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    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
    Uber Member
     
    #121

    Sep 12, 2009, 06:37 AM

    Yes bella-some days suck!tomorrow s another day though and I think you ve been doing really well!
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #122

    Sep 12, 2009, 07:29 AM
    If they are getting married in a church, there is no reason for you not to attend the church ceremony.

    It is not closed to the public when a marriage is taking place, unless things have recently changed.

    You can go and watch them get married, which is the important part, without an invite.
    Jennyjones's Avatar
    Jennyjones Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #123

    Oct 10, 2009, 03:12 AM
    Wow bella thank you so much for all of this! I'm 3 days out of a 2year relatioship and I feel empowered by your post! I went through the same motions as you - feeling sick, couldn't eat, crying all the time, bargining with myself if I had done things differently we'd still be together, checking his Facebook all the time, checking my phone for texts all the time, always thinking of him, sometimes talking about him as though he was still my boyfriend, understanding why we broke up and that it wasn't a healthy reltonship, working out how much of a loser he was to me for the last 2 months of the reltionship, he also 'couldn't sleep' with me in the bed and was a selfish loser for the last 6 months - except my ex was really immature I was his first relationship and he didn't know how to treat women. Understanding that I deserve better! Keeping NC for 3 weeks - until exams are over then we might talk, realising who my true friends are, as I had a lot of mutual friends with him. I'm now looking in better shape then ever and have the whole summer ahead of me to really get those heads turning, I am going to be strong and gorgeous when I next see him. I feel like a massive weight is off my shoulders and even though I think about him still and get sad about "not waking up in his arms" and all those lame romantic things, I know there is an absolute sweetheart out there somewhere, waiting for me, who is going to cherish me with all of their heart! And there is someone out there for you too bella, I just know it!
    And thank-you so much again for all your fantastic posts and everyone else's support! It has helped me more than you would ever believe and I know it would help others too! U must be doing so well by now! All the best!
    bella99's Avatar
    bella99 Posts: 150, Reputation: 37
    Junior Member
     
    #124

    Nov 5, 2009, 08:10 PM

    Hey Jenny,

    I'm SOO glad that my posts helped you! I am doing a lot better now. After he was a jack a$$ in August it made it so easy for me to justnot want to talk to him anymore. He just wasn't the guy Iknew anymore. Then he started dating someone knew and it hurt but helped me a lot to just move on. I was hanging out with another guy this passed month - but he was kind of flaky and had his own break up problems to deal with.

    I actually ran into my ex last night for the first time since my last post. One of my friends warned me he would be out with his girlfriend wher we were going but I said I'd go anyway. Said hi to him he gave me a hug asked how I was doing - chatted for a bit then I went on my way. Saw him later in the night too - it was all civil. Feelings come rushing back but not nearly as bad (and his girlfriend stood him up which kind of made me happy hahahahahha).

    So today I kind of missed him - NOTHING like before - but I know there are plenty of better men out there! Best thing to do is get in shape - go to the gym and be healthy and good looking for all those other guys - be happy with who you are before dating someone else so you know you are being treated right.

    If you ever need any help - def send me a message! GOOD LUCK!
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #125

    Nov 5, 2009, 08:30 PM

    Good that you got that one over with, Bella.

    Rock on... No missing, yes.

    Get reaquainted with yourself & what is important when it comes to guys & what you want.

    Ya know what's helped for me is to live in the moment. Not too far in the past or future. Break down those feelings when they enter. Am I digging this moment? Why not? "Oh yeah"

    Good luck.

    Van

    Probably cause of BS...



    Van
    friend4u178's Avatar
    friend4u178 Posts: 3,349, Reputation: 1584
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    #126

    Nov 5, 2009, 08:49 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by bella99 View Post
    Best thing to do is get in shape - go to the gym and be healthy and good looking for all those other guys -
    Glad your doing so well Bella , and what you said above is so true.


    Time may heal all wounds but a steady daily routine makes a really good bandage.
    paxe's Avatar
    paxe Posts: 793, Reputation: 158
    Senior Member
     
    #127

    Nov 5, 2009, 10:21 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by bella99 View Post
    but I know there are plenty of better men out there! Best thing to do is get in shape - go to the gym and be healthy and good looking for all those other guys - be happy with who you are before dating someone else so you know you are being treated right.
    Yea! There is still good men out there like me! Wait... no, I'm not available, I'm planning to stay single... sorry girls :( .
    bella99's Avatar
    bella99 Posts: 150, Reputation: 37
    Junior Member
     
    #128

    Nov 6, 2009, 08:35 AM

    So this is totally random -but my ex JUST sent me a text - he is apparently golfing with my boss today. How random is that? (they aren't close friends or anything) I think he just was still on the mailing list for the golf tourny from when we were going out - and now he is on my boss's foursome.

    Talk about random!
    jmw0713's Avatar
    jmw0713 Posts: 1,012, Reputation: 305
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    #129

    Nov 6, 2009, 09:30 AM

    Don't fall into the trap!! I did and it was NOT fun!
    bella99's Avatar
    bella99 Posts: 150, Reputation: 37
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    #130

    Nov 6, 2009, 09:31 AM

    I'm not golfing with him - and I have no hopes of hanging out with him either - he is already dating someone else. I just thought it was random he decided to go golf with my boss.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #131

    Nov 6, 2009, 10:14 AM

    Yup-strange but that's life. Good to know you're OK again.
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #132

    Nov 6, 2009, 11:50 AM

    Who cares, let him.
    bella99's Avatar
    bella99 Posts: 150, Reputation: 37
    Junior Member
     
    #133

    Nov 16, 2009, 08:28 AM

    I hate those days where you just randomly feel kind of lonely. I'm sure everyone has them - that's my day today. No real good reason for it, and I know better by now, but just can't get rid of the feeling.

    I know there are lots of great guys out there that I have yet to meet, and believe me, I'm not in any rush. Just today is kind blah. The fact that today is Monday probably isn't helping.
    paxe's Avatar
    paxe Posts: 793, Reputation: 158
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    #134

    Nov 16, 2009, 09:01 AM

    Be strong. It happens to the best of us. It's more than normal. I usually go to the gym during these days and then I feel better, or I call all my friends and see which one is available for a walk in town.

    Another point, you shouldn't look for someone because you are lonely. You need to be able to feel great alone before you date.
    bella99's Avatar
    bella99 Posts: 150, Reputation: 37
    Junior Member
     
    #135

    Nov 16, 2009, 09:17 AM

    You I'm not looking for anyone currently - someone comes along they do. It's just one of those mondays where I don't feel like doing anything productive, and blah.

    I have work all day and class all night, so can't do anything fun today :( I think that is contributing to the way I feel. So much to do in the next few weeks (I have work, 2 grad classes and I'm moving), just not enough time for fun. Today would be a great day for a hike.
    paxe's Avatar
    paxe Posts: 793, Reputation: 158
    Senior Member
     
    #136

    Nov 16, 2009, 12:48 PM

    I know what you mean lol, I have time where I'm down also when I have too much work. I try to go to the gym though at least for 1 hour, so that I feel better in myself.

    Here's a hint: plan a trip but in the far future, you'll see your day will go much better.
    bella99's Avatar
    bella99 Posts: 150, Reputation: 37
    Junior Member
     
    #137

    Dec 22, 2009, 03:08 PM

    I hope everyone has a great holiday! Thanks for all of your help this year!

    I'm doing pretty well right now - tiny ups and downs but nothing like a few months ago, so thank you all for your help.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
    Uber Member
     
    #138

    Dec 22, 2009, 11:47 PM

    Good news Bella!
    Happy Holidays to you !
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
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    #139

    Dec 22, 2009, 11:50 PM

    Glad to hear it.
    Cheers, Bella.
    Same to you.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #140

    Dec 23, 2009, 06:27 AM

    Just in time to enjoy the holifay season.

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