Girlfriend wants a break. I need some help.
So, I don't usually do this... But, I've never had a problem like this before. So here we go...
I'm 18, and I've been dating my girlfriend since the summer after 8th grade. That's some real history right there, 4 1/2 years. Now, I know what response this will provoke... I'll get a "You need to be with other people, you've only been with one girlfriend blah, blah, blah" Yeah, I'm aware. Not trying to be a jerk, I just don't want advice not telling me what I already know.
Anyway, we have been really happy in High School. We had a couple problems in our earlier years, but senior year was pretty damn close to perfect. We are so comfortable around each other, I know everything about her and she knows everything about me. Anyway, High school ended in May and the summer still kept things rolling fine. We were both happy, we went to CT for a week together and it was an amazing time. But, then she had to go off to college. I decided during my senior year that I would take a year off and recharge my batteries school wise before jumping into College, and then I would join her at her college after. She didn't completely like the idea but, she seemed to accept it as time passed.
So she went to College, and first semester everything seemed okay. She would come home every other week to see me, and I went up to visit her once as I don't have a car so its difficult for me to get up there often. She came home for Christmas vacation and I was upset over some stupid thing I can't recall right now, and she brought up a nightmare conversation. She asked me if I ever wondered what it would be like to be with somebody else. And questions of that sort. Naturally that really bugged me and haunted me for weeks to come. We agreed to stay together though, so I thought that if I showed her I really cared about her things would resolve themselves. Stupid move, I can see that now but as I said before I'm not good at dealing with these situations.
So, we spent the last day she was home for vacation together, and she seemed sad to let me go and I comforted her and made her feel better about the whole thing. We both agreed to not see each other until Valentines day which at the time was 3 1/2 weeks. Closer to 2 weeks now. Which I didn't like very much, but I accepted after a bit. So, on Friday night I felt the need to tell her how I feel, that what we talked about really bugged me. She told me she didn't know what was going to happen with us, and so we called and I kept my cool through most of the phone call although my voice did get a little jerky through it, she was blubbering. I asked her if she wanted to break up, and she said she didn't. So, I offered the idea of taking a break, to which she agreed. She says she doesn't want to be with other people, so I set the little guideline that we don't date other people during our break and if she does want to date other people that we break up, she agreed but her guideline is that she is the one that will intiate conversation. I'm not "allowed" to talk to her first. I agreed to this as well. She told me that I was her best friend and she really does love me but she just needs time alone and to be "her." She says its different when we are together but college just makes things so hard. Now, her college is only an hour and fifteen minutes away. Its not like we are in different states. And the fact that she said she needs space doesn't really add up for me, like I get if she doesn't want to talk but we aren't around each other too often excluding the past vacation.
The break is still pretty pre-mature as it is day 5 of the break. We have talked a total of three times. The first time was pretty rocky, as it was the morning after and I was a wreck and that conversation got worse as she told me she felt tied down being in a relationship and asked why we couldn't spend time apart for a little while and get back together? I told her that that is what the break is for. We are essentially broken up excluding dating other people, unless that's what she wants. She said she didn't in a less than nice tone. The second time we talked about it a little, and it was much more civil. I told her I love her and all that jazz and that I want to fix things. She still tells me "I love you" after conversations and such and still seems to want to talk to me. She told me that it wasn't really about that much, she just needs space. Now, I would understand this whole space crap if she knew she wanted to get back together, but she told me she didn't know. Its weird, cause I've never once doubted my feelings for her and still don't but its weird to have her feel differently. I keep thinking I'm going to feel better the next day, but no luck yet.
So, I could really use some advice here. I don't want to date other people, I just want her. She is the one girl for me. Its weird cause when we talked last night she still acted like we were fine and this break isn't over. We are still technically together, but I really could use some help. What should I do? I do NOT want to break up, should I just keep giving her time for awhile and see how it goes? I could use some advice.
