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    crystal0007's Avatar
    crystal0007 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 28, 2013, 01:10 AM
    How to change my husband
    My husband has an habit of going to prostitute. So how to change that habit now a days he also started an affair with a girl. How to get back him from all this. How to change him. How he will turn to my side. Please Please Please help me :( :(
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #2

    Aug 28, 2013, 02:20 AM
    We don't 'change' people according to some formula. We know nothing about your husband and what his thinking is. If he won't sit down with you and tell you why your sex life isn't good for him and how you can work together to have a better one, then you need to leave and divorce him before you get a disease, and for your happiness.
    crystal0007's Avatar
    crystal0007 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Aug 28, 2013, 03:53 AM
    Mine is love marriage its 2+yrs v got married and intialy it was fine. V moved to. US from India started initial n regular fights. In that fight he won't talk to me for 10days use to sleep in hall that days Basically he is good and use to care me after going to us our problem started. I went to vaction for India for 3months den when I returned to my surprise he told me he been to prostitute strips clubs. Now after 3months test results came fine no adids now. He been to trip with his girl friend when I asked he is telling just friend not more than that. N also says he still love me bla bla stpres. What I should do. I still love him.
    1q
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #4

    Aug 28, 2013, 04:03 AM
    You file for divorce if he wlll not stop, there is no way to make him stop if he wants to do this
    crystal0007's Avatar
    crystal0007 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Aug 28, 2013, 04:08 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
    You file for divorce if he wlll not stop, there is no way to make him stop if he wants to do this
    But I want to make him realize its not the correct. How can I do?
    I want to try from My side before breaking up the relation.
    I want to make him know my value. The love which we have. We use to have. I don't him to spoil his life too.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #6

    Aug 28, 2013, 04:16 AM
    You went home for three months? That's a long time.. apparently he felt abandoned, and that you didn't love him as much as you claim. I would feel unloved too. But I wouldn't go to prostitutes and get a girlfriend. Something must have sent him over the edge - you tell us!

    You can't make him realize it's not correct. He knows it isn't. That doesn't stop millions of other people from cheating either. I don't think you are telling us the whole story.
    crystal0007's Avatar
    crystal0007 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Aug 28, 2013, 04:28 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    You went home for three months? That's a long time.. apparently he felt abandoned, and that you didn't love him as much as you claim. I would feel unloved too. But I wouldn't go to prostitutes and get a girlfriend. Something must have sent him over the edge - you tell us!

    You can't make him realize it's not correct. He knows it isn't. That doesn't stop millions of other people from cheating either. I don't think you are telling us the whole story.

    As I told you initially we use to have fight for nt cooking food. Getting ready late etc. for that silly fights he use to sleep in the hall. I use to sleep in bed room. If I go and sleep beside him he use to go to bed room and lockit and sleep he use to do this for 1 week to 10days and won't talk or give response to my words. When I came to india he didn't spoke to me when I was sick he never spoke to me or cared me. Later when he thought he will get aids then he called me requested me told so many sorry ask me to cme back etc. now he is maintaing a gal frd. This is the complete story
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #8

    Aug 28, 2013, 04:44 AM
    He is controlling you like Pavlov's dog. You can not change him. People are creatures of habit and it sounds like he doesn't even know what love is.
    crystal0007's Avatar
    crystal0007 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Aug 28, 2013, 04:52 AM
    Before marriage also he been to prostitute for 3times as of my knowledge
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #10

    Aug 28, 2013, 05:00 AM
    I see you as two people who can't communicate at all!
    You won't cook? You are always late? He won't sleep next to you?
    Those are all petty little things a couple talks out and resolves.
    You want him to value you, but you have to be valuable. You aren't if you won't negotiate and compromise and instead leave the country.
    He likes prostitutes and did before you were married.
    This marriage can't be saved.
    crystal0007's Avatar
    crystal0007 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    Aug 28, 2013, 05:08 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    I see you as two people who can't communicate at all!
    You won't cook? You are always late? He won't sleep next to you?
    Those are all petty little things a couple talks out and resolves.
    You want him to value you, but you have to be valuable. You aren't if you won't negotiate and compromise and instead leave the country.
    He likes prostitutes and did before you were married.
    This marriage can't be saved.

    I just went for break to my country. Its not wrong in that everyone does the same going for vacation. My husband has ego and he won't bend or compromise in the small things also after I resigned my job in india I have been there he never use to give me money. But instead he use to take money from me till I resign my job. I want to talk to him but he never talks he never open up. If I call him and ask he vll just hang up da call.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #12

    Aug 28, 2013, 05:08 AM
    This is not a habit that can be broke. It is his way of life and he expects you as the submissive wife to just accept that he is a cheater. NOTHING you say or do will change him. He will only see you as a rebellious child.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #13

    Aug 28, 2013, 05:12 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by crystal0007 View Post
    I just went for break to my country. its not wrong in that everyone does the same going for vacation. My husband has ego and he wont bend or compromise in the small things also after i resigned my job in india i have been there he never use to give me money. but instead he use to take money from me till i resign my job. i want to talk to him but he never talks he never open up. if i call him n ask he vll just hang up da call.
    Then it sounds like there isn't one single reason to stay married to him. Everything is wrong with him. Why do you even say you love him? You can't love some 'image' of what you want him to be!
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #14

    Aug 28, 2013, 06:17 AM
    You said it yourself he will not bend or compromise.

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