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ball2010 · Jun 29, 2010, 04:00 PM

I am a 31yr old lesbian, I have become extremely attracted to a straight co-worker and friend of mine. She has admitted to having a sexual experience with a woman years ago, we work out and hang out a lot I've even spent the night with her more than once. I can't stop thinking about if I should make a move, but I don't want to ruin the friendship either. What should I do?

Cat1864 · Jun 29, 2010, 04:18 PM

Is she currently in a relationship?

Does your work place have any rules against co-workers dating?

Does she know you are a lesbian?

If she isn't in a relationship (or just getting out of one, no sense setting yourself up as a re-bound) and there would be no issues with the work place, talk to her.

If you knew she was open to a relationship, would you still be worried about the friendship? Which would you treasure more: the romantic relationship or the friendship? Would her saying 'no' affect the friendship in a lasting negative way?

Homegirl 50 · Jun 29, 2010, 04:21 PM

Originally Posted by Cat1864

Is she currently in a relationship?

Does your work place have any rules against co-workers dating?

Does she know you are a lesbian?

If she isn't in a relationship (or just getting out of one, no sense setting yourself up as a re-bound) and there would be no issues with the work place, talk to her.

If you knew she was open to a relationship, would you still be worried about the friendship? Which would you treasure more: the romantic relationship or the friendship? Would her saying 'no' affect the friendship in a lasting negative way?

Good questions Cat1864. Have to spread some rep.

ball2010 · Jun 29, 2010, 04:29 PM

She isn't in a relationship however she is definitely looking for one. I am just ending a relationship she absolutely knows Im a lesbian the irony is that my ex hated her and always thought something was up between us.

Homegirl 50 · Jun 29, 2010, 04:33 PM

If you are just ending a relationship, getting with this woman is not the time or thing to do at this point.
How long was your previous relationship?

ball2010 · Jun 29, 2010, 04:33 PM

If you knew she was open to a relationship, would you still be worried about the friendship? Which would you treasure more: the romantic relationship or the friendship? Would her saying 'no' affect the friendship in a lasting negative way?

No I wouldn't be worried at all! She is perfect girlfriend material for anyone (man/woman) I think. I would definitely cherish the relationship more and I wouldn't be hurt if she turned me down I just wouldn't want her to look at me different.

ball2010 · Jun 29, 2010, 04:37 PM

It has been 6mos since my last relationship. My heart is open I've been cool with dating but this woman is my ideal match... I would hate for her to slip away if I actually have a chance, on the other hand I just want to know how can find out if she intersted at all withou hurting our friendship??

Homegirl 50 · Jun 29, 2010, 04:40 PM

Is this other person completely out of the picture?
As I see it, you are both adults.
Ask her if she is interested and if not, you would not want the friendship jeopardized.

Cat1864 · Jun 29, 2010, 06:20 PM

Talk to her about relationships and how you think you are ready to start dating again.

If she has been single longer than you have, she could be waiting for a sign that you are back on the market.

On the other hand, she may see you as a sister or extremely close friend.

You won't know unless you open that particular door.