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    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #21

    Sep 12, 2011, 02:33 PM
    Makes sense to me and its obvious she has her own issues which makes it hard for you to deal with her. But that's why you leave her alone. Or face more drama and confusion, and getting dumped whether you make a stupid mistake or not. Remember the rumors incident? There is no pleasing her for long.

    Leave her alone, as it doesn't matter what she says. Come on guy, you can do better than this.
    landomando's Avatar
    landomando Posts: 43, Reputation: 2
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    #22

    Sep 12, 2011, 03:43 PM
    Okay so I'm not sure if I have said this but so far I have not talked to her for a couple days. I blocked all communication with her. She still says she doesn't want to get back with me but she wants me to like text her and send her an email. Just talk to her. But I mean I can't be her friend. I won't! So right now I'm not sure if she is confused and may get back with me or not a chance. I don't even know what to say. To her. I really wnt to beg her to forgive me but I think if I do that she will just S*** on me. I honestly am so confused
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #23

    Sep 12, 2011, 03:52 PM
    You are doing the right thing. By having no contact. That will help end your confusion.

    What's done is done, we all make mistakes. And learn from them. Ive made tons.

    You are right, if she doesn't want to forgive or get back, there's no reason to talk or be her friend.
    Never beg a girl, no matter what.

    I say, let the dust settle in your mind, and go about your business w/o her.

    Enjoy your life and don't allow yourself to be preoccupied with her & try to put yourself in her head.

    The best medicine is to live well. We all go through this one way or another.

    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #24

    Sep 12, 2011, 04:06 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by landomando View Post
    okay so im not sure if i have said this but so far i have not talked to her for a couple days. I blocked all communication with her. She still says she doesnt want to get back with me but she wants me to like text her and send her an email. just talk to her. But i mean i can't be her friend. i wont! so right now im not sure if she is confused and may get back with me or not a chance. I dont even know what to say. to her. I really wnt to beg her to forgive me but i think if i do that she will just S*** on me. I honestly am so confused
    When she dumped you it no longer mattered what she wants. She doesn't want you back, and that's all you need to know to leave her alone, and keep your own dignity, and self respect.
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #25

    Sep 12, 2011, 07:30 PM
    If anything, let this be a giant release.

    To move on & grow. This may be just the ticket. Sometimes that's how the universe works.

    You are in school. Concentrate on that. Don't let this past crap screw with your agenda.

    Have some fun. I did. Soaked everything in. Didn't discriminate. Learned lots.
    These are times where you need to let loose & enjoy. Not cry over a girl.

    Don't miss out on today.

    Like I said in my first post, as blackheart, "Boo Hoo"


    landomando's Avatar
    landomando Posts: 43, Reputation: 2
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    #26

    Sep 13, 2011, 10:05 AM
    As of yesterday it will have been the 5th day I have not talked to her. She has since contacted everyone at my college to have me talk to her. Since I smashed my phone and am done with Facebook I spent several hours writing this little letter. First I know its corney but its from my heart. I love her and want her back but I know her too well. I don't know why she wants to talk but I just decided to write this message and am going to share it with you. And a lot of this may not make any sense to you but its how we were as a couple...

    Hey,
    Well here goes. I love you so much and I know you hate me. It sucks cause I have only wanted to hold you and be there for you, give you kissys and now you just hate me. Well I love you. I know it may not mean much or anything to you but I hope you can see I made a mistake and I wish you'd forgive me, be mad at me, make me earn your trust back. I love you J***** your all I ever think about your all I care about. I know what your thinking I know what your going to say. You don't have to email me back because my heart is already broken as it is. You don't need to break it down even more. I love you j*****. I know you so well I can already see the email and what your going to say back to me because I know you. You know I love you J*****. U know I wouldn't do this but I did and I didn't even know I did this. I broke the only heart I ever cared about and now I have to live with that for the rest of my life.
    I want you to know that you're the most beautiful girl in the world. Not because you have a beautiful body. Or an amazing smile or everything about you is amazing but because your personality made you. I think about you and wanting to talk to you every second of the day. I just want to hear you talk in our cute voice and say excuse me. And give each other kissys all the time :'{ I have moments when I think my phone is vibrating just to talk to you but it isn't. Its just my leg twitching. You don't know how badly I want to go to sleep and never wake up :'{. I hurt you j***** I don't know why but I did. You don't know what's going through my mind. You don't know how confused I am. I want you to know that ill always love you. No matter what I will always love you.
    Love L*****



    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
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    #27

    Sep 13, 2011, 10:09 AM
    Please re read all the answers given to you so far.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #28

    Sep 13, 2011, 10:22 AM
    Nice letter, now burn/delete, DON'T SEND/move on, stay NC!!

    The purpose, is to stop your pain, and see facts, AFTER you have your feelings under control.

    She seeks a reaction from you. If she has contacted all your friends and relatives she already knows how you are doing, so what's her motives? Think, she wants what she wants, and that's continued attention! Not love, romance, or commitment, but attention.

    There is a big attention gap in her life. After 5 days. Sit tight, be strong.
    landomando's Avatar
    landomando Posts: 43, Reputation: 2
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    #29

    Sep 13, 2011, 02:52 PM
    Ya I feel like she wants a reaction, or for me to just be around and then slowly ill just fade away and she will be over me. I feel that's what she does or girls do.
    I was talking to my friend and he said he did the same thing. He was talking to this girl for a couple weeks and his girlfriend found out and she was pissed but I mean they worked it out. My other friends had some rumors spread about them. And they just sounded so ridiculous that there girlfriends didn't believe the rumors. And believed there boyfriend. I feel like I might have had that chance if it wasn't for her past. Do u think her past problems in relationships and family are a reason why its different? Why I don't have a chance? She doesn't take my word? I don't know I know every relationship is different but I feel like her past kind of affected us.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #30

    Sep 13, 2011, 02:56 PM
    We are all a product of our experiences, and it affects some more than others, and differently. Some good, some bad, and all the flavors in between. Don't judge, just accept, and go about your own business.
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #31

    Sep 15, 2011, 07:16 PM
    All that crap is normal in a breakup. We all want to know exactly why. Ridding the false hope...

    Don't spend too much time reliving or wondering, unless you use those thoughts to better yourself & heal.
    You'll know good thoughts & bad ones when they pop into you head. Use them to your advantage. Don't wallow.

    Its good that she's not actually there. Will help with NC. Stay with that. No BS letters or emails.

    Just have fun now & be glad that you are now drama free.

    Do for you. Maybe something killer that you haven't done before, something that you've always wanted to do, but didn't.

    landomando's Avatar
    landomando Posts: 43, Reputation: 2
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    #32

    Sep 15, 2011, 10:47 PM
    Im not the smartest person in the world. I make mistakes all the time because I do not think until after I do stuff. Im a good guy with a good heart. I wish she saw that. I want to be with her. I have only wanted to be with her.
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #33

    Sep 15, 2011, 11:24 PM
    C'mon.

    Stop bashing yourself. Plus you still think that there's some glimmer of hope.

    Those are 2 no-nos.

    Have you been listening? I know you have.

    We have weak times in breakups. Just don't dwell. False hope, yo.

    What worries me is this: " I want to be with her. I have only wanted to be with her."

    Oh, well.

    How about tomorrow w/o her...


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