[NukeNC]

The thing is we are happy when we are in person. She even said herself "Things are so different when we are together" its just college that puts a strain on us. We are so alike, not like we like the same things... its just. I don't know how to explain it. I know, we met when we were young and I know I've matured since then. But, I still haven't changed how I feel about her.

Just last week she said she doesn't want this to end. And then the next Friday after that she says she wants to take a break? I don't get it. I don't know if I can go NC to be honest. I know I'll get my answer quicker but I can barely stand what we are doing now.

[NukeNC]

So, I broke down tonight and couldn't stand it anymore and ended up calling her. She explained to me that she just needed time and that she loves me. She said she wanted to get back together and after a 62 minute conversation and my cell phone minutes being completely devoured she wouldn't back down. She just wanted to get back together. So, of right now... we are back together and she says she just wants to get back together. She was being pretty ridiculous though, saying things like "I just want to elope" and "I wish I could drop out of college and come live with you." and I offered her that I would come to college during alternating bi-weekly periods. She liked that idea. So, as it stands we are back together. Now how should I respond to this? Does it seem like she just wanted to get back together because I was hysterical or does she really feel this way?

[Wondergirl]

Why am I thinking she is kicking herself right now?

You gave her no choice, you know.

[NukeNC]

How did I give her no choice. I asked her point blank "Do you want to break up?" I wasn't hysterical yet, I was calm. She said no. I told her how I was feeling about the whole situation, being honest and such. She said that the break wasn't helping her and she just wanted to talk to me but didn't want to end up talking about this cause it sucked. She said she misses talking to me, and that this might become a factor down the road but right now she wants to be with me. That right there was what sold it for me, cause I was fishy let me tell you. But, the fact that she was honest and said that things could get rocky down the road really told me she wanted to be with me. Why would she tell me that if she just wanted to make me feel better? It doesn't make much sense to me.

[Wondergirl]

Okay. Let's go with "Everything is peachy keen and hunky dory now."

And that's the end of the problem. You're back together with her, with no break.

[NukeNC]

I wouldn't have asked on here if I didn't want another person's opinion. I really do want some advice. I know I can be a hard person to deal with and I'm sorry.

[Wondergirl]

Why are you not satisfied? An opinion about what? It sounds like this most recent contact solved the problem.

[NukeNC]

But, it sounds like you have an opinion on the situation. I would really appreciate it if you could tell me... I could use it. I'm still pretty confused.

[Wondergirl]

But, the fact that she was honest and said that things could get rocky down the road really told me she wanted to be with me.

Or, she realizes all the opportunities she has now, being away from you "watching" and cramping her style, so to speak, all the interesting looking guys walking around on campus, all the "temptations" (the rocky stuff).

On the other hand, if you are in her life, she can lean back and relax and have you as the at-home boyfriend she can use as an excuse to say no if someone asks her out. Of course, the road could get rocky if she thinks she might actually want to go out with someone.

[NukeNC]

I understand that. And it doesn't shock me. I know things are going to be tough over the course of the next 4 months. We both know that. Its something we want to tackle together though. And is there any truth to what she is saying? All I'm getting here is bad things... and it kind of sucks. But, I want honesty more than anything.

[Wondergirl]

But, I want honesty more than anything.

Only she can give you that. Her actions more than her words will give you that. I can only guess, having been in that situation.

I say, just relax and carry on and see what happens. Don't live in doubt; believe in her.

[NukeNC]

Well, I've had this problem for awhile and as I have a situation like that tonight I was wondering if I have anything to worry about. Now, my girlfriend is in college and I am taking a year off. The time apart has been hard, but we have been making it work. We are fresh off a "break" and everything seems to be going back to normal.

So, tonight she tells me she is going to a nearby college to hang out with some of her room mates friends. Now, mind you that most of her guy friends are gay so I'm not all that worried. She doesn't try to lie to me, she simply told me that she was probably going to stay in her room mates friends room on an air mattress. One of them is kind of with one of her room mates but not really, and the other seems to also have a girl that he is kind of with but I know for a fact that she asked one of my friends about him when we were on our break. Nothing weird, just if he knew him cause they go to the same college. Now, her room mates are going to be there... But, I wouldn't put it past them to try to hook her up with one of there friends. And this is our first day being officially back together

Now, I'm the jealous type. I can admit it. And I know my girlfriend would break up with me before she ever cheated on me. I'm just wondering if I have a reason to be jealous and how I can cope with the jealousy that always haunts me.

[JustinRED]

I'm the jealous type too; and sometimes that's a good thing. Did you ask for a break or did she? Because if she asked for one that could definitely put a damper on your relationship and I could see why you are jealous. I don't even like when my girlfriend hangs out with guys, and I'd never let her sleep over somewhere because that's just asking for trouble in my book so I guess that makes me the VERY jealous type. I really hate when girls do things like that but are somewhat "honest' about it like that's supposed to make everything okay.. but really it doesn't make us jealous guys feel better. It's good that you know some people there-but I would tell her that it makes me feel uncomfortable(say no more) and see what she says. If she gets all defensive then that's not good-but if she's the type to call you as soon as she wakes up and tells you she loves you on the phone in front of people then it should be okay. You could even try skipping that and inviting her to go out the next day-tell her all about your night and ask her how her night was. If she doesn't talk about it much then.. well.. the next couple of times she does something like this and you very politely ask how her night was after sharing your story with her and there's no story from her then that just means she doesn't want to share truth with you and you need to find a more honest girl. Relationships are all about fun, and if you are a fun person there's no reason why she wouldn't want to introduce you to ALL of her friends. People need their privacy but friendship is something that can go around. Of course you're not going to be best friends with her friends but you should get to know them well enough so you can read the signs of people. If she says you're being nosey just apologize and say you were just asking and you didn't mean to be. Just be cool about things and likable all in all, and you'll find out the answers to anything in your life.

[Wondergirl]

You two have resolved your differences and are back together. I personally think she should keep conversations with you limited to weather, classes, teachers, and what was for supper in the cafeteria. When she meanders into personal relationships among the college crowd and where she might sleep tonight, she gives you food for suspicion about her intentions and involvement.

Either you trust her or you don't. If you don't, your relationship is broken and can't be fixed.

[NukeNC]

So, here is the story... My girlfriend went to a party last night a nearby college, I was too worried about it I mean I knew that she would be drinking and probably get drunk. This would usually bother me but, I'm trying to get out of that habit as college has changed the deal with things. I need to adapt.

Anyway, she got really drunk and her and her room mate recalled having kissed the night before. From what she remembers it was just a peck, but for some reason it is bothering me more than it probably should. So, I'm probably just having a weird boyfriend jealous moment since she didn't try to hide it from me or anything. I know she's not a lesbian or anything, or even interested in her room mate like that. It just makes me wonder what else she would be capable of doing while drunk. I just want some advice of what to do about it. I trust her, I just don't trust drunk her.

[Wondergirl]

Why did she tell you about the incident? (especially if she knows how jealous you can get)

[NukeNC]

I 100% trust her. I just don't know if I can trust her when she is drinking. Nothing has happened yet, besides my topic I have just recently opened which you can check out. Am I so wrong to not trust when she is drinking?


I'm pretty sure she didn't think it was a big deal. I mean... I know she's not a lesbian as I said. As I said... its not really as much the fact that she kissed a girl. It's that I don't know what she is capable of when she is drinking, because if she is willing to kiss a girl how can I know how far it will go next time and what if its not a girl next time?

[Wondergirl]

No, you don't "100% trust her"!! She should not tell you anything about parties or her involvements. It sounds like she wants an open relationship so she can do what she feels like doing in college. If you don't like that, then the two of you should break up.

[NukeNC]

Well that's part of the reason I do trust her. Is the fact that she tells me what she does at parties and such, keeping stuff from me isn't going to help things along is it? I know she would never cheat on me sober. I know there is a slim chance that she is going to cheat on me drunk. I just want a way to cope with my jealousy. Its not such an easy thing to get rid of.

[Wondergirl]

Right. Get a little liquor into her, and who knows what she will do. And she sounds giddy enough that someone could slip something into her drink while she's not watching it (because she trusts everyone).

You can't forbid her to drink -- or can you?