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little firefly · Mar 25, 2008, 04:24 PM

First of all... Hello everyone!! :p I haven't been around in awhile, and I hope that things are looking up for those that I used to see here.

OK, I need some opinions and advice. In Nov. I started an online friendship with a guy that I met on a site that is owned by the company I work for. It was just a friendship, nothing more. I was still trying to get over "whats his name" at that time, and couldn't even think of anyone else. :rolleyes:... Well, over the course of that time this new guy and I have discovered how much we really enjoy talking to each other. We had just started by e-mailing each other, but then we started chatting on IM with our webcams (nothing sexual, just a way to see each other). The past couple of weeks we've added phone conversations to the mix as well. We seem to have a good bit in common and every time we chat we never seem to run out of things to say. He's never said anything out of the way or in any way made me feel uncomfortable.

He lives a little over 400 miles from me which does bother me a bit, but I'm really willing to overlook that. He runs his own business from home, and travels some to be a vendor at various collector shows along the lower East coast. Next month he will be doing a show about 200 miles from me and he has asked if I would like to meet him there to help him out with the show (a way for me to make some extra money), and for us to be able to get to know each other in person.

Ok, so my question is... Should I go? Am I stupid for wanting to?. Give it to me straight... Good experiences and bad. Tell me if I should go for it or if I'm about to make the biggest mistake of my life... Hit me with all that you've got, because I'm trying to weigh the pros and cons here, and you guys have always been so upfront with me, and I really respect your opinions... I'm just still trying to deal with the fact that I'm actually able to feel anything for ANYONE after that last trainwreck of a relationship I went through!!

Chery · Mar 25, 2008, 04:37 PM

This is your choice dear.

If you don't go, you'll chastise yourself for missing out on a good possibility.
If you do go, you will either have a good time or bad - but it will at least give you the answer we cannot give you.

Life has no guarantees but one thing I do know, is that if you don't take a step, you go nowhere. If you stumble, you get up and try again - that's just the way with us humans.

Either way, you need reassurance and should give yourself a chance to experience all there is to experience since life is too short to just chat and email for the rest of your life - that's not really living it.

Again, it's your choice to make dear.

Good luck, and keep us posted.

friend4u178 · Mar 25, 2008, 06:18 PM

Hi Firefly
Nice to see you back :-)

I agree with Chery (again) , I think you should go but go not expecting anything. That way you have a clear mind and if you two hit it off great.

Slowly Slowly

TrueFaith · Mar 25, 2008, 06:35 PM

Hello :) well its up to you at the end of the day. I guess just take it slow and see how it goes

If you never try you'll never know. Don't let fear stop you in anything you do ;)

I'm in a LDR. It can work if you both want it to and you seem like an understanding women so I wouldn't worrie too much.

Regards

little firefly · Mar 25, 2008, 07:36 PM

Originally Posted by friend4u178

Hi Firefly
Nice to see you back :-)

I agree with Chery (again) , I think you should go but go not expecting anything. That way you have a clear mind and if you two hit it off great.

Slowly Slowly

Hey friend4u... I'm glad to be back... I have to spread some rep around so I couldn't rate you. I'm going to do just that. Go, but not expect, and take everything VERY SLOOWWLY, lol ;)

friend4u178 · Mar 25, 2008, 07:40 PM

Originally Posted by little firefly

Hey friend4u....I'm glad to be back...I have to spread some rep around so i couldn't rate you. I'm going to do just that. Go, but not expect, and take everything VERY SLOOWWLY, lol ;)

Good for you... don't forget to update us :-)

talaniman · Mar 26, 2008, 06:06 AM

The only way to really know someone well is face to face. I suspect you want to see if he has possibilities, but if your expectations are really high, I don't think that would be healthy. Life is about taking risks, and just because things didn't work well in the past, doesn't mean you shouldn't try again, SLOWLY, with eyes wide open. If nothing else it could be a great adventure. Something new and different to experience. Go for it, or you'll never know.

George_1950 · Mar 26, 2008, 06:15 AM

Good luck and I hate to just state the obvious, but let someone in your family know your exact whereabouts.

HistorianChick · Mar 26, 2008, 06:38 AM

Hi there, Firefly!

I know for a fact that you can become amazingly close with a person through conversation. Online relationships CAN work... so can long distance ones. There is a sense of safety in the fact that you can get to know a person before you meet, but you always have to keep your guard up... because there is that potential of being taken advantage of. It sounds like you are being very smart about all of this and taking it slow.

Before you even said that he was doing a show 200 miles from you I was going to suggest meeting him halfway. That way you both are not in your personal spaces - rather, you'd have decided upon a location and are both willing to take a step and meet halfway (literally and mentally).

I'd go... it sounds like you and this guy have potential - and you'll never know until you take that step of faith. Like George said, make sure your family knows where you are, where you're staying, and when you're leaving, but that's just safety - and I'm sure you already know that.

All I can say is GOOD LUCK, hon! You deserve it! I'm SO happy for you!

talaniman · Mar 26, 2008, 06:44 AM

The last two posters are so right, as things may sound good over the net, but we can never know. So check things out first, and put your own safety above anything else.

mafiaangel180 · Mar 26, 2008, 06:49 AM

Have you thought about how you would handle the distance if you do hit it off?

Chery · Mar 26, 2008, 05:20 PM

Hi Mafiaanngel.. how have you been?
Isn't it just like you to think ahead, and yes, we all should. But there is a factor there that computers and variables don't possess, we humans also work with emotions and hope.

George.. where and how have you been? We females have always been one step ahead, but let you think you can manage on your own. Even when you are babies, we let you think you can do things on your own (while chewing our nails and pretending you thought of it all by yourself) and give you that proud look and tell you how great you are doing (you don't always notice the sigh of relief we issue at the fact that we were scared you'd fall or worse).

Firefly.. there are always snags in life. It depends on how we accept and cope with them that counts. And you are covered in the 'safety' department because there is evidence of the emails and backup on your family knowing your intentions. So, you don't learn how to swim unless you get in the water. There are always risks from the minute we are born, but it does not stop us from being brave and daring - that's part of the excitement of life and we would be nowhere if we did not take a risk or two in our lives. I'm sure he has good intentions, and it could wind up just friendship, or could be more, then the both of you can plan on the next steps according to the goals you both want. But again, that's in the future, and too early to worry about.

Again, dear, it is your choice to make - just keep us posted... I like happy endings to a good story, and hope that this chapter in your life give you this opportunity with all my heart.

mafiaangel180 · Mar 27, 2008, 06:12 AM

Originally Posted by Chery

Hi Mafiaanngel.. how have you been?
Isn't it just like you to think ahead, and yes, we all should. But there is a factor there that computers and variables don't possess, we humans also work with emotions and hope.

Hey Chery! I'm good, hope you are doing well! I definitely agree with you! I only raised the question, so in case she does fall in love with him, she has a plan of action. :)

George_1950 · Mar 27, 2008, 06:27 AM

Hmm: "a plan of action" You are letting the cat out of the bag, at least for some of us. (Having to spread it around, angel)

mafiaangel180 · Mar 27, 2008, 07:27 AM

Originally Posted by George_1950

Hmm: "a plan of action" You are letting the cat out of the bag, at least for some of us. (Having to spread it around, angel)

I let the cat out of the bag huh? Hehehe, sorry about that ;)

talaniman · Mar 27, 2008, 07:30 AM

What cat?
What bag?
What plan?
What?

tracer357 · Mar 29, 2008, 03:06 PM

I would say no do not go.
He has plenty of time to come and see you why should you have to be the one that has to travel and see him you don't know him that well.
Make him come and see you first and see if he is the man that you want to spend time with.
Travel that far and to come to find out that he's married or gay or a pervert.
You are taking a big chance and the way things are going on around this country anymore I would put a little more thought to this one.
Just because it sounds good don't make it good.