[JustLaw]

Thank you. I don't feel very strong, I feel very alone.

[amicon]

Can you talk to some friends?
And make plans to do something this evening so you're not on your own?

[JustLaw]

I have my two girls this evening. When I am out I feel like men are staring at me. I am not vain, it's nothing like that at all... it's just fear.

[jmjoseph]

Justlaw, How are things? Have you considered talking to your sister yet? I know you have mentioned feeling vulnerable while out. I would recommend maybe getting some mace or pepper spray for your purse. It will give you some sense of security. Make sure your kids can't get to it.

I have thought of you, and your situation. It is a terrible position he has put you in. But remember that things could always be worse. And time will make things better.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

[Cat1864]

At least, you aren't letting the fear cripple you. You are recognizing it for what it is and that will help.

All of this is still extremely new and you will settle back down, but it will take time. Try not to let what your Brother-in-law did cause you to question your judgment. You didn't make the bad choice. He did.

[JustLaw]

jmjoseph,

I went to a counselor yesterday so I have to get my mind together before I can do anything. It is a terrible position and I hate him for it. I still haven't heard from my boyfriend who will end up telling me I could have called at any tmie and he didn't call because he didn't want me to take anything he said the wrong way and be further hurt and I am starting to hate him for that.

[talaniman]

You have two separate issues before you

The sisters husband, and his unwanted behavior: She needs to know, ASAP!!

The boyfriend not being emotionally available to support you: He ain't got what you need, when you need it, so you don't need him. I wouldn't call him at all. Let him stew in his own juices, until YOU are ready to deal with it.

But you made a good move to go to counseling, for support, and guidance. That in itself should help you overcome your fear, with direct actions, and no excuses.

I think your sister will have to come to grips that you, and the kids, can't be put in situations like this, because of her jerk of a husband.

[JustLaw]

At least, you aren't letting the fear cripple you. You are recognizing it for what it is and that will help.

All of this is still extremely new and you will settle back down, but it will take time. Try not to let what your Brother-in-law did cause you to question your judgment. You didn't make the bad choice. He did.

Cat I know that and then I don't. For some reason I feel guilty despite having done nothing.

[talaniman]

Cat I know that and then I don't. For some reason I feel guilty despite having done nothing.

Shock, and confusion generally follow traumatic events.

[JustLaw]

Shock, and confusion generally follow traumatic events.

There is a lot of that going on. I know this all is going to take time. I haven't called the boyfriend, I can't. I can't ask him why he isn't there to get some lame answer. But then on the other hand, it is killing me, breaking my heart. To me it's cold and cruel for any reason to distance himself like that, and it's hard not to feel that pain.

[jmjoseph]

There is a lot of that going on. I know this all is going to take time. I haven't called the boyfriend, I can't. I can't ask him why he isn't there to get some lame answer. But then on the other hand, it is killing me, breaking my heart. To me it's cold and cruel for any reason to distance himself like that, and it's hard not to feel that pain.

JustLaw, It's a shame that you're getting more support here, from strangers, than you are from your so called boyfriend. If I were you, I would break off all contact with him.

Somewhere out there, is a man that will treat you right, love you, support you, and make your life complete.

I wouldn't even give him the satisfaction of making up some lame a$$ excuse for not calling you, or being there for you at a time like this.

He's not a boyfriend. He's just some guy that uses you whenever he's in town.

The one good thing that has come out of this event that you've experienced, is that you've seen his true colors.

I wish you the best.

[JustLaw]

The assault happened one week ago today. Still in shock, still confused and I think I always will be. I'd like to kick the BIL in his what nots.

I am so used to talking to the BF every day... and now, nothing. Of course, he doesn't want to say the wrong thing, so I t's best to be distant... riiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

[I wish]

Yes! Stay as far away as possible. You're still in the early stages of recovering, so give yourself more time to heal. Try to avoid thinking about this situation. Keep yourself as occupied and distracted as much as possible so that you don't add to the confusion. Stay strong with your decision. We're always here to support you.

Be patient with yourself.

[JustLaw]

Sometimes I feel like I am over reacting with the whole thing. Like it could have been worse with the BIL and like the BF tried...

[talaniman]

Your not over reacting to your brother in law, his behavior was disgusting, but it was made worse by the reactions of your boyfriend, who you were tripping on because of his behavior. Its been a week since this happened, tell someone close to you before you start freaking out. Tell your mom, let her guide you. You don't have any close, really close, friends you trust?

[JustLaw]

Not overly close no.

[talaniman]

Call your sister, (first choice) or call your mom. Deal with this issue first, the boyfriend can wait. The longer you put this off, the longer it festers in your mind, and makes all other issues you have that much more harder to deal with.

[jmjoseph]

Sometimes I feel like I am over reacting with the whole thing. Like it could have been worse with the BIL and like the BF tried.....

Don't compromise your feelings. Your first reaction was spot on.

[JustLaw]

For any reason, it's bad that the boyfriend hasn't called, isn't it..

[talaniman]

Your looking for love, and support in the wrong places. He obviously isn't going to help you through this.

Not what you wanted to hear, I know, but seems to be a fact to deal with.