This posters threads were merged and edited/T

First off I will apologize in advanced for this being so long, just going to provide all details so you guys(gals) may be able to give me some helpful advice.

A little back ground info to start things off. I am 21, she is 18. We are both attending the same college come fall, and have been together for a little over a year and a half. We would spend every day together and she relied on me for almost everything. Shortly before Xmas we began fighting a lot. Back in January she said she wanted a break and then a week later we were back together. Ever since then it has been different and we both knew it but still pushed through.


Currently, it has been 3 weeks since all this started. It actually began 2 weeks previous to that when I began my new job. I was around less and she began chilling with this one friend all the time who honestly is a $lut. Those 2 weeks she began to become distant and more worried about the friend then spending time with me. This goes on for 2 weeks and then a Saturday comes which is her grad party. That morning I show up and I try and talk to her about how I'm feeling and how we have been and she wasn't having it. During her party she had her mom pull me aside and told me to leave. The rest of that day I heard nothing from her, but earlier in the day her friend that she was hanging out with told me that she just wanted me to be her best friend. I wasn't having it and told her that I couldn't be friends and I think that's was pushed her to make her mom tell me to leave. Sunday comes and I once again try contacting her and she just says "leave me alone, I need space." That night she sees me out and walks up to me, pulls me away form a group of people and asks why I'm with them... The rest of that week she was distant and short with me. Really didn't text me, until Friday. She texted me when I was at work and told me she wanted to chill that night. So I agree. She comes over and she lays in my bed and one thing leads to another and we have sex. She then proceeded to leave shortly after and the rest of the weekend I barely heard from her.

That following Tuesday we had to go to orientation together at college. She texts me that morning and asked if I was there and I say yes and then I don't hear from her the rest of the day until lunch time at which point she told me to meet her for lunch and sit with her parents. I denied. That night upon returning home she asked me to chill and we went out to dinner and once leaving the restaurant she found a ring in my car that I asked for back the day of her graduation when she told me to leave and she said she wanted it back and to wear it. Confusing...

The rest of that week I once again barely hear from her but she started doing a trend. Every night if I didn't text her she would start texting me wondering where I was and would eventually start calling at 1 am asking what I was doing.. This goes on for awhile and still does if I don't text her.

We are now at July 30th. Well this weekend she went away with her family. Wouldn't you know Friday night she texts me and calls me again, telling me "Dont cheat on me, all my ex's have when I have been away this weekend in the past, I love you."... Saturday night I get this, "I wish you were here with me watching fire works." Both nights she was texting me wondering what I was doing and where I was as well.

This brings us into this week. Monday I finally grow some balls and tell her I can't do this any more and that I'm throwing away her ****. She then responds and begs and pleads that she loves me and that she doesn't want her stuff thrown away so she comes over. She gets her stuff and we chill but nothing happens, we barely talk and when I try to see just blows it off. Tuesday once again I try and talk to her and find out she lied about having to go home so early Monday night and about working Tuesday and it leads to me once again telling her to get out of my life. She shows up at my house unexpectedly. I leave what I was doing with my friends and once I get home she says she can't do this and that I'm mean and leaves. I go to get into my car to go back out and she gets emotional and tells me not to go out. So I don't. Wednesday comes around and nothing, and then Thursday. I start by texting her in the morning that I wanted to see her Thursday night and she says something smart and short. I start texting her all day, with no response. That night I keep calling her and eventually she answers but has her mom answer and I just hang up. Since this point I still have not heard from her and it is currently Friday. I haven't texted her since 8 Thursday night and I have no idea what to do...


Since we she "befriended" me, she removed me from Facebook, but I have been able to still see what she has been doing because, unfortunately I have been on her email. So between this and friends of mine telling me what she is doing on Facebook and I have a pretty good idea what she's been doing and she has been going out with this $lutty friend since she's been done with me and when that friend is not around she's different and actually talks to me.


I love this girl and everything about her. I'm not a guy who plays games and I never have. I don't know what to do, how to act. Alls I know is I really want her back.

I feel like all this has to do with the fact that she spent all her time with me and now once I started working she realized what it was like being independent and now this... I want to do something but i feel by ignoring her she will forget me and just go further away..

I will take any and all advice into consideration... Thanks, Justin.

I understand you're hurting-this girl is ,however playing games with you and your heart.

Don't let her.

Be strong and walk away;end the confusion by going no contact and have nothing more to do with her.

Yes, it's painful now, but if you allow her to keep on treating you this way, it'll be painful for a lot longer.

I'm actually going to post a new thread with more details. This was very confusing and put together quickly while I was at work. Hopefully you guys can have some insight for me.

Damn Homie why are you letting this girl run you around in circles? Sounds like she wants to be single but keep you around as a safety net just in case she can't find someone better. Dude go out have fun and forget about her.

Don't start a new thread-keep any additional information on this thread.

Sorry guy, she would rather run around and have fun with her slutty friends than sit home and watch TV with you, but she will call when she has nothing else to do and its quite foolish of you to put up with this behavior.

Keep your dignity and self respect, and disappear from her life, and start doing your own thing without her.

She still hasn't managed to talk to me since giving the phone away to her mom yesterday. I haven't texted her either since last night. I just some how want to know what she's doing, who she is with. This is awful...

I saw her friends fb and it doesn't say anything about my ex. How long realistically will it take if at all before she makes contact with me. I miss her...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Sorry guy, she would rather run around and have fun with her slutty friends than sit home and watch TV with you, but she will call when she has nothing else to do and its quite foolish of you to put up with this behavior.

Keep your dignity and self respect, and disappear from her life, and start doing your own thing without her.

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(Out of reps! ;-) )

Re-read!!

So a little update, she began texting me and calling me at 5 am this morning saying she needed to tell me something important. I didn't answer.

Good!

Next time switch your phine off before going to bed.

She has taken you back and thrown you away repeatedly. This "I have something important to say" thing is just more of the same. You can politely text her that it is over and ask that she stop contacting you.

What I honestly think is that she's out with her mischievous friend doing unfaithful things. She thinks it's all right to fool around with other guys because you two are technically broken up. When these things don't work out, she still wants to be with you as a back up plan. She feels guilty about going out with other guys so she contacts you asking what you're doing all the time because she's worried that you're experimenting too.

I'm just guessing all of that but I'm sure you've considered that too because you classified her friend as "$lutty." When you even have to worry about things like that, you know it's over. You knew it was over after the first "break," where she probably tried to experiment a little more but failed and used you as a back up. Don't make her your priority when you're her back up. It's over.

So I had a mutual friend contact her today,and he sent me what she said back and it was something along the lines that she was pissed I didn't answer her this morning and that she wanted to talk to me. So I eventually texted her saying something along the lines of "I love you,i want to talk to you, but you want space and im not going to be your friend theres too much there."... I was looking at pics of her lately and I don't feel the same when I see her, yes if I have nothing to do I will get pretty sad. But I realized I don't know if its so much as me missing her? Or is it the fact that I'm being territorial and don't want to think of her with another guy with him doing what I did for the past year and a half. Im not a player so me going out and hooking up with some girl is something I won't do..

There are all kinds of feelings involved here, and that's why its important to sort them out, and deal with them without any of her games, and attitude.

Leave her alone and stop playing games yourself, with YOUR own feelings. Stop Facebook stalking, and sending messages through friends, and stop looking stupid with those "I love you and can't be friends" crap.

Disappear, let her be pissed, and keep your dignity and self respect.

What the **** is she doing... So last night, she says she wants to chill and for the first time in a month she slept over, this morning we woke up cuddling and ended up having sex and now she just left and said she wants to chill today... How am I suppose to make a decision when she keeps doing this. I love the girl but something doesn't seem to be adding up.

She's playing you and you're letting her.
Bow out of this toxic soap opera and go no contact.

HARSHNESS WARNING

You are her booty call boy toy, to be used for her amusement when she has time for you.

Its not a question of what's she is doing, every one but YOU knows that. The question now is why you let her do it? You are clearly stuck on someone that's not as stuck on you, and that makes you fair game, and a very easy target for whatever game she plays.

Don't even blame her, she is a predator and a user, blame yourself for not being able to see the truth, and knowing what to do about it. That's sad, since you have been told.

No more talk of confusion over what she is doing or why, just accept it, as you would a snake bites, because that's what they do. A user uses.

What you thought she feels the same way you feel? OBVIOUSLY NOT, or you would be a happy healthy couple enjoying the best of each other and giving the best. She know what she is doing, and what she wants, and its not the same as what you want, and its amazing YOU are confused, and she ISN'T.

Now be a good boy toy, hump buddy, while it lasts because after she has chilled, back to her being too busy.

WHY CAN"T YOU SEE THAT???

You are a booty call!
She does to you what you let her do.
Grow a pair and tell her to get lost. Don't have any more contact with her at all. This girl is playing you like an old fiddle

Im starting to see what you guys are saying, its just so hard for me to sit back and realize it. I find out that the friend she would normally be chilling with is in NYC... I was with her all day and now that I realize it when I tried to act like a boyfriend she kind of moved away, but as soon as I stepped away to take a call she came running over to see what I was doing and asked who it was..

She is playing with you. Leave her alone.
Put her down and don't pick her back up again.

Talaniman.

Everything you have said thus far has in some parts been true. I do as though feel like I am an option or a safe "****" when she needs it which has been like every 2 weeks since things started getting weird. The day yesterday was awkward as I said earlier, but at one point something did feel as though it clicked, I guess you could say? Last night I did NC until she called me and once she started she didn't stop until I finally answerd her and was very short. I figured the semi good day and then all of a sudden I don't have the urge to talk to her she might get a little confused on what I'm doing since she has been the one all along who has been the one doing this.


Im just in such a terrible position right now, alls she kept saying to people yesterday was "im excited were going to college together...blah blah blah." My friend texted me saying he found another girl for me and somehow she saw this and got quite upset. I found out she has been semi stalking my Facebook because she said something and she wouldn't have known that unless she looked.


What does this girl want... It seems like she almost wants to be with me, but at the same time is having too much fun being single.


Like people have said she wants her cake and wants to eat it too. She's having the fun of the single life, but has me for that added securuity when she "needs it."



Im so mind ****ed right now... I would love to be completely back together with her... but right now I'm trying to figure out the best way for that to happen...