[yasmin19]

How do you stop it from hurting through a break up?

[Fr_Chuck]

You don't, it will hurt, but as time goes on, you stop all contact with that person, and start moving on. It just takes time

[positiveparent]

When a relationship ends, its hurts, it hurts like nothing you've felt before, the pain is hard to bear and you feel its never going to go away, its natures way of toughening you up and also part of the school of hard knocks that life is all about.

You need to stop all contact with this person and keep to it, you'll find details in the stickies at the top of the list in this forum, its all there, follow the instructions to the letter, don't allow yourself to give in and make any contact with this person at all.

In time you'll begin to feel better, and to restart living again, but it doesn't happen over night, and you've got to stick to it, if you don't you'll merely be causing yourself even more pain.

You can do it, you have to do it, if you don't you'll never heal. Good luck, and anytime you feel its too hard to bear or you want to give in and contact the other person come to this site, you'll find support and understanding to help you through the tough times.

[BWK10]

Don't expect it to be quick fix either, it takes sometimes months to feel like yourself again. It's been 6 weeks since my ex and I broke up and I'm still hurting, but you do get better.

[talaniman]

You can't stop the feelings of hurt, or pain. You cope with them until it doesn't hurt, and you have healed properly, as in any wound you get, physically, mentally, emotionally, or physically.

I guess you decided to forget the marriage and end the relationship, huh? That's good.

Read the stickies in this forum.

[redhed35]

If you do and say the same thing,and the result of that is always the same,try something different for a different result.

For you,I'm going to suggest some councilling,straight off the bat,from all of your posts,it would seem to me that there are core hurts and issues that need to be dealt with before you can move on.

Your father leaving,an abusive relationship and a emotionally abusive relationship,there is a similar thread running through all of these relationships.

You may need to face some personal demons,it may hurt like hell,but the pay off is,you will make better choices for a mate,you will grow as a person,and become more confident in yourself and your choices/decisions.

[positiveparent]

You say you were in an abusive relationship, then you really do need professional help to help you deal with that, then you just might be able to have a loving relationship in the future, but do get help, now, you really do need some.

[yasmin19]

It hurts so much, I haven't eaten, I haven't slept, I haven't thought about anything but him.
I don't want to be with anybody else and I can never ever ever imagen myself being with anyone else.
Surely this means we are supposed to be together?
I just want him to want me. Then everything would be OK.
How can I stop thinking about it? I want to eat and sleep. I'm so tired, physically and mentally. I feel weak. I feel like I can't be bothered to wash or get up or live.

Help me.

[Cat1864]

It hurts so much, i haven't eaten, i haven't slept, i haven't thought about anything but him.
I don't want to be with anybody else and i can never ever ever imagen myself being with anyone else.
Surely this means we are suposed to be together?
i just want him to want me. then everything would be ok.
how can i stop thinking about it? i want to eat and sleep. im so tired, physically and mentally. i feel weak. i feel like i can't be bothered to wash or get up or live.

help me.

There is only so much we can do. You have to get up and do what you know you need to be doing even though you don't feel like it.

When you find yourself thinking about him, change your thoughts to something else. Don't allow yourself to dwell on him or the past. Start by doing small things like washing your face. Eating a cracker. Rearranging the items on a table. Opening your windows and looking outside.

Look up support groups for molested and abused women. Knowing you aren't alone can do a lot to help.

Have you taken Red's advice and looked into counseling? Is there someone you feel like you can talk to about your past and your feelings?

[yasmin19]

My ex is finding this break up so easy... he doesn't text or call... he just stops contact. But I can't do that, I text him and phone him hundreds of times a day and I email him and any possible way of contact I do. :( I want to stop because I know I look needy and I'm making a fool of myself... but I just can't stop :( xx what should I do?

[TruthSayer0122]

I know it's hard. I have a hard time breaking up with my immature "nice" guy. It would be so much harder if he wasn't so sweet to me. But change your number,block his email address, block him on Facebook, delete all of his contact info. Tell your friends that you do not want to hear about him. Give yourself a makeover.

[talaniman]

Stop saying can't and just do, because your just making yourself feel awful by being desperate and needy. He ain't the one so stop trying to make him be.

[Cat1864]

You have asked about how you stop thinking about him and how you stop trying to contact him.

You get up and start doing things that occupy your mind and your hands. Pick something that makes your hands so dirty you don't want to touch your keyboard or phone. Cooking, baking, gardening, refinishing furniture, redecorating, arts and crafts of many types, etc. take your brain and hands working together. Some even get your entire body into it.

You get out of the house and talk to people other than yourself. Meet new people. Get involved in things that occupy your time and make you interact with people who you have to pay attention to. Some people enjoy working out at the gym. In your case, I would suggest a class like aerobics or any of the dozens of other exercise types where you have to listen to an instructor.

You stop feeling sorry for yourself and what might have been. You let go of the out-of-date dream.

[redhed35]

Stop with the poor me's and making contact with him,that's the first thing to do.

Hundreds and thousands of people have been where you are,each at some time thought 'but we were meant to be together' and guess what... no they were not.

There is someone out there for you,but he does not want a sloppy mess,he wants his women to be strong,and independent and not hung up on a ex.

Get yourself ready,go out,ring your friends,do something today,do anything but stay at home listening to sad music and feeling like crap.

Your ex is long gone.

I know your hurt but picking at the hurt won't help you heal.