I am a 31yr old lesbian, I have become extremely attracted to a straight co-worker and friend of mine. She has admitted to having a sexual experience with a woman years ago, we work out and hang out a lot I've even spent the night with her more than once. I can't stop thinking about if I should make a move, but I don't want to ruin the friendship either. What should I do?

Is she currently in a relationship?

Does your work place have any rules against co-workers dating?

Does she know you are a lesbian?

If she isn't in a relationship (or just getting out of one, no sense setting yourself up as a re-bound) and there would be no issues with the work place, talk to her.

If you knew she was open to a relationship, would you still be worried about the friendship? Which would you treasure more: the romantic relationship or the friendship? Would her saying 'no' affect the friendship in a lasting negative way?

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Originally Posted by Cat1864

Is she currently in a relationship?

Does your work place have any rules against co-workers dating?

Does she know you are a lesbian?

If she isn't in a relationship (or just getting out of one, no sense setting yourself up as a re-bound) and there would be no issues with the work place, talk to her.

If you knew she was open to a relationship, would you still be worried about the friendship? Which would you treasure more: the romantic relationship or the friendship? Would her saying 'no' affect the friendship in a lasting negative way?

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Good questions Cat1864. Have to spread some rep.

She isn't in a relationship however she is definitely looking for one. I am just ending a relationship she absolutely knows Im a lesbian the irony is that my ex hated her and always thought something was up between us.

If you are just ending a relationship, getting with this woman is not the time or thing to do at this point.
How long was your previous relationship?

If you knew she was open to a relationship, would you still be worried about the friendship? Which would you treasure more: the romantic relationship or the friendship? Would her saying 'no' affect the friendship in a lasting negative way?


No I wouldn't be worried at all! She is perfect girlfriend material for anyone (man/woman) I think. I would definitely cherish the relationship more and I wouldn't be hurt if she turned me down I just wouldn't want her to look at me different.

It has been 6mos since my last relationship. My heart is open I've been cool with dating but this woman is my ideal match... I would hate for her to slip away if I actually have a chance, on the other hand I just want to know how can find out if she intersted at all withou hurting our friendship??

Is this other person completely out of the picture?
As I see it, you are both adults.
Ask her if she is interested and if not, you would not want the friendship jeopardized.

Talk to her about relationships and how you think you are ready to start dating again.

If she has been single longer than you have, she could be waiting for a sign that you are back on the market.

On the other hand, she may see you as a sister or extremely close friend.

You won't know unless you open that particular door.