[kittee]

My husband is boring, it gets very lonely though. I go out by myself or at couples events by myself because he won't. Some times we do but it is rare that we go out. I sacrifice to do things he likes but he rarely does this for me. I love him so much and we've been together for almost 7 years, no kids. I don't know what to do, because I know he will never change.

I have talked to him about this until I am blue in the face, even threaten to leave if he doesn't change. What should I do?

[smoothy]

You don't change someone else to suit what YOU want... try to change yourself to be more like him... that's no different, or any less reasonable.

Let me guess... you didn't date him for years before you got married? He's just being himself... and he always was like this more or less... you just didn't want to see it.

[ANGIE4124]

Looks like we have two different personalities; one a bit quiet/boring and the other more social and outgoing? In the beginning these opposite traits appealed and attracted you to one another… 7 years later, with no change in sight; this now makes you feel lonely and frustrated. With this, you express a desire for your husbands company; and it continues to fall on deaf ears! When you accommodate his likes it leaves you neglected in your needs. This I understand.

Now how do we change somebody when we are taught to accept people as they are? For me, I weigh up the pros and cons and dismiss the; opposites attract clichés; as that is pure myth! Just ask yourself; what is it that makes you stay and love him so much? What is your marital foundation built on? Does he have good values, is he kind and generous, does he support your long-term dreams, is he sensible with money and trustworthy, does he have a plan for both your future, and has he a good work ethic? These are just some of the things that really matter!

If that is the case, you have nothing to really worry about Kittie. Boring as it seems, these personality types are not entertainment officers and can be rigid to new ideas etc; although they do and can provide you with security… Besides someone has to mind the house while you are out enjoy yourself :)

As an after thought he could be naturally shy, not well educated or not feel confident enough outside his comfort zone, therefore he remains at home and keeps to a small number of friends?