Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    simpleguy123's Avatar
    simpleguy123 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jul 2, 2013, 01:56 PM
    Online, long distance, big age gap relationship...
    Hi, I am a 23 year old guy who has absolutely no luck in meeting girls. I haven't been on a date in over 4 years... I try to tell myself that I am focusing on my career but it can get really lonely. I am a shy person when it comes to meeting girls and I have no idea where to start but I want to have a nice girlfriend.

    A few months ago... I met this girl online. In this game I have met this girl and things just started to click. She was pretty and a nice person. We added each other on skype, exchanged pictures and messaged each other frequently. However, it turned that this girl is 16, lives 8 hours drive away. She told me she doesn't mind the age gap because to her age doesn't matter.

    I was really skeptical about this situation, as I have been in an online relationship once with a girl who was younger than me by 1 years and lives far away. We ended up meeting each other in person a few times and decided to be in a relationship. A year later she cheated on me and broke my heart.

    Anyway back to the current situation. This girl is giving me tons of mixed signals that I don't know how to interpretate. At first she is really interested in me and now it is just awkward silence when we talk on skype but she would still say hi to me. At first she seemed like she wanted to get involved with me but now it just appears that she is a little distant with me.

    The problem is... I now have some sort of feelings for her... even though she is so much younger, lives far away and it is only online. I honestly don't know what feelings these are and what to do and I can't stop thinking about her all day which is disrupting my work... I need advice to know what to do...
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
    Pets Expert
     
    #2

    Jul 2, 2013, 02:14 PM
    She's a child, you're an adult. Stay away from her.

    She's giving you mixed signals because she's a child. Teens don't date seriously, they date anyone that comes along. She probably found someone she can actually date, not someone she's never met. Still, you're a good distraction when she's bored, it just sounds like she's not as bored as she used to be.
    simpleguy123's Avatar
    simpleguy123 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #3

    Jul 2, 2013, 02:27 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Alty View Post
    She's a child, you're an adult. Stay away from her.

    She's giving you mixed signals because she's a child. Teens don't date seriously, they date anyone that comes along. She probably found someone she can actually date, not someone she's never met. Still, you're a good distraction when she's bored, it just sounds like she's not as bored as she used to be.
    That is a good point. Every time I ask her whatsup, she would say I'm bored... now she doesn't as much.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
    Pets Expert
     
    #4

    Jul 2, 2013, 02:35 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by simpleguy123 View Post
    That is a good point. everytime i ask her whatsup, she would say im bored.... now she doesnt as much.
    Because she's not bored anymore. You were a great distraction, now you're just someone she has to deal with.

    Cut all contact, and find someone your own age, someone you can have an actual relationship with.
    simpleguy123's Avatar
    simpleguy123 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #5

    Jul 2, 2013, 03:15 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Alty View Post
    Because she's not bored anymore. You were a great distraction, now you're just someone she has to deal with.

    Cut all contact, and find someone your own age, someone you can have an actual relationship with.
    Okay. I just can't believe how things got out of hand. Some part of me really liked her and she was really pretty. I guess a part of me knew it was never going to work out.

    How would you suggest that I go about finding someone my own age. I am an introvert, I don't socialize very much and a little bit shy. I know I should just try to go out more but it is so much easier said then done and I have been trying to meet someone for so long now...
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
    Pets Expert
     
    #6

    Jul 2, 2013, 03:29 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by simpleguy123 View Post
    Okay. I just can't believe how things got out of hand. Some part of me really liked her and she was really pretty. I guess a part of me knew it was never going to work out.

    How would you suggest that i go about finding someone my own age. I am an introvert, i dont socialize very much and a little bit shy. I know i should just try to go out more but it is so much easier said then done and I have been trying to meet someone for so long now...
    The part of you that should have never hoped for a relationship is the 23 year old. She's 16, a child! That alone should have been enough for you to realize you can't have a relationship with her, even if she's willing.

    Have you tried dating sites? It's okay to meet people online, as long as they're of age. Meeting people that are too young to date, and then pursuing them anyway, is wrong, not only legally but morally. Do you realize that?
    simpleguy123's Avatar
    simpleguy123 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #7

    Jul 2, 2013, 04:08 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Alty View Post
    The part of you that should have never hoped for a relationship is the 23 year old. She's 16, a child! That alone should have been enough for you to realize you can't have a relationship with her, even if she's willing.

    Have you tried dating sites? It's okay to meet people online, as long as they're of age. Meeting people that are too young to date, and then pursuing them anyway, is wrong, not only legally but morally. Do you realize that?
    I have realized that which is why I am confused with this entire situation and hesitating on what to do next. We actually met on an online game so it wasn't like I was intentionally going after a 16 year old. She just happened to be 16, We actually had a connection before we even knew each other's age. I'm still a little hung up on this situation but I know its time to move on...
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
    Pets Expert
     
    #8

    Jul 2, 2013, 04:14 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by simpleguy123 View Post
    I have realized that which is why i am confused with this entire situation and hesitating on what to do next. We actually met on an online game so it wasn't like I was intentionally going after a 16 year old. She just happened to be 16, We actually had a connection before we even knew each other's age. I'm still a little hung up on this situation but i know its time to move on...
    Once you found out she was 16, that's when contact should have ended, immediately.

    Read your post. You didn't post that you felt that you were wrong about dating a child, you posted that you felt she was slipping away.

    It's way past the time to move on. No matter how desperate you are for a relationship, it's never okay for an adult to be with a child, and that's what she is, for at least another 2 years. You need to realize that there are boundaries, and you have to follow them no matter how desperate you are.
    simpleguy123's Avatar
    simpleguy123 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #9

    Jul 2, 2013, 04:24 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Alty View Post
    Once you found out she was 16, that's when contact should have ended, immediately.

    Read your post. You didn't post that you felt that you were wrong about dating a child, you posted that you felt she was slipping away.

    It's way past the time to move on. No matter how desperate you are for a relationship, it's never okay for an adult to be with a child, and that's what she is, for at least another 2 years. You need to realize that there are boundaries, and you have to follow them no matter how desperate you are.
    Well it wasn't like I was trying to sleep with her or anything. I would never do that with an underage minor. We were just talking and trying to build a connection online. But even that is a little controversial.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
    Pets Expert
     
    #10

    Jul 2, 2013, 05:06 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by simpleguy123 View Post
    Well it wasn't like i was trying to sleep with her or anything. I would never do that with an underage minor. We were just talking and trying to build a connection online. But even that is a little controversial.
    It's not controversial, it's criminal in many States. You're an adult, she's a minor. Online communication when one person holds a position of authority over another (adult to child) where they're trying to build a relationship, which you stated you were trying to do, can land you in jail.

    Bottom line, you wanted to date her, and now you're upset because she's no longer interested.

    You need to figure out why you went after a child instead of trying to build a relationship with an adult like yourself.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

Is 3 yrs a big age gap ? [ 6 Answers ]

I met somelad tonight, he is really cute and bi, he knows I think he is. I told him and he said I was good looking but it was a shame I was 15 and he was 18. If I got to know him better do you think I would have a chance to get with him because he is really sweet and cute.

Is a 24yr age gap a big deal! [ 10 Answers ]

Hi, I am 23 and my boyfriend is 47 and I am pregnant with his child. Yes before people ask the pregnancy wasn't planned but we are happy and excited! My main problem is that even though me and my boyfriend love each other very much and we have been together for over 2 yrs, we don't have a problem...

Age gap too big? [ 31 Answers ]

I'm seeing this guy who is older then me. I'm 17 and he's 27, the age gap doesn't really bother me but I think it bothers him. On a few occasions he has said that he can't do it anymore, but then changes his mind and says he wants me and wants to make it work. My family don't know about him yet,...

I need opinions on a possible long distance relationship that started online [ 16 Answers ]

First of all... Hello everyone!! :p I haven't been around in awhile, and I hope that things are looking up for those that I used to see here. OK, I need some opinions and advice. In Nov. I started an online friendship with a guy that I met on a site that is owned by the company I work for. It...


View more questions Search