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    gatriel's Avatar
    gatriel Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jul 16, 2012, 08:17 AM
    Girlfriend raped before we met.
    Hey All --

    Long story short (so you guys actually read it) before we met my ex was beaten and raped by her previous boyfriend. We start dating ~ 6 months later and it was the best relationship of both our lives, then I trigger her Rape Trauma Syndrome (a form of PTSD) and she loses her mind.

    All the feelings she had for her attacker she associated with me. Fast forward quite a while we broke up, we've been broken up twice as longer than we were together. I still dream about the girl every night like things were before she went nuts. I cannot get her out of my head even though I know I need to move on. Any advice?
    NDE PTSD's Avatar
    NDE PTSD Posts: 14, Reputation: 1
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    #2

    Jul 21, 2012, 08:46 PM
    I have PTSD. Was her ex prosecuted for his crimes? Fight or flight is the response to a triggered event. If during our trauma we fought or we curled into a ball we will react 80% of the time in that same survival mode because it saved our life. Some people claim PTSD when in fact they have a mental illness such as bipolar or other issues. If you love her than get the police report and find out what happened and go to a professional to get a PTSD or mental diagnoses with her. It's the rest of your life and you choose how to live it.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Jul 21, 2012, 10:06 PM
    How old are you both? It may be a long time before she can handle herself, and that's if she gets closure and the proper help.

    Its pretty much what you will face as this has to be a disturbing and tramatic experience for you. Yes leave her alone, but find someone older, and wiser to talk to and guide you through your own healing process.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #4

    Jul 22, 2012, 05:42 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by gatriel View Post
    Hey All --

    Long story short (so you guys actually read it) before we met my ex was beaten and raped by her previous bf. We start dating ~ 6 months later and it was the best relationship of both our lives, then I trigger her Rape Trauma Syndrome (a form of PTSD) and she loses her mind.

    All the feelings she had for her attacker she associated with me. Fast forward quite a while we broke up, we've been broken up twice as longer than we were together. I still dream about the girl every night like things were before she went nuts. I cannot get her out of my head even though I know I need to move on. Any advice?

    I'm an adult victim of rape - your girlfriend didn't go "nuts." She is suffering from Rape Trauma Syndrome/PTSD. You have just managed to insult everyone who ever had a shocking event that affected him/her deeply.

    I find your lack of compassion to be shocking.

    She is better off if you move on and she finds someone more understanding.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #5

    Jul 22, 2012, 09:05 AM
    Is she getting any professional counseling
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