have to text u and stufff but like hey dont understand=[

I do understand what you are saying here. Each of us has our own needs. Apparently your friends have not been in a relationship where they felt what you feel. They may someday and then they will understand but until then, until it becomes their reality, they won't. Just don't be fearful to tell him. Always communicate with the person in your life. If they can't deal with what you share, then they are not the one for you. I am not taking lightly your fears and being yelled at by your friends is so belittling on their part and makes you feel you are in the wrong. Friends should be supportive of you and what you are feeling even if they don't understand it or agree with it. They can share with you, they feel this way or that but to yell at you about it... sounds like toxic friends to me.

Take a step back emotionally and see if you feel what you require in this relationship is too needy and obsessive. If you feel it is, work on requiring less but if not, then move on.

I am a real hugger. I have always needed lots and lots of hugs. My husband is more of a loner type. For years, we had this similar discussion where he would say, "You wouldn't be happy if I was holding you and loving on you 24/7." I would apologize, feel badly, feel I was asking for too much. Years later down the road, I got it straight in my head. God gives us each other and says we are too meet each other's needs. One day, on one of his little dissertations on me needing too much hugs, etc. I boldy, without emotion said to him, "You know what? For years I have apologized for always wanting hugs and to be held by you and for years you have said, "You wouldn't be happy unless... blah, blah, blah." Well, we are to meet each other's need and we each have a responsibility to tell each other what our needs are so we can meet them. What are your needs? I will do my best to meet them." He didn't have much to say. I then told him what my needs are to be content and happy in our relationship. I told him I no longer will apologize for it. Those are my needs. If you meet them, you do, if not, I will deal with it." I have not one time in the rest of the years of marriage ever heard him say anything about me needing too many hugs. I do try to give him some space if he seems to need quiet and solitude but I did before also. I think the difference was that I spoke my mind, without emotions getting in the way. I believe he realized he had been a bit unfair also. We have been married now 11 months and 37 years! He needs as many hugs as I do now. He just wasn't use to so much hugging from the way he was raised. I didn't get hugged either when being raised, just a pat on the shoulder but even then, I told my parents, NO, I need a bear hug. They did it but with disdain and kidded me about it but we have to let others know what we need to feel whole. Yes, we should feel whole without any one else. That is true. But we are talking relationship here.

I know you may be thinking, this is a person who is speaking from a marriage standpoint but honestly, I believe it is the same in all relationships, you have to communicate with each other. He needs to share with you what he doesn't want and does want in a relationship then you can make decisions to stay or move on.

A person does not have to date someone who makes them feel unwanted. Too many other choices are out there. :)

[jrebel7]

In a nutshell (which I am not good at LOL), decide what you are willing to accept on a day to day. Communicate. Make good healthy emotional choices for yourself. When sharing with friends sometimes a little jealousy or control issues come into play. Most of the time, if a guy is not responding, that is his way of saying he is not interested or at least, not as much as he was. Some guys have a difficult time with confrontation and with just putting the truth out there.

[memoo]

In a nutshell (which I am not good at LOL), decide what you are willing to accept on a day to day. Communicate. Make good healthy emotional choices for yourself. When sharing with friends sometimes a little jealousy or control issues come into play. Most of the time, if a guy is not responding, that is his way of saying he is not interested or at least, not as much as he was. Some guys have a difficult time with confrontation and with just putting the truth out there.

You I really do think he is losing interest,, even if he tells me he stilll likes me, I can feel it.. so we wills ee what willl happen.

[memoo]

I do understand what you are saying here. Each of us has our own needs. Apparently your friends have not been in a relationship where they felt what you feel. They may someday and then they will understand but until then, until it becomes their reality, they won't. Just don't be fearful to tell him. Always communicate with the person in your life. If they can't deal with what you share, then they are not the one for you. I am not taking lightly your fears and being yelled at by your friends is so belittling on their part and makes you feel you are in the wrong. Friends should be supportive of you and what you are feeling even if they don't understand it or agree with it. They can share with you, they feel this way or that but to yell at you about it............sounds like toxic friends to me.

Take a step back emotionally and see if you feel what you require in this relationship is too needy and obsessive. If you feel it is, work on requiring less but if not, then move on.

I am a real hugger. I have always needed lots and lots of hugs. My husband is more of a loner type. For years, we had this similar discussion where he would say, "You wouldn't be happy if I was holding you and loving on you 24/7." I would apologize, feel badly, feel I was asking for too much. Years later down the road, I got it straight in my head. God gives us each other and says we are too meet each other's needs. One day, on one of his little dissertations on me needing too much hugs, etc., I boldy, without emotion said to him, "You know what? For years I have apologized for always wanting hugs and to be held by you and for years you have said, "You wouldn't be happy unless.....blah, blah, blah." Well, we are to meet each other's need and we each have a responsibility to tell each other what our needs are so we can meet them. What are your needs? I will do my best to meet them." He didn't have much to say. I then told him what my needs are to be content and happy in our relationship. I told him I no longer will apologize for it. Those are my needs. If you meet them, you do, if not, I will deal with it." I have not one time in the rest of the years of marriage ever heard him say anything about me needing too many hugs. I do try to give him some space if he seems to need quiet and solitude but I did before also. I think the difference was that I spoke my mind, without emotions getting in the way. I believe he realized he had been a bit unfair also. We have been married now 11 months and 37 years! He needs as many hugs as I do now. He just wasn't use to so much hugging from the way he was raised. I didn't get hugged either when being raised, just a pat on the shoulder but even then, I told my parents, NO, I need a bear hug. They did it but with disdain and kidded me about it but we have to let others know what we need to feel whole. Yes, we should feel whole without any one else. That is true. But we are talking relationship here.

I know you may be thinking, this is a person who is speaking from a marriage standpoint but honestly, I believe it is the same in all relationships, you have to communicate with each other. He needs to share with you what he doesn't want and does want in a realtionship then you can make decisons to stay or move on.

A person does not have to date someone who makes them feel unwanted. Too many other choices are out there. :)

Thanks a lot and yeah the friend part , you are very right. I do tell him my feelings and if he does something wrong and I know I do not sounds too clingy or obsessive at all I don't know he really seems like the guy that doesn't show his emotions so whatever... whatever happens happens I guess.

[jrebel7]

One thing we can count on in this world is change! Nothing stays the same. If this doesn't work out, there will be someone better for you who will meet your needs. No matter how much advice you receive from others, ultimately, you will have to make the choices each day that affect your life. You sound like you are fairly calm about this and that is a positive thing-sort of a wait and see kind of attitude.

I like closure so I am not patient to wait. If things aren't good, I am usually ready to walk. That is not necessarliy a good quality. LOL Just sharing. :)

[JBeaucaire]

Turn off the texts. If you stop the 100s of extraneous ways you bug him throughout the day, maybe you'll appear less needy.

So, if you have something to say, call him and say it. Stay off the emails, stay off the texts and IMs. Never punish him for not responding those types of communications.