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Nestorian · Apr 27, 2009, 03:55 PM

Any time.

You sound like a great girl, so please remember that you have to look after that great girl, because you are the only one that knows, and understands that great girl, Ok?

He kind of does sound like he needs to talk to a counseler.

Peace and kindness

Gemini54 · Apr 27, 2009, 04:35 PM

I suggest that you may need to speak to someone else about him before you speak to him yourself. Just to get a sense of what to say and to help your confidence when you approach the issue with him.

As others have already said - there could be so many reasons for his behaviour. He could be insecure, depressed or even unsure about his sexuality.

You are both young and sound inexperienced. Best thing is to talk to someone about your concerns and don't blame yourself.

talaniman · Apr 27, 2009, 07:21 PM

I wouldn't be worried about the sex, I would be trying to figure out where the relationship is going. That's what the conversation should be about.

talaniman · Apr 28, 2009, 05:21 AM

Let me ask you what plans for the future are you looking into for yourself?

opheliacgirl23 · Jul 13, 2009, 04:11 PM

I have been with my boyfriend for over 1 year 8 months now, and we have not had sex yet. Whenever we try lately, he can't seem to get a full erection. This happens even if we are just 'fooling around', not trying to have sex. He claims he is enjoying himself, but I can't help feel like it is my fault that he can not get fully erect (I have low self confidence as it is), I feel unnatractive to him and like a rubbish girlfriend because I can't please him sexually. It has really gotten to me and now I don't want to try anything intimate in case it happens again. It has really upset me and I don't know what to do about it =[

Torrid13 · Jul 13, 2009, 04:15 PM

He might have erectile dysfunction, which has nothing to do with his attraction to you. I would suggest him going to see a doctor and see what they can do for him!

Torrid13 · Jul 13, 2009, 04:24 PM

Even younger men can have erectile dysfunction. I highly doubt it's you that can't make him fully erect... HIGHLY doubt it.

What does he say about it? He doesn't seem to blame it on you (which is fantastic), which kind of suggests he knows something's wrong.

I would talk to him about it, and suggest to him to see the doctor about it. No one wants to admit there is a problem with their "junk," but sooner or later it's going to really cause some issues. It clearly already bothers you.

It wouldn't hurt to try.

danielnoahsmommy · Jul 13, 2009, 04:34 PM

It's not your problem it is his

briancp34 · Jul 13, 2009, 04:55 PM

Torrid13 is very very right. It very doubtedly has anything to do with you. And Torrid13's suggestion is a major possibility. I have to ask though, and it's not that disrespect this at all, But why have you waited so long to have sex? Have you actually been waiting to get married? I actually think of that as very respectable. I had a problem similar to that once though. I had a girl friend once that I thought was beautiful, but we just never did anything sexual and went around and hung out together and you know, stuff. I was just always involved with someone else. We got along great. After a couple of years, the opportunity came up and I couldn't get it up. In that case I determined that I had just stopped seeing her as a sexual object, because my stuff worked fine. It really hurt her too.

opheliacgirl23 · Jul 13, 2009, 05:00 PM

We have not just started trying, we have been trying for a good year and a bit now...

briancp34 · Jul 13, 2009, 05:11 PM

In that case, I'll have to side with Torrid13. He needs to see a doctor.

Torrid13 · Jul 13, 2009, 05:26 PM

Yeah, if this has been an issue for that long, by all means, go see a doctor! Your boyfriend is just going to have to get over himself and go see what the deal is.

Let him know you support him going to the doctor, and that you don't think any less of him for having to do so. He might think that if there's an issue, you might think he's not "man enough" for you. So let him know you're there for support.

Good luck!

briancp34 · Jul 13, 2009, 05:52 PM

Everything Torrid13 has to say is true. Unfortunately something I have to tell you, when you suggest a doctor, conditions may get worse. His own self confidence may be bruised.

talaniman · Jul 13, 2009, 09:16 PM

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-...ct-299891.html

You have been going through this for some time, and either he is not interested in sex, or has a problem.

If he won't go to a doctor to see if he has a medical problem, and refuses to talk, then either you accept him for what he is, and forget sex, or leave him. This has gone on for far to long, for there to be no resolution. Tell him that.

Starry nights · Jul 14, 2009, 09:19 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-...ct-299891.html

You have been going thru this for some time, and either he is not interested in sex, or has a problem.

If he won't go to a doctor to see if he has a medical problem, and refuses to talk, then either you accept him for what he is, and forget sex, or leave him. This has gone on for far to long, for there to be no resolution. Tell him that.

Opheliacgirl,you surely do seem like a great and very loving,strong girl.Very patient,supportive with a caring heart.For someone who's been through quite a bit at this age,you don't need to get into a relationship where you and your partner have varying ideas of one of the most basic aspects of a relationship,i.e getting intimate.

Its quite clear your boyfriend loves you and is OK with the idea of not having sex yet you have been wanting to get intimate for the last one and a half years.For whatever reason,medical or otherwise,if your boyfriend isn't able to come to terms with your need to make love,I think gradually you'll be entering a zone where your priorities will be different.

So,think about it.Would you be able to carry on like this or do you think you would rather face him,have a conversation and take a decision.

Like someone said,you are a great girl and only you should take care of yourself.

All the best.Hope everything works out just the way you want.

opheliacgirl23 · Jul 14, 2009, 11:57 AM

Thank you everyone for all your help :) I will talk to him about why he doesn't want to get intimate/feel able to be intimate, whilst trying to not make him feel too uncomfortable about the situation. Depending on his answer, I will suggest a doctor.

I really am grateful for all your help (and your comments about me being strong and patient were very sweet, made me blush haha ^^)

Peace out =] x

Romefalls19 · Jul 14, 2009, 07:20 PM

Keep us informed about the progress as we always like to hear how the story ends

jdmlove · Dec 5, 2009, 09:15 PM

It sound like he is worry that he not the man u think he is