[prestigious1580]

I have been divorced for over 7 years now and have always paid full amount of £100 pwk towards the up keep of my daughter.
I've even paid for schooling and trips... recently I had to reduce the amount due to losing a major contract and this has now caused a problem.
I have seen my daughter every other wkend and every fri night, I changed every other fri to missing 1 Fri per month again this has caused a problem.
I have now been told that I cannot ring her and can only see her every two weeks I bought her a phone but now her mum has stolen it and also taken a charger I supplied. I have parental responsibility as per the courts its her birthday today and I have rang over 10 times but still she won't let me spk with her Im at my wits end on how nasty she is being is there anyone that can help me

[joypulv]

'I have now been told that I cannot ring her and can only see her every two weeks'

Who has told you this?
Everything the court has ordered has to be followed, but that doesn't make it easy for a parent to enforce on the other parent. You go back to court with as much evidence as you can of the denial to speak/see your daughter. Ask the court if a lawyer can hold the child support in escrow until the mother complies.

[talaniman]

If she is disobeying a lawful court order, then make the court aware of it and seek clarification and redress through the courts for her bad behavior. Stressing does no good, but actions make a difference. Do nothing, nothing changes.

[cdad]

If she is trying to withold the child when it is your court orders time for you. Then call the police and ask them to meet you there if she still refuses then they will arrest her for kidnapping and parental interference.

[ScottGem]

You said you had to reduce the amount of support. I'm assuming this amount was court ordered just as the visitation is. Is that correct?

Did you go to court and ask for a reduction, did the court approve it?

This is a two way street. You have no more right to arbitrarily change the amount of support then your ex has to withhold visitation. In other words, both of you are wrong. But the only recourse either of you has is to go to court to force the enforcement of the court order. Of course, she can take you to court to pay the full amount you owe as well.

I'm assuming you are in the UK, so I would consult your solicitor. But, if you have a court order saying you are supposed to be with your daughter at x time, you should be able to get the police to help enforce that order.

[prestigious1580]

The order was in place when I was able to pay I then went to the CSA who changed the amount which is now in place... I have the right to see my daughter as I have parental responsibility, yet every time I try to ask or plead I get no answer, I was taken into the house one day and told that I was not allowed to ring the house phone or her mobile and that I had to buy my daughter a phone otherwise I couldn't spk with her Im not allowed to have her at Christmas or on her birthday, and sometimes my daughters phone is off so like today I couldn't even spk to her to wish her happy birthday... Courts cost money something of which I do not have a lot of.
To give you some idea of what type of lady she is, I needed to know her passport number to enter into the web site for our holiday she refused to give it to me, even when she was at Gatwick my daughter asked for the number only to be told to put the phone down, I used to drop her at the house now I have to drop her down the road even my daughter says its stupid Im not a threat nor aggressive yet I have to stand there whilst my daughter is made to cry in front of me because I was 2 minutes late. I know this is wrong but if any person other than my ex was to hurt my little girl I would... well you understand yet I have to stand there and take it... what would you do even her ex boyfriend has said she was wrong

[talaniman]

I understand courts and lawyers cost money, but that is your options to fight your frustration because of your exes behavior.

[ScottGem]

Ok, so you legally obtained a reduction in support. So then she has no legal recourse against you. What does the court order say about where you go to pick up/leave off your daughter? If its not specified, then you shouldn't have to leave her off down the street.

But you really have 2 options here. One is to request she be cited for contempt of court for not adhering to the court orders. The other is to show up with the police for your appointed time to enforce the order. You can do both.

It shouldn't be too expensive to go to court on your own, but its your only recourse.

[prestigious1580]

Hi Thank you for your help and advise it has given me a new way of thinking. I just don't know why a mother would want to be so cruel or nasty not just to me but also my daughter does she not realise that she's hurting my princess. When Im late dropping her off she screams at me and shouts I try to hold my tongue, but sometimes I just react which afterwards I no this is not right, Im not saying I'm a saint nor a pillar of the community, all I want is to pay my way and be able to see and talk with my daughter. I no some fathers don't want to know but I do
Thanks again
Paul

[ScottGem]

Good luck and keep us posted.

[prestigious1580]

If I was to right to my ex wife this message do you think this may help:

This message is to inform you that I intend to exercise my rights as Parental responsibility of (My Daughter) against you this 30th December 2013
You have stopped me speaking with Paige and having reasonable contact with her
If you fail to be more reasonable I will apply to the court for a new order

I will seek to have (My Daughter) every other Christmas Day and alternating Birthdays I will also apply for a fixed date for Our summer Holiday In August for a minimum of 10 Days

You have left me no choice with your unreasonable behaviour
------------------------------------------------------------

Do you think this might help

[ScottGem]

Before you send that, please let us know what your current visitation order specifies.

[cdad]

I wouldnt send it myself. I would just go to court and get it started. By making claims such as this it only amounts to a threat. So if your decision is to go to court anyway then just do it.

[talaniman]

That's a lousy idea, just go to court and let them handle it properly. Put your emotions in check and handle your business properly.

[prestigious1580]

Thank you all for your frank comments, I will be making plans to arrange taking my ex wife back to court, If I win what will happen if she fails to abide to the order ?

[talaniman]

She will be held in contempt of a lawful court order and the judge can levy fines or whatever he deems appropriate under the laws of the state.

[ScottGem]

She could be jailed she might even lose custody.

[prestigious1580]

I do understand that in law she could be Jailed for not following a ruling however No Uk court would put a mother in prison or fine them as it could potentially harm my daughter and my ex knows this. I am now trying to get dates from her for a holiday in August, every year I have my daughter and ever year I have to wait for dates.
My partner works in the Hospital looking after people with cancer and she can only get certain dates off so she books 2 weeks I can only afford a holiday in August with free Kids places but still Im left waiting... Again only solution is court and what do they really do for fathers who are willing and trying yet face women who use their children as weapons and emotional blackmail.

[ScottGem]

I have no experience with UK courts, but its not much different in the US, fines or jail are rarely used but judges are not happy with people who show a willful disregard for the law and, especially, for their orders.

I'm sorry that we can't help you any more and I think parents that use children as pawns in their disputes with exes are among the lowest forms of life. The only answer I can give to this is that one should be very careful to be sure they are in a life relationship before they have children.

[prestigious1580]

Sadly I have to admit your totally right, English law only protects the one who looks after the children and yes my biggest regret is that I have a ex who is totally unreasonable. I was 2 minutes late brining my daughter home one day and my ex came out of the house screaming at me and pulled my princess back into the house crying her eyes out begging her mum. As Her dad I just had to stand there watching I ,must admit I did swear at her when she slammed the door in my face but it could have been so much worse... Im 5'9 stocky build and my ex is a small blonde haired women who people think butter wouldn't melt. But I would rather face 10 blokes than her... No one helps dads so we lose all the time