[luvmyboyz]

My son is 3 and his biological father began paying child support in October of 2008. He saw the child inconsistantly from 8mos old until 14mos old. Since then he has by his own choice not had contact with the child and in the last week has made it clear that he has no intention of ever trying to see him and wants to sign away his rights. After almost 2.5yrs of no attempted contact will he be able to sign away his rights? He has stated that if a judge stipulates that he still has to pay support that he will not go through with it. I know the bottom line is what is best for the child. My opinion is that no matter whether a parent can take care of the child without the child support or not... that many could always be of benefit to the child in some way. Raising children is not cheap. Whether he signs away his rights or not he has no intention of being a parent. What is the chance of being relieved of his rights and still be forced to pay child support?

[excon]

What is the chance of being relieved of his rights and still be forced to pay child support?

Hello luv:

He can't sign away his rights.

excon

[Fr_Chuck]

No, he is just day dreaming or lying, he can not just sign away his rights, I assume you are going after child support and taking him back to court if he does not pay.

And even if there were reasons to take away most of his rights, he will still have to pay child support.

The only way is if you want it , and you are remarried, and the new husband wants to adopt, then he can sign over his rights, so husband can adopt.
** he will not have to pay any future child support but would still owe any support he is behind

[ScottGem]

There is a sticky note at the top of the Family Law forum (I moved your post here from the Children forum) that deals with this question. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...st-116098.html

A parent cannot just sign away their rights. I don't really understand where some parents get the idea that they can. Only a court can issue a TPR and courts are very reluctant to do so. They will never issue a TPR to allow a parent to get out of paying support. So you can tell the father that will never happen. You can tell him to check that sticky I referred to if he wants. If he does not want to be a part of his child's life, that is his choice and you can't force him to be. But you can force him to financially support that child.

[luvmyboyz]

Thank you everyone. I don't see the point in him signing away his rights when he by choice is not in the picture anyway. Seems like a waste of time and money to me. I have researched so much on the Texas laws pertaining to this and have tried to warn him it could be waste of his time. He wants my husband to adopt my son so that he will be off the hook on child support. The emotional part of me just wants to say fine. OK. Then the rational part comes in reminding me of my own thoughts as a child who's father wasn't around. I was angry that my stepdad wouldn't adopt me. As a young adult however, I had the chance to hash things out with my father and we have slowly been building a relationship since. I guess what I am driving at is that I do not want to take my son's father from him. No, he doesn't know him at all, but maybe some day he will want to. On the flip side of that is my husband who my son by his own choice calls Daddy. He has raised him since he was 5mos old. They are very close. Advice?

[excon]

maybe some day he will want to.

Helo again, luv:

Good choice... Leave the door open... Who knows how the future will turn out?

excon

[ScottGem]

You wouldn't be taking your son's father from him, but if your husband adopts, that will relieve him of his support obligation.

Frankly, I don't envy you the position you are in. On one hand having your husband adopt will affirm his relationship with the person who is raising him. It cements your family. On the other hand, there could be resentment on your son's part in the future if he perceives that you came between him and his bio father.

But I vote for the adoption. You can tell the bio father that you and your husband are willing to go through with the adoption, under two conditions; first, that he write a letter to his son that you will give him when he's old enough to understand it that will explain why he decided to no be a part of his life and second that he foot the bill for the adoption.

[luvmyboyz]

For the first time I have a sense of peace in knowing that someone out there understands and respects my concerns. I just want to say once more... Thank you. Believe it or not I may not have much respect for my ex, but I do not have resentment either. I think I actually feel sorry for him at times. It is he that is missing out in my opinion. Not my son. The highlight of my son's day today was talking to Daddy on the phone and telling him he had caught a lizard all by himself and that he can't wait to see the new rig. My husband is a geologist and teaches the little man about rocks and such. He even learned how a microscope works. Its days like this that remind me how hard I fought to keep both of us alive during pregnancy. I can think back now and know I was right to follow my heart and not have the abortion my ex pushed for, or to give my baby up. Thank you guys for sharing your input and bless you!

[ScottGem]

I think I actually feel sorry for him at times. It is he that is missing out in my opinion. Not my son.

Exactly! Raising a child can be the hardest thing in the world, but it can also be the most rewarding. The look on a child's face when you they are happy is one of the most precious in the world.

From what you said about the highlight of his day reinforces my belief that you should go for the adoption. I think your son will understand the difference between his "real" father (the one who raised him) and the one that just contributed to his birth.