[amicon]

Stop the game playing and think with your head, not other parts of your body!!

[jbots10]

Stop the game playing and think with your head, not other parts of your body!!!

That's the thing though, I have never been the type of person to think like that. I have only kissed and or touched two girls, ever. Both of which I was dating.


Right now I'm having a battle between my head, and my heart. Logicly I know what I should do, but the emotional heart side of it is telling me to not let her go.


Is it the weirdest feeling ever.

[jbots10]

To add to all of what I have said before, yesterday she began asking me why it seems she can't keep friends. I thought about because I didn't want to insult her but at the same time I wanted a truthful answer. I told her that she really didn't know who she was yet and that's why she is doing this to me. She wants to get a tatto, a belly piercing and this really got her thinking I suppose.

If she doesn't know who she is, how could she ever know if I am what she wants. I want to say something to her that would really make her think, like a single text message that upon reading may open her eyes, weither it be for me or another guy.


But I'm starting to see that possible all along this never had anything to do with me. Maybe it was just all her growing up trying to find her own.


Now that I think back, she was abusive. I can recall times when she would kick things in my car. Pinch, kick, hit and emotionally hurt me to the point of either blood or tears. Was never willing to sit down and just talk about things, and never had a willingness to just listen.


Along with that the last two times we had sex, it wasn't the same. Yes, the first time we kissed and what not, but just the other night it was just sex. No cuddling before hand, no kissing.

It was just sex...

[Homegirl 50]

This young lady has issues she needs help with but not from you.
She is a user. Why she does what she does, says to you what she says is immaterial. The fact is she treats you like crap.
Maybe your saying "no more" and going NC with her for good will be the catalyst for her to work on herself.
You need to be rid of her and she needs to grow up.

[jbots10]

I feel as though this will be my final text to her.

"(Name), I realize realtionships get stale after awhile and they take work,but either you love me or you dont. But you better decide which it is because I'm not waiting for you to figure your self out any more. If you want out then walk. Say you need space and time, then take all the space and time you need, but im going to start getting on with my life, with or with out you. Yes, i do love you and even in love with you, BUT this emotional roller coaster needs to end. I can not be friends, there are too many emotions there."

[Homegirl 50]

Don't tell her it needs to end, tell her it has ended. You are still giving her openings and opportunities. She will just waltz back in and do the same thing over again,
You are either done or you're not.

[jbots10]

Don't tell her it needs to end, tell her it has ended. You are still giving her openings and opportunities. She will just waltz back in and do the same thing over again,
You are either done or you're not.

That's the thing though, is I want to give her this option to see if maybe possible she comes around, maybe not now. But eventually.


Am I ignorant for thinking such?

[amicon]

Not ignorant but clinging to false hope.

One short text-your behaviour is not acceptable.

Then do NC proper.

Forever.

[Homegirl 50]

Not ignorant but this girl is not going to change with you. You keep leaving her options and openings, she has no reason to.
You need to close the door and go NC

[jbots10]

She responded to the text with, "dont tell me to walk away. yer not hot ****."



Ok..

[amicon]

Every relationship is a learning experience.
Learn through this that you respect yourself and that any other person treating you like rubbish is not acceptable.

No contact-100% no contact will allow the confusion to subside so you'll come to realise what a toxic mess this has been.

No contact,for you and your healing.

[talaniman]

GUY TALK/Harshness warning

Dude, you don't dump someone who needs dumping and giving them a chance to screw with your head some more, by saying what you want to hear, and string your a$$ along even further.

Say what you mean, and mean what you say, and this is the text you should send before you disappear, and become totally unavailable.

It was a great ride while it lasted, and thanks for the memories. Wish you well without me.

She isn't the problem, its you half stepping, and being wishy washy. Ignorance has nothing to do with it.

[jbots10]

What I want is realisitc and harsh advice.

Im not really understanding you talaniman..


Elaborate?

[talaniman]

If you were not so busy trying to get the love from a female who doesn't want to give it, you could walk away and be done with this drama, and do much better for yourself.

Then you wouldn't be stuck on someone that's not as stuck on you.

Then you would not make her a priority, while she keeps you as an option.

Then you would stop wasting time and energy, trying to make a brick house, out of cardboard.

Then you would stop trying to change a snake into a guard dog.

Get my drift? She is a lousy choice for a girl friend, and staying stuck will bite you in the butt. AGAIN!!

[jbots10]

If you were not so busy trying to get the love from a female who doesn't want to give it, you could walk away and be done with this drama, and do much better for yourself.

Then you wouldn't be stuck on someone thats not as stuck on you.

Then you would not make her a priority, while she keeps you as an option.

Then you would stop wasting time and energy, trying to make a brick house, out of cardboard.

Then you would stop trying to change a snake into a guard dog.

Get my drift? She is a lousy choice for a girl friend, and staying stuck will bite you in the butt. AGAIN!!!

Haha. Thanks for the clairification, and I see your point. You know as well as I do in this situation that it is a hard thing to do. Although I find myself more and more everyday not wanting to talk to her, not wanting to deal with her **** and not missing the **** I hated about her. I do have moments in which I am sad and miss her and wish she was around back to normal. If I had the choice, I don't want to see her or I walk away but in a sense she kind of already has I suppose... Im not a player, I'm going away to school in 17 days, and really being there together with her would mean a lot. There is something about her I love, but then again she has been abusive and has hurt me more times then I can count, both physically and emotionaly.


She has lied countless times, caught talking to guys, giving out her number and in constent communication with her ex's. In January when she wanted a break I found out she chilled with 2 of her ex's during the time frame of one week.


There's the goods which I loved, and the bads in which I hate and sexually, we were just so comfortable with each other and that's hard to give up... Never been this comfortable with a girl.

[talaniman]

she has been abusive and has hurt me more times then I can count, both physically and emotionaly.

Once would be enough for most. Without her you will see many more chances that will be much better for you.

[jbots10]

So I'm sitting at work, bored thinking.


I feel as though the only reason I am with her is because.

-Shes beautiful
-Two different people(Bi-Polar?)
-Sex
-Memorys

[jbots10]

So I have not texted her since I sent that text earlier today.

Wouldn't you know she is blowing up my phone right now. This is hard for me. I want to know I'm doing the right thing...

[talaniman]

Yes you are. Hang in there fellow, and block her if you can. This is a chance to get your balls back! Real men don't compromise dignity and self respect for a piece of tail. Especially if the cost is being abused repeatedly like a piece of crap.that ain't love brother, and certainly not healthy.

That's why you have no friends, or a life you enjoy without her.

[jbots10]

Update: She showed up at my house... and we went out to dinner... Why... how can I keep giving in like this... not to mention she showed up crying.