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Romefalls19 · May 21, 2009, 05:21 AM

Stay NC or risk your mind being more confused, personally I'd like to stop being kicked in the balls and would just ignore her.

jmw0713 · May 21, 2009, 06:46 AM

She is trying to alleviate her guilt from breaking up with you by attempting to see how you are handling things. She is trying to get a win-win situation for herself by working back into your life as a friend, when she knows all to well that you want more. Don't fall for that!

She is being very selfish right now and is only caring about herself. Why should she demand that you call when you dropped by? You didn't demand that she not break-up with you! She is trying to still hold a place in your life with out adding anything useful to it.

You are not a part of her life anymore! She needs to understand that choices come with consequences. She thinks that life works the way it does in movies, where everything is hunky-dory and the people live happily ever after. That's BS. You don't owe her anything. The only person you owe anything to is yourself. If you were that important to her, she should have thought about losing you from her life before she broke-up with you. Just think about that! It may make NC a little easier.

Wow... I need to heed my own advice! LOL!

Romefalls19 · May 21, 2009, 06:48 AM

Originally Posted by jmw0713

She is trying to alleviate her guilt from breaking up with you by attempting to see how you are handling things. She is trying to get a win-win situation for herself by working back into your life as a friend, when she knows all to well that you want more. Don't fall for that!

She is being very selfish right now and is only caring about herself. Why should she demand that you call when you dropped by?? You didn't demand that she not break-up with you! She is trying to still hold a place in your life with out adding anything useful to it.

You are not a part of her life anymore! She needs to understand that choices come with consequences. She thinks that life works the way it does in movies, where everything is hunky-dory and the people live happily ever after. That's BS. You don't owe her anything. The only person you owe anything to is yourself. If you were that important to her, she should have thought about loosing you from her life, before she broke-up with you. Just think about that! It may make NC a little easier.

Wow...I need to heed my own advice! LOL!

It's always easy to give advice from the outside, seldom do we follow it when we are involved.

ldanny · May 21, 2009, 09:41 PM

Shoot shoot shoot shoot... I responded to her call... we talked for a few minutes... then I got of the phone... someone shoot me... I CAN'T BELIEVE I BROKE NC!! I was doing so well...

ajGambino · May 21, 2009, 10:29 PM

Originally Posted by ldanny

shoot shoot shoot shoot .... i responded to her call... we talked for a few mins... then i got of the phone... someone shoot me.... I CAN'T BELIEVE I BROKE NC!!!!!!! I was doing so well...

It's OK man, there will be setbacks. You will learn from it, stay strong buddy, you can get through this.

taoplr · May 21, 2009, 11:19 PM

Originally Posted by ldanny

shoot shoot shoot shoot .... i responded to her call... we talked for a few mins... then i got of the phone... someone shoot me.... I CAN'T BELIEVE I BROKE NC!!!!!!! I was doing so well...

Give yourself a break. This is a great moment to let go of self judgment. Just get back into the saddle and relax.

ldanny · May 22, 2009, 12:04 AM

Thanks so much guys... I keep slipping... she wants to see me.. but I don't think it's a good idea... that will set me back more

myuz · May 22, 2009, 12:13 AM

Ing girls man, its ridiculous how they break your heart and then feel the need to call you every week to "see how your doing"

Like obviously we are OK, were not going to shoot ourselves or something over this. I have a close girl friend and she was telling me the same thing as some members have as to why girls do this. They haven't found anyone new yet, and they don't like being alone.

Danny its pretty frustrating though hey, like I almost find myself resentful now for her dumping me then trying to string me along like this in case. Like if you dump someone leave them alone , let them heal. Why make things worse on them by calling, texting, hanging out. Just gives your poor guys false hope...

myuz · May 22, 2009, 12:16 AM

So what did you guys talk about danny?

myuz · May 22, 2009, 12:21 AM

Maybe u need to tell her straight up, unless you want to be with me(assuming you want to be with her still) You need to stop contacting me and let me move on with my life. You are only making things harder on me. Im thinking myself of saying something like this to my ex.

ldanny · May 22, 2009, 10:58 AM

That's exactly what I want to say to her, don't contact me unless you want a relationship.

She asked me if I was ignoring her calls... I just told her I was busy and giving her the space she wanted... she wanted to know if I found someone.. we talked about her trip. And how she was trying to get a hold of me for a baseball game, and that she wanted to meet up because she miss me. She wants to meet up on Saturday but I told her to just call me. And she said, "pick up your phone."

I'm just so tired of this, I'm not a safety or anything.

Romefalls19 · May 22, 2009, 10:59 AM

Originally Posted by ldanny

i'm just so tired of this, im not a safety or anything.

Yea you are, and you're proving that.

STOP STANDING BEHIND THE HORSE and then complain about getting kicked

catch 22 · May 22, 2009, 11:17 AM

In a way this makes me thankful that my ex certainly hasn't had any issue with not talking to me at all. It hurts, but it would be even worse if she was calling and stringing me along.

For your own good you really need to suck it up and tell her you don't want to talk unless you are in a relationship. Talking to her, hanging out, letting her know that you're OK, are just ways for her to feel better about what she did.

Ren6 · May 22, 2009, 01:05 PM

She asked for no contact, but she wants to get together and hang out? That's messed up! Your conversations only leave you feeling worse than before.

It's clear that she's testing your limits. She has no doubt that you'll come running in case this thing with your buddy or whatever falls through. When you didn't respond, she felt that she lost her power, so she became more persistent with her texts and calls. Don't be her safety net, danny. Ignore her texts and calls and get yourself back again.

ldanny · May 22, 2009, 02:55 PM

You.. she is suppose to call me on Saturday.. I have no reason to explain myself to her... I don't like playing games with my emotions so, back to NC!! I was going 8 days. Reset. Lol

ldanny · May 22, 2009, 02:57 PM

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

Yea you are, and you're proving that.

STOP STANDING BEHIND THE HORSE and then complain about getting kicked

Its like playing with fire and complain when you get burnt :(

talaniman · May 22, 2009, 03:41 PM

its like playing with fire and complain when you get burnt :(

Or running into a brick wall, and wondering why your head hurts.

myuz · May 22, 2009, 08:31 PM

I understand why you anwer danny cause I'm in the same boat. There's that little part of you hoping she has changed her mind and maybe she's trying to get back with you.

susangpyp · May 22, 2009, 08:35 PM

She's talking out of both sides of her mouth... come here/go away.

You are the one who has to take control otherwise she is going to lead you around by the nose forever. Tell her NC. Period!

ldanny · May 22, 2009, 08:54 PM

You.. I'm going to tell her tomorrow when she calls... "if you want to see me because you just want to hang out.... please don't come." then NC