[terry884]

I am always trying to better my relationships and myself so while I was reflecting today I came up with this thought.
Relationships are like building a beautiful boat; while you are in them you are working at building a solid foundation that will stay afloat even in the storms of life. Many times we build a boat that wasn’t build right and we watch it sink as soon as it sets sail or our mate does not even want to get on the boat in the first place. I am writing this for those of you who have had a good relationship but that person has decided that they need space or time or both. Here is how I see the well know No-contact period and a way to possibly get a little relief or at least knowledge while you go on to heal.
During the break-up up your partner tells you that things are not right for them or they need space or what ever their reason is, honor that. Don’t beg them to stay, just say I totally understand, this is your time to go and figure out what you want. I love you and if I am available should you decided to return I would love to see you again if you have truly figured out that this relationship is what you want and you have solutions that can make this work.
So the time you were with them you were building this beautiful boat and you have put so much effort, time and love into it and now your mate wants to take it for a sail by themselves. Let them go! If you are still contacting them by texting, calling, e-mailing, talking to their friends, family or whoever it is like you are still holding onto a rope and not letting it sail. If you keep holding on your mate will just get off the boat and walk away and you will have built it for nothing. So just let it go, let your mate discover all the beautiful things you created for them out of love on the boat. The art that you picked out, the carvings that show your love and all the unique features that will make them remember and think of you. Don’t worry if they pick up a friend on the way as they will still be on the boat you built for the two of you and you will be on their mind as they think back and compare you to others. If you built a good boat while you were together with love, fun, joy and inner connection than it will stay afloat and sail back to you. If you did not than the boat will sink and you will learn to put more effort into your next relationship. This is your time to get strong and make the changes in your life that will let you jump on the boat when your mate returns or be ready to build a new boat with someone else. Relax as the work you do now prepares for either scenario, so just go inside and get over being controlling or needy and needing to hold onto the rope and all will work out. It is the effort you put into the building of the boat that will bring it back, not anything you can do now. So the lesson is when you are in a relationship, be the best partner you can be and even if after all of that they need to sail on their own, be at peace and know that you have an excellent change of them coming back as long as you let them sail and you work on you so when they return not only are they in a better place but you are their safe harbor to return to. Peace to all of you.

[buylill]

Love it
Props to you

[buylill]

Here's a question however,

What do you do when that person still wants to keep in touch and hence tries to contact you. It doesent mean their back from their voyage of sailing and want to go out with you again, so what is it and what do u do?

[none12345]

Awwww nice analogy. Yah there are a few unaswered questions if she get off your boat and get on someone else's will the boat just be left there for no purpose and a waste? If someone new comes into your life are you going to take them onto the same boat? Or would u want to make them a brand new one?

[Justwantfair]

Awwww nice analogy. Yah there are a few unaswered questions if she get off your boat and get on someone else's will the boat just be left there for no purpose and a waste? If someone new comes into your life are you gonna take them onto the same boat? or would u want to make them a brand new one?

You always build a new boat for a new relationship. Make sure that when you leave the old boat, you leave behind all of your luggage. Sometimes you even light that boat up in flames and watch it burn first.

[none12345]

Oh sounds like you've experienced it and it took a lot of experience to find out. I just got out of my first love and I'm not sure about stuff like this but I learned something here thanks~

[dealmein]

I broke up with my girl last night pretty much stole her boat crashed it into a couple of rocks and made it away on my own. I want to take time on my own be with other people without her which kills me but I can't hide it any longer right now in my head I just don't want this relationship anymore. It doesn't mean I don't love her she means the world to me. She's the first girl Ive ever been with sexually and emotionally and I'm just not ready to settle down "forever". I miss her already and its been one day it feels as if she's broke up with me rather than the other way about. My heads so screwed up I don't know whether I'm coming or going. Which is probably a good reason to split up in itself.

To me its taking time out for myself and I haven't told her we're going on a break or anything because she'd just be sitting there waiting for me to come back or hoping which as all of you know might never happen. I feek terrible for doing this I promised her so much. In my head I can see me coming back to her feeling stupid for even thinking about breaking it off but I've never had a "single life" and no matter how happy she makes me that's always playing on my mind. I feel very selfish I've tried breaking up before but always came back to her thinking to myself I'm being stupid but now I've done it and I just have to ride this out. Whatever happens happens right?

[LoveStoned]

heres a question however,

what do you do when that person still wants to keep in touch and hence tries to contact you. it doesn't mean their back from their voyage of sailing and want to go out with you again, so what is it and what do u do?

Yeah, I had this problem too. Untie that anchor and let them go for good. Every time it storms the ex can't come back to shore to use you for your shelter. Set them completely free (NC!! ). Let them venture and explore what's out their. Let them struggle to come back to you if they do decide to come back later later on down the road. (meaning when they come back don't easily accept them. Try to become a friend more than anything first) Maybe by then you will have realized that you deserve better.

[buylill]

Yeah, I had this problem too. Untie that ancor and let them go for good. Evertime it storms the ex can't come back to shore to use you for your shelter. Set em completely free (NC!!!). Let them venture and explore whats out their. Let them struggle to come back to you if they do decide to come back later later on down the road. (meaning when they come back don't easily accept them. Try to become a friend more than anything first) Maybe by then you will have realized that you deserve better.

Awesome, I feel lighter already.

[dealmein]

heres a question however,

what do you do when that person still wants to keep in touch and hence tries to contact you. it doesent mean their back from their voyage of sailing and want to go out with you again, so what is it and what do u do?

It might not mean they are totally back... they are thinking about you and that's a great sign. You are winning the battle of their heart that's what it means. Its not time to lay down your sword and accept their undevoted love for you. It's a step in the right direction though. Be strong in yourself confidence and don't EVER beg them to come back to you. For them to know you're not broken without them is the best course of action if you can manage it.

Breaking all ties completely and no contact is a bad sign because they were strong enough to break their feelings for you and move on. Keeping you in their lives means they care and if you are strong and determined in what you want you can use it to your advantage

[Romefalls19]

Great post!