[reppie]

My husband has a 7 year old son. He exercised visitation for the first year, then did not see him at all for 4 1/2 years, by his own choice (obviously a very bad one). Two years ago he contacted his son's mother to resume visitation. She was understandably apprehensive, but finally agreed to work through a therapist to reintroduce father and son. It has been a very gradual process, starting slowly and increasing time over the past two years. His son has seemingly handled this very well. If my husband went to court at this point to have a legal visitation arrangement drawn up, what would he likely receive (specific weekend times, holidays, summer vacations, etc.)? His ex will not be happy about going to court, and will probably fight to keep his visitation to a minimum. We would just like to have a fair schedule, decided by a judge, that all parties will have to follow consistently. As it is now, his son's mother makes all decisions and changes things very frequently. My husband has joint legal custody according to the original court papers, but there is no legal visitation order. We live in Maryland. Thank you.

[Fr_Chuck]

The court would have most likely allowed him to have it two years ago. The therapist and things would have at most been a few month deal if done thought he courts. Also does he not already have visitation ordered by the original court, if that has not been legally modified those visits are still valid, and he can take her back to court to make her obey them.
With Joint custody he should be having the child 1/2 of the time,

He has been far to nice and has allowed the ex too much power , he never should have been so nice but should have used the courts from day one two years ago.

[excon]

Hello reppie:

It sounds like you've got a reasonable mother to work with. That's good. Although she may not be happy, if she can be convinced that a court would ORDER reasonable visitation, then she might agree to it BEFORE you fight it out in court.

Because, fighting it out in court will cost you both LOADS of money. I mean LOADS that I'm sure neither of you can afford. Given the facts in your case, I'd bet the court would order regular ex-husband type of visitation, which would be every other weekend with an overnight during the week.

I would negotiate it THROUGH the therapist if she's willing.

excon

[macksmom]

Since it has been 2 years of building the relationship back up, if your husband went to court he would probably go right to a regular visitation schedule. Had he gone straight to the courts when he contacted the mother 2 years ago, the courts would have ordered a graduated visitation schedule due to his 4 year absence, pretty much what they are doing through the therapist. Since that is done, and a father-child relationship has been re-established, I don't see why the courts would order anything other than a regular visitation schedule.

[talaniman]

Why not just take this slowly and amicably. I don't know why he CHOSE to wait four years, nor do I care, but to rush the process now, would be to soothe his own ego, and may alienate the mother, who must be agreeable and not holding grudges. What does the therapist say? I would trust her/his, judgement over your husbands, given his past decisions. Don't be so quick with this court stuff.

[s_cianci]

The fact that you've all sought therapy will weigh in your husband's favor. In all likelihood the judge would order supervised visitation initially, probably 1 or 2 hours a week and gradually phasing in a more liberal visitation schedule.

[Anna24]

I have the same question except that I'm the ex and I'm trying to sue my ex husband for being absence in 3yr.

[cdad]

Why not just take this slowly and amicably. I don't know why he CHOSE to wait four years, nor do I care, but to rush the process now, would be to soothe his own ego, and may alienate the mother, who must be agreeable and not holding grudges. What does the therapist say? I would trust her/his, judgement over your husbands, given his past decisions. Don't be so quick with this court stuff.

I believe this to be wrong. You should proceed with things though the courts now and if you live close enough you might be able to get custody on a joint 50/50 basis. You have already waited 2 years. If the mother wants to keep playing games let her explain it to a judge. You seem to have bent over backwards and the mother just wants to remain in control.