I think I really messed up! Not giving space.
So I have been with my girlfriend for about 6 years. But in the last year I lost my job and went back to school. Im 27 and my ex-gf is 24. She has always expected to be married by 24 but I still don't have my career and she already has hers. At the end of last year she started to get pressure from her family to get married, and then last month she got pressure again. And about two weeks ago, she asked to go on a break and give her space to think about things. Because our relationship has not been like she had pictured it and that it doesn't look like we are getting married anytime soon. And she doesn't know if she still loves me as a boyfriend anymore. The future she saw isn't too clear anymore. Everyone hurt her so much that she doesn't care about anything. That she is sad all the time. (I want to make her happy). She is moving out on her own next month.
I took it really hard and upset that someone that I loved so much could tell me she doesn't love me. Over the course of the next few days I texted, and left her messages. I expressed how sad and disappointed I was in how this all turned out. And she told me she still loves me, but not as a boyfriend. That got me more upset and told her not to say if she didn't mean it.
After I realized how selfish I was, I kept trying to call and contact her. I texted her when I was drunk and made this worst. We finally met up because I needed my stuff. We talked and she told me to look for a new girlfriend and forget about her, she wants me to start dating other girls. And we probably won't be getting back together and just let her be alone for the next few months. After we fell asleep watching TV. So I thought it would be nice to hold her. She let me hold her, but then she started to cry and said... "its over and you need to let go now." I told her "I know, but I love you and I will wait for you." I told her I know you still have feelings for me, otherwise you wouldn't be crying... she said "too litle too late." So don't ask me to marry you now, the answer would be "NO"
We left and I texted her, "I know you still love me deep down inside, and I will be here when you figure it out." and "Its not over."She responded with, "Yes it, don't txt or call me anymore."
I got really desperate and I messaged her friends to let her know that I love her and that I will marry her if she is ready...
I think I totally messed everything up... I should have given her space when she asked for it but its so hard to do. She is moving next month, and I offered to help her move but I don't know if I still should... Is it really over? 6 years gone because I didn't give her space? I turned a break to a break up... How can I be so stupid?
What can I do now to fix everything? Or is it too little too late?:(