[Sdmage]

Edited for understanding

Ok so I'm 18 and I have a relationship with my girlfriend for about 4 years. I've been razed by my grandmother because my father left me when I was 3 and went to the friends country and my mother left me when I was 6 to come to the USA.

When I was 11 went to live with my father but I returned to my birthplace when I was 13 because it didn't go that well. My mother had a child in the USA so my grandmother had to travel and leave me to live by myself when I was about 14.

So then I meet her... We were always together and talked about everything and never run out of topic. She helped me when I lived by myself and she always stand by myself and never did anything stupid. I had an affair witch was very stupid of me and it was probably because I was younger, but we went along that together. Me and her parent get along great! When I mean great I mean that they were treating my as I was their child.

Everything went down when my mother decided to take me in the USA. She always thought of me as her son who will be committed with and live with her all her life. But I simply cannot stand the fact that she thinks she is always right (even when she is not) and the fact that she plans my future the way she wants it and not even bother to ask me what I want. Also she thinks that by buying me stuff I will be happy and she is keeping me as her financial slave, and because of her I can't even find a job.

Anyway we don't communicate that much with her. By the time I was here me and my girlfriend had a long distance relationship without any problems. It was only 6 mouths though. She came in the USA as a international student and my mother wanted her to live with us. And so she did, and as you can imagine they didn't get along at all. My girlfriend was depressed and didn't do anything. She was sleeping all day long, she didn't eat, she didn't do her best at collage and she talked only with me. It was terrible and I was trying to make her feel better by letting her have what she wants to eat by doing some of the things that she has to do.

However in the eyes of my mother it looks like I'm her slave and I do what she wants and that she is lazy and bad student and so many stuff that I can't even list. I talked with her but and told her everything but she looks at it at her own way. She thinks that my girlfriend is going to make me move from home which will happen eventually even if my girlfriend was not in the USA and that she is going to dump me as soon as she finds someone better.

I tried to convince my mother that it's not true but she thinks that she is always right. So my girlfriend just went to hotel 2 days ago. And she is going to leave the country and return for the next semester and rent an apartment. We are still together and I go to her hotel every day and we spend time together. When I return though my mother begins talking how stupid my girlfriend is and how she didn't respect anything because she didn't do anything... So my nerves are going crazy and I don't know what to do.

I always have a solution to my problems but this time I need help because I don't even have any friend in the USA because of my mother. So please tell me who is right and who is wrong and what should I do. I love my girlfriend and she loves me and that's not just some kid talk but it's really love she is my best friend too. So please help me out.


Also sorry for writing so incompetent but I have lived in the USA for a little more than an year plus I'm writing fro
My Ipod Touch because my mother will see what I have written on the computer

[talaniman]

Get a job, so you can be independent of your mother. You may not agree with her, but my guess is she cares, and maybe trying to make up for lost time. Understand that having a job, and better yet, an education will increase your options to control your own life, and then you can love your mom from afar, and do as you please after visiting her.

With a job you can help your girlfriend and maybe live together as you work for each other.

[roxypox]

Well said Tal!

Yes, you should get a job and work on being independent. I'm sorry to hear about your life story. It seems that you have had a rough life! And it's understandable that your girlfriend and you are close when she and her family have takne care of you and been a family to you!

So getting a job and sharing an appt. with her in the fall seems to be your best bet for gaining independence from your mom! (just that she'll see this on a computer makes me think it's a good idea to go and live together with your GF)

If you get a job this summer you might even be able to save up some money for the fall and sharing expences with your GF will make it easier economicly for the both of you!

Best of luck!

Roxy

[Sdmage]

Thank you very much. I was thinkig of this, but I wasn't sure if it's right. I really don't want to break my mother's heart but it's my future that I have to take care of. Thank you very much, and I will write what happened after everithing is over.

[roxypox]

I'm glad you found the support and advice you needed.

I fully understand that you don't want to break you mothers heart, espcially since you have a frigile history together, but you are absolutely right! This is your future we're talking about and your life

Best of luck!