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    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #41

    Sep 4, 2012, 03:37 PM
    I have to spread the rep Craven, but very well said.

    I am female, obviously, and my husband is male, obviously. If I'm in the mood and want to get my husband there, all I have to do is flash him. Actually, I don't even need to do that. I just have to say "You wanna?", and he's there. But, if he's in the mood and wants to get me there, it's a lot more work. Clean the kitchen, get the kids bathed and put to bed, take the dogs for a walk so they're not howling at the door when we're in the heat of the moment (don't suggest letting the dogs in the room, they sit at the end of the bed and watch, and even though I'm very easy going, it's like letting your kids watch, and it's just wrong), shower, brush your teeth, and then seduce me. Poor guy, it's a wonder that he every gets any love at all.

    Men and women are wired differently. For men porn isn't cheating, it's visual stimulation. Yes, it's a turn on, just like reading a sexy romance novel is a turn on for most women. If you're never watched a chick flick, or read a romance novel, and got turned on, then you can preach. But I'd bet money that you don't only get turned on by the man you're dating. You fantasize, you dream. Well, that's your porn. If a guy told you you had to give that up or he'd dump you, wouldn't you wonder why?

    I have to ask lavender aka Cocoa puffs (sue me, all the good cereal names are taken), do you masturbate? Have you ever? If you say no, you're either a liar, or a nun.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #42

    Sep 4, 2012, 03:39 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by lovemelavender View Post
    It's called setting standards and having morals. There's a fine line between that and "rules" in a relationship. It should be a mutal agreement between the couple.
    Well good luck finding a guy that agrees that porn is evil and agrees to let you dictate what he can and cannot watch or do.

    Maybe you should find a girl instead. Many girls will agree with you about porn, just look at this site. But guys... not so much.
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    lovemelavender Posts: 8, Reputation: -1
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    #43

    Sep 4, 2012, 03:40 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by CravenMorhead View Post
    Froot Loops,



    You should understand the person you're dating/marrying. Know that a man and a woman are different. They have different arousal methods. They perceive the world differently. What you might see might be completely different to a man.

    Think of how you get aroused. Think of what it takes. The gently kisses, the feelings of security, of love, and closeness. Think of all the complex emotions that are required. Now here is how a boy gets aroused. Boobs. There. Done.

    A lot of romantic movies and romance novels play on the female arousal cycle just as porn works on the male arousal path. Understanding the difference and how that works is vital to know what to expect. Considering this are you willing to give up all that sparks your oven? That is what you're asking him to do.

    The poster need to realize what is going on here. Then she needs to decide what is going on.
    Since I only took the time to skim through most of what you said - being as you said the same biased things as everyone else - I'm not going to attempt to call you out on every little aspect of your posts.

    However, I'm going to take this into Biblical terms. Don't know how many of you readers are or are not believers, but the Bible plainly states that a man that lusts in his heart has already cheated on his woman.

    I'd say whipping it out and jerking off to porn stars is lusting upon the heart, ergo cheating.

    Call it normal, call it perfectly fine, call it what you will. I've said my piece and I didn't come here to argue with armatures. I simply came to give this girl some GOOD advice.

    Any replies will be a waste of your time because I'll be paying them no attention.


    Have a good day all. :)
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #44

    Sep 4, 2012, 03:42 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by smoothy View Post
    Shouldn't HAVE to be anything....he's got the right to make his own decisions without consulting her first and agreeing to anything. That's a right that comes with being an adult, and a LOT of things aren't subject to a vote, they just are automatically..

    PARTICULARLY as a single man.....I am a MARRIED man and I don't have to get "permission" from anyone.

    Buying a car....that's something that needs an accord...what I am going to do on my computer.....is NOT one of them.

    And a wife has far more rights to even express their opinion than a girlfriend does. Not that either is a Queen that must be obeyed, because they aren't.

    Otherwise you don't have a relationship...you have a power struggle.
    I have to spread the rep. Well said.

    If my husband bought a new car, or anything big, without consulting me, I'd be mad, as I'd expect him to be mad if I did the same.

    But, unless I'm cheating on him, he has no right to dictate what I do to get myself off. I don't cheat, but I do take care of my own needs. He's not always around, so should I have to sit here frustrated because he can't be here 24/7 to make sure I'm sexually satisfied? Should I expect him to sit around frustrated when I'm not around, or not in the mood?

    That's ridiculous!
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #45

    Sep 4, 2012, 03:43 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by lovemelavender View Post
    Since I only took the time to skim through most of what you said - being as you said the same biased things as everyone else - I'm not going to attempt to call you out on every little aspect of your posts.

    However, I'm going to take this into Biblical terms. Don't know how many of you readers are or are not believers, but the Bible plainly states that a man that lusts in his heart has already cheated on his woman.

    I'd say whipping it out and jerking off to porn stars is lusting upon the heart, ergo cheating.

    Call it normal, call it perfectly fine, call it what you will. I've said my piece and I didn't come here to argue with armatures. I simply came to give this girl some GOOD advice.

    Any replies will be a waste of your time because I'll be paying them no attention.


    Have a good day all. :)
    Like we really thought you were even open to ANYTHING but your very narrow minded perspective on life.

    Don't be whining when you are alone or with a world class dork that lacks any testosterone. Because no normal or real man would put up with that mindset.

    And don't bring the Bible into it... men had multiple wives and a whole lot of sex going on or they wouldn't have had the huge families. Not the very narrow sliver of time that was called the Victorian period where you were supposed to believe sex was a bad thing.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #46

    Sep 4, 2012, 03:44 PM
    However, I'm going to take this into Biblical terms. Don't know how many of you readers are or are not believers, but the Bible plainly states that a man that lusts in his heart has already cheated on his woman.
    This is a worldwide site. We have people of every religious belief, and of every non religious belief known to man, on this site. If you want to preach about the bible, go to the religious forum. This is the Adult sexuality forum, and there's no place for your God here.
    lovemelavender's Avatar
    lovemelavender Posts: 8, Reputation: -1
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    #47

    Sep 4, 2012, 03:47 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Alty View Post
    I have to spread the rep Craven, but very well said.

    I am female, obviously, and my husband is male, obviously. If I'm in the mood and want to get my husband there, all I have to do is flash him. Actually, I don't even need to do that. I just have to say "You wanna?", and he's there. But, if he's in the mood and wants to get me there, it's a lot more work. Clean the kitchen, get the kids bathed and put to bed, take the dogs for a walk so they're not howling at the door when we're in the heat of the moment (don't suggest letting the dogs in the room, they sit at the end of the bed and watch, and even though I'm very easy going, it's like letting your kids watch, and it's just wrong), shower, brush your teeth, and then seduce me. Poor guy, it's a wonder that he every gets any love at all.

    Men and women are wired differently. For men porn isn't cheating, it's visual stimulation. Yes, it's a turn on, just like reading a sexy romance novel is a turn on for most women. If you're never watched a chick flick, or read a romance novel, and got turned on, then you can preach. But I'd bet money that you don't only get turned on by the man you're dating. You fantasize, you dream. Well, that's your porn. If a guy told you you had to give that up or he'd dump you, wouldn't you wonder why?

    I have to ask lavender aka Cocoa puffs (sue me, all the good cereal names are taken), do you masturbate? Have you ever? If you say no, you're either a liar, or a nun.
    I'm not sure if I should be flattered or creeped out that everyone is referring to me as such tasty names. And since we've resulted to this, Cupcakes, my personal life and what I do is quite frankly none of your business.
    CravenMorhead's Avatar
    CravenMorhead Posts: 4,532, Reputation: 1065
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    #48

    Sep 4, 2012, 03:48 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by lovemelavender View Post

    However, I'm going to take this into Biblical terms. Don't know how many of you readers are or are not believers, but the Bible plainly states that a man that lusts in his heart has already cheated on his woman.
    I knew it! *sigh*

    Your cross to bear. Don't quote bible at me. Bible doesn't know human nature, behaviour, or psychology. I am not going to go into this aspect of it because it doesn't have a place here.

    You have your right to believe what you want. It doesn't apply to everyone. Remember that.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #49

    Sep 4, 2012, 03:51 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by CravenMorhead View Post
    I knew it! *sigh*

    Your cross to bear. Don't quote bible at me. Bible doesn't know human nature, behaviour, or psychology. I am not going to go into this aspect of it because it doesn't have a place here.

    You have your right to believe what you want. It doesn't apply to everyone. Remember that.
    Doesn't explain the fact that 10 or 12 kids from ONE woman wasn't uncommon back then either, sometimes more. Most of their post puberty life was pregnant and/or nursing a small child.

    There was only one immaculate conception after all. They probably had a lot more sex going on because they didn't have TV back then. But they DID have porn and they had it well before recorded history began.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #50

    Sep 4, 2012, 03:52 PM
    Religion is out of place on this Board - good conversation with a religious board.

    When all else fails, thump the Bible.

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