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    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #21

    Apr 16, 2009, 05:56 AM
    Hell yes! Let go, and be gone! There are many more options, and opportunities waiting for you, but you need to be healthy enough to pursue them.

    Its not like you didn't see the signs, but chose to ignore them. Like your doing now.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #22

    Apr 16, 2009, 06:59 AM
    We had sex the first night we met, about a week later we went out.
    It must not have been that sacred, but I can understand the attachment those intense, first time feelings, gave you. Hard not to think of it as love, but it WAS NOT!!!
    Well she is my first girl I've had sex with (im 20) the first relationship I had,
    So this is all new to you.
    we spent every day and night together.
    So you got in deeper, and deeper. Did she know it was your first time???
    I think sex and lying is the 2 worst things you can do to rebound or take revenge.
    She didn't feel the same, it was just something to do for her. Obviously you thought the experience was as intense for her, as it was for you. IT WAS NOT!
    Sex is like sacred it's a honor for a girl to let a guy in that...
    That's only your side of it, obviously not hers.

    I mean everyones saying how I should be able to get over her easy but I feel like I would still be with her after this even though I could NEVER trust her again,
    Thinking with feelings, and ignoring all the facts.

    Have heart, the emotional dust will settle, and reality will set in, and the brain will start to function better. No body said it will be easy though, as this is the hardest thing you will ever do for yourself.
    alana1xxx's Avatar
    alana1xxx Posts: 64, Reputation: 8
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    #23

    Apr 16, 2009, 07:36 AM
    She says she still loves me (So that's still there and the 2 years wasn't just a lust thing or something)
    She invites me to parties to see me (she must want to see me)
    She said a YES/MAYBE to getting back with me (which means she wants to but she doesn't know because she wants to see a change.)
    She said she needs her space to a 3rd party (meaning she wasn't lying)
    She has shown NO INTEREST to other guys (trust me it's a small town, I'd no)
    She acts sad on the phone when me or ANYONE else calls (she must still be upset from the breakup)
    She tells me friends to take me out and have fun and texts me not to worry (so she must care about how upset I am right now)


    She says she still loves you (of course she does but is she in love with you?)
    She invited you to parties (she doesn't want you to feel left out and is trying to be your friend)
    She said yes maybe to getting back with you ( she is biding her time until you are that little bit over her and then the truth will come)
    She said she needs her space to a 3rd party (she isn't stupid she knows they will tell you whatver she says)
    She has shown no interest in other guys( why would she, she isn't inhuman she's still nursing her broken heart)
    She acts sad on the phone ( yeah I'm sure she does she is still hurting because it didn't work out and is prob worried how she is going to tell you)
    She tells your friends to take you out ( she is trying to help you get on with your life without her)

    I'm sorry if this is a little harsh but its true she want to move on and yeah she still loves you she was a big part of your life for a long time but she is clearly trying to move on mate! I hop I'm wrong
    Jbinn's Avatar
    Jbinn Posts: 17, Reputation: 1
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    #24

    Apr 16, 2009, 08:24 AM

    That's the point, I don't hope you're wrong... after she did this to me TWICE and made me feel this way and LIED TO ME a lot and dissrespected my feelings and the family aspect...

    Im trying to cope with how NOT to be with her if she comes back.
    alana1xxx's Avatar
    alana1xxx Posts: 64, Reputation: 8
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    #25

    Apr 16, 2009, 08:58 AM
    Okay now you know girls unfortunately can be like this you do realise now that she was just bored and is now out enjoying herself to the max! So what is stopping you get your mates together and hit the town with a bang seriously do not be letting this get to you I know every time you hear a story about her out and flirting your skin will crawl it happens to the best of us and you prob will have this for a long time it doesn't just disappear unfortunately the heart is a funny thing at least she has donr you a favour you are clearly a lot more level headed and mature then this girl so get your kicks while you can live your life and meet new people this can be just as much fun for you it will be hard in the beginning because you can't help think oh when I used to do this with her... and that reminds me of her... but time is the best healer don't let this girl walk on you you dererve better and you know it! :)
    Jbinn's Avatar
    Jbinn Posts: 17, Reputation: 1
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    #26

    Apr 16, 2009, 10:27 AM

    I appreciate the input, I mean I always treated her well enough I may argue but who doesn't? I blamed this all on myself while she was out doing exact opposite of what she told me she wanted to do...

    I don't like woman that putt heir selves out to self-heal I don't care if she is hurting and wants me back because she made a mestake... She is old enough and should be wise enough to follow her own instructions and be truthful... She did it twice and I'll damned if she does it again.

    Im just scared I'll run into her, I still think about her and love her... I feel day by day its not ANY easier and its only been 2 days.. I know it can take weeks but I don't want to hurt that long.
    rxnarunner's Avatar
    rxnarunner Posts: 99, Reputation: 6
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    #27

    Apr 16, 2009, 11:52 AM
    She didn't love you... she lusted you and the dramatics of your relationship. You will get through this and be a better person. Its going to take time, but you will hopefully grow as a person and learn from this experience. Take it as a lesson learned. And now you know what to look for in another woman. Take the experience and grow. It sounds cheesey but think about it. Absorb the advice given from everyone
    Jbinn's Avatar
    Jbinn Posts: 17, Reputation: 1
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    #28

    Apr 16, 2009, 03:27 PM

    She did love me, I'm sure she did... She just lost that love. Which is more ****ed up.
    Jbinn's Avatar
    Jbinn Posts: 17, Reputation: 1
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    #29

    Apr 16, 2009, 09:52 PM

    Well I'm over he rfor good she said I need a life and I'm a loser LOL how can I be a loser when the guy she left me for does coke/oxys is a drunk and doesn't leave his house or have a job and he's 21?! Lmfao
    alana1xxx's Avatar
    alana1xxx Posts: 64, Reputation: 8
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    #30

    Apr 17, 2009, 04:10 AM

    The best thing you can do now is keep yourself busy make the effort to go out with your friends of course it guna be really hard a break-up like this is never easy its almost like you are grieving for a loss you have to keep thinking this girl has changed she is not the same girl you fell in love with and she will never be again no matter if she came running back in the morning would you take her back? I hope your answer is no although you prob would like to forget all of this and go back to the way things were before, you have to realise this is not your fault there is nothing you could have done to make her stay and love you back in the same way this is all a learning curve for you it will do nothing but make you stronger in the long run life looks bleak without her now but trust me that will all change as time goes on you just need a different routine for the meantime to keep you occupied I wish you the best of luck :)
    Jbinn's Avatar
    Jbinn Posts: 17, Reputation: 1
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    #31

    Apr 17, 2009, 07:51 AM

    Yeah I won'tt ake her back after saying that, before she said that I thought about it... but she called me names and totally put me down after she ****ed up totally and now she's basically still blaming me and just being a total ***** ijust need to go out and talk to/see different woman, because appearently nobody agrees with her reasoning except for herself.
    alana1xxx's Avatar
    alana1xxx Posts: 64, Reputation: 8
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    #32

    Apr 17, 2009, 07:57 AM

    Good for you that's the spirit! :)
    rxnarunner's Avatar
    rxnarunner Posts: 99, Reputation: 6
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    #33

    Apr 20, 2009, 08:18 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Jbinn View Post
    well im over he rfor good she said i need a life and im a loser LOL how can i be a loser when the guy she left me for does coke/oxys is a drunk and doesnt leave his house or have a job and hes 21?!! lmfao

    You don't say that about people you love!! I'm sorry to hear how it went down, but you'll be fine.
    cashakamrnyc's Avatar
    cashakamrnyc Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #34

    May 8, 2011, 07:40 PM
    I'm in the same boat I want to call mines and see how she is doing but I d k
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #35

    May 8, 2011, 11:11 PM

    Casha,if you need advice on your own situation,post your own thread please-this one's more than two years old.

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