[ScottGem]

No one helps dads so we lose all the time

I disagree with that. There are support groups, attorneys etc. Who do try to help dads caught in a situation like yours. Start looking for single father groups for referrals. I agree its not easy to find help and even sympathetic courts have their hands tied to some extent. But don't give up.

[talaniman]

It's a tremendous challenge being a dad, made more so when you and the mama are engaged in open warfare. Stick to the cool, calm, and self controlled path of working through the process. It's a long and difficult one for sure but patience pays off when children grow and you can make up for all that lost time that the ex has caused and regain the relationship that was delayed by a selfish partner. I have seen this work in many cases, so don't let her frustrate you into impulsive stupid reactions that accomplish NOTHING.

Emotions are so hard to control, and controlling hers is impossible. Work on YOURS, and weather this storm, and have faith your child will see the truth of reality when SHE has control over what she does. Never give up and let your ex ruin you with her words, actions, and negativity.

You cannot control her ignorant a$$, but you CAN control your reaction and actions to it. Think about it.

[ScottGem]

Your ex is cutting off her nose to spite her face. Your daughter is going to realize that it was mom that kept her from being with dad and missing out on holidays and such. And she will grow to resent mom.

[prestigious1580]

HI Ive had a solicitor letter and asking me to have my daughter yet every time I give times n dates its refused: I am about to reply could you read through and give me your thoughts

With reference to your recent letter dated the 3 February 2014 and my contact with my daughter, In your previous letter <the mother> asked what dates and times I would like to see <the daughter> and she has stated that she wants me to have more contact and visitation, I have always wanted this yet when I give my times and dates these are never excepted even from past communications with <the mother> it has always been the same and again this time. I work very hard trying to support myself and pay for my daughters up keep I now work very long hours just to keep my head above water and find that sometimes I don't get home from work until late evening. Also where possible try to help towards school trips and other activities

At present my contact with my <the daughter> is every other weekend, Boxing Day for a few days and a week in the summer Holidays and every other new year. I am not allowed to see my daughter any other time, which is unreasonable of <the mother> as she often leaves <the daughter> with her mum on weekends and her friends whilst she goes away or goes out. I understand that <the mother> deserves time with her boyfriend and her other commitments, if <the mother> was to give me more time to arrange work times and showed a bit of understanding of the pressures I face as well then I would be able to help, so far this has not been the case

[prestigious1580]

I live with my long term partner and have been living with her for over 5 Years. My daughter loves all of my partner's family and loves being around us. My partner works at the hospital in cancer care and she needs to book time off well in advance of the coming year for any holiday periods. My partner has always come with my daughter and I on our summer Holidays and my daughter loves her company. Now my daughter is coming to an age where she will need assistance in (Girly stuff) I feel it more important that my partner should be with me, as a father there is only a certain amount of help I can give when it comes to this! Of course if I was on my own I would deal with as best I could. As my finances are so delicate and that every penny is accountable I need to save money where ever I can, so if I was to book my August holiday I could get a free child's place thus saving a huge amount of money which could help in me doing more with Paige when she comes to stay

The reason for the explanation of my affairs is that since November last year I have been asking for a date In August so that I can book a holiday and that my partner can book her annual leave, it is now February and still I have no date! I ask you to ask the mother for this date or give a reason for not giving this date. My partner has booked the last two weeks of August off this year which cannot be changed now. Every year, I have always had my daughter for the second to last weeks of August and that every year I have the same problem. In the past 6 years all I have ever wanted is to see my daughter and to give her my love as a father. I will not be appointing a solicitor and will take advise only from my solicitor.

[prestigious1580]

There is also no residences order in place for my daughter, and as this is the case I would request that any forthcoming holiday's arrangements that involves my daughter leaving the country that I be informed of the full destination times and dates within a reasonable time.
My daughter has a school trip from Monday 23 June until Friday 27 June <location removed> as this is my weekend to have my daughter I will therefore require that her mother informs me as to what time Paige will need to be collected as the school will send out a text prior to arrival on the Friday Night, the school has informed me that this is normally around the 18:00 time.

In September my daughter goes into her new School, I wish to know the school as soon as her mother knows and that on her first day at my daughter's new school that I attend with my daughter to wish her good luck.
I would like to be informed of how we can go about mediation and the full cost involved, as I believe that sadly her mother and I are not able to talk or even communicate now, when I speak with my daughter, her mother seems to think this is the best time to relay information and communication through my daughter whilst my daughter speaks with me, which is unfair to my daughter, I think this is damaging my daughter and that It should stop.

I look forward to your reply

[ScottGem]

First, its unclear but it looks like the last three posts are supposed to be one letter address to the mother's solicitor? Is that correct? Before we can comment on the letter we need to understand who it is going to. I will say it certainly sounds like a reasonable request. You may want to clear up some of the spelling and grammar though.

I have edited the posts to remove personal and identifying information.

[prestigious1580]

Hi thank you for editing my letter it is intended for my ex wife solicitor

[talaniman]

You can be as reasonable as you want, but get this to court in case she is not reasonable as you are. She hasn't been so far. Expecting her to be is Unreasonable in my view. You are trying though.

[ScottGem]

Ok, I think I would reword this a bit. Let me think on it and I'll get back to you.

[prestigious1580]

Thank you Scott,