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    sweethart24's Avatar
    sweethart24 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    May 10, 2009, 07:47 AM
    Likes oral but not intercourse
    My husband and I used to have sex although he suffers from ED, but in the past month, he has stopped touching me altogether even though he likes oral on a daily basis. I feel like he is no longer attracted to me and when I brought it up, he said it was because of the ED. We don't have health insurance and can't see a counselor or get a prescription. I feel very undesired and unwanted and don't know what to do.
    shazamataz's Avatar
    shazamataz Posts: 6,642, Reputation: 1244
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    #2

    May 10, 2009, 08:18 AM

    Personally I believe it isn't to do with you, it really is about the ED.

    There are quite a few free counselors available which I really think you should use.

    I'm sure someone could post some specific phone hotlines or counselors in your area :) (I don't live in US so don't know specifics)
    Xrayman's Avatar
    Xrayman Posts: 1,177, Reputation: 193
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    #3

    May 10, 2009, 04:30 PM

    he has stopped touching me altogether even though he likes oral on a daily basis.
    He likes to receive it or give it to you?? Be specific-please.

    Because that changes my answer for you completely depending on your response.
    sweethart24's Avatar
    sweethart24 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    May 10, 2009, 04:35 PM

    He likes to receive it. When I tried to talk to him about it, he said that we should just end our physical relationship altogether
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #5

    May 10, 2009, 06:05 PM

    So you save up your money and he goes to the doctor and buys some viagra, *** most health insurance does not pay for it anyway.
    bronzebabe's Avatar
    bronzebabe Posts: 333, Reputation: 62
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    #6

    May 10, 2009, 07:05 PM

    When confronted he is very embarrassed. Tell him that you Enjoy the sex part as well as he does. That you long for Him to do to you, what You do for Him. If he refuses, then you must decide if this is a marriage breaker or not. There IS free and reduce cost services out there. I know there are. Good luck.
    IWHO's Avatar
    IWHO Posts: 115, Reputation: 18
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    #7

    May 10, 2009, 07:19 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by sweethart24 View Post
    he likes to receive it. when i tried to talk to him about it, he said that we should just end our physical relationship altogether
    I am feeling a different vib here... you were having sex, then about a month ago he stops having sex with you, but he continued RECEIVING oral from you on a daily basis... but now he wants to end the ENTIRE physical part of your relationship...

    In the past month or two, what has changed in his life? His job, his associates... his hobbies?

    Did something change with you?
    Xrayman's Avatar
    Xrayman Posts: 1,177, Reputation: 193
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    #8

    May 10, 2009, 08:28 PM

    Okay, time to RUN! He can erect-therefore he has no problem he does not need viagra-he needs an attitude adjustment.

    Perhaps it's time to lose the loser-you get nothing out of this and he gets everything..

    Perhaps a ban on every thing sexual for HIM might be the way to FIX this, otherwise-move on.
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #9

    May 11, 2009, 06:12 AM

    I'd suggest that he perform oral on YOU every day, personally.
    88sunflower's Avatar
    88sunflower Posts: 1,207, Reputation: 462
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    #10

    May 11, 2009, 12:19 PM
    He can't get erect for sex but he can for oral? Interesting. I would say he is selfish. Especially after already having sex just fine for how long. I had a boyfriend the same way. Can't get erect for sex but will take oral everyday. Well for a long time I thought he was gay. He doesn't have ED if he can get erect for oral. Think about it.
    Catsmine's Avatar
    Catsmine Posts: 3,826, Reputation: 739
    Pest Control Expert
     
    #11

    May 11, 2009, 02:20 PM
    Please tell me you don't have kids. This character is using you. Get him gone!!
    Wow, self -restraint is hard. I didn't cuss once.
    Justwantfair's Avatar
    Justwantfair Posts: 3,422, Reputation: 944
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    #12

    May 11, 2009, 02:28 PM

    My man would prefer oral daily, but there is a reason that isn't going to happen!

    Sex is about connection of both individuals, what you have is a friends with benefits programs, only you aren't receiving any benefits. Next time he asks for oral, I would charge him $50.
    chrissymarie's Avatar
    chrissymarie Posts: 563, Reputation: 53
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    #13

    May 11, 2009, 03:30 PM

    I don't feel this has anything to do with the ED.. a are there some deeper problems in your marriage?

    ED is not selective... if he can get it up for oral he should be able to get it up for you too unless he's lazy and doesn't want to do any work or worry about pleasing you.

    Sounds like a very selfish man.

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