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-   -   Girlfriend raped before we met. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=683369)

  • Jul 16, 2012, 08:17 AM
    gatriel
    Girlfriend raped before we met.
    Hey All --

    Long story short (so you guys actually read it) before we met my ex was beaten and raped by her previous boyfriend. We start dating ~ 6 months later and it was the best relationship of both our lives, then I trigger her Rape Trauma Syndrome (a form of PTSD) and she loses her mind.

    All the feelings she had for her attacker she associated with me. Fast forward quite a while we broke up, we've been broken up twice as longer than we were together. I still dream about the girl every night like things were before she went nuts. I cannot get her out of my head even though I know I need to move on. Any advice?
  • Jul 21, 2012, 08:46 PM
    NDE PTSD
    I have PTSD. Was her ex prosecuted for his crimes? Fight or flight is the response to a triggered event. If during our trauma we fought or we curled into a ball we will react 80% of the time in that same survival mode because it saved our life. Some people claim PTSD when in fact they have a mental illness such as bipolar or other issues. If you love her than get the police report and find out what happened and go to a professional to get a PTSD or mental diagnoses with her. It's the rest of your life and you choose how to live it.
  • Jul 21, 2012, 10:06 PM
    talaniman
    How old are you both? It may be a long time before she can handle herself, and that's if she gets closure and the proper help.

    Its pretty much what you will face as this has to be a disturbing and tramatic experience for you. Yes leave her alone, but find someone older, and wiser to talk to and guide you through your own healing process.
  • Jul 22, 2012, 05:42 AM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by gatriel View Post
    Hey All --

    Long story short (so you guys actually read it) before we met my ex was beaten and raped by her previous bf. We start dating ~ 6 months later and it was the best relationship of both our lives, then I trigger her Rape Trauma Syndrome (a form of PTSD) and she loses her mind.

    All the feelings she had for her attacker she associated with me. Fast forward quite a while we broke up, we've been broken up twice as longer than we were together. I still dream about the girl every night like things were before she went nuts. I cannot get her out of my head even though I know I need to move on. Any advice?


    I'm an adult victim of rape - your girlfriend didn't go "nuts." She is suffering from Rape Trauma Syndrome/PTSD. You have just managed to insult everyone who ever had a shocking event that affected him/her deeply.

    I find your lack of compassion to be shocking.

    She is better off if you move on and she finds someone more understanding.
  • Jul 22, 2012, 09:05 AM
    Fr_Chuck
    Is she getting any professional counseling

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