[ginawright]

I was wondering what the difference between full custody and being the custodial parent is. Have talked to a few lawyers about it and there doesn't seem to be a big difference. I am wanting to gain full custody of my son because the father isn't involved in his life. It has been over a year since he has seen his son, the grandparents do come around and I have no problem with letting all of them see my son. I am just concerned on what rights exactly we both have or don't have. Nothing has been set up in court, we were never married but we did go to court for both child support and paternity.

[ScottGem]

Full Custody means you and only you have a say in how the child will be raised. The custodial parent is the one with whom the child spends most of the time.

I seriously doubt if you will get full custody as long as there is a child support agreement in place.

[sunnyMI]

Joint Legal Custody: Means that parents (both) will communicate and cooperate with one another and attempt to reach mutual decisions regarding major issues affecting their children. This decision making process includes, but is not limited to: major medical decisions, educational decisions, and religious upbringing, if any.

Joint Physical Custody: Means an order of the Court which states that children live with one parent part of the time and the other parent part of the time. This time does not have to be equal. The parent who has care of the children at any given time is responsible for routine decisions regarding the children.

Sole Physical Custody: Means that the children live with one parent and that parent is responsible for making major decisions regarding the children.

Custodial Parent: a parent who has physical custody of his or her child/ren; spends the majority of the time with this parent. Will be determined by the court.

As ScottGem said, it will be tough to get Full/Sole Physical Custody unless you can honestly prove the other parent unfit. A child/ren needs both parents!

[ginawright]

Just to clear things up... I am not trying to take my child away from his father in any way. I would love for him to step up to the plate and do so on his own, but that isn't the case. He hasn't even seen my son in over a year. I haven't had any way to get in touch with him until he filled a motion to lower his child support and receive rights to claim my son on taxes every other year. My fiancé has been in my sons life since he was one and after some time has begun to call him daddy. I still tell my son that he has two daddy's and he calls them daddy "name" or daddy "name". But despite our best efforts my ex doesn't show any interest in him. His parents spend time with him and there is open communication there. No hard feelings are in place on either side. So I don't want people to think that I am being mean and trying to keep him away, cause I am not. Even if custody is set up I have already told my exes parents that they will still have time with my son whenever they want, along with my ex. I am not trying to make the decision for my child, I think that once he is old enough he will make that choice on his own, it's his decision. However my ex does have some issues that I am concerned with including alcohol and some minor abuse to myself. I don't feel that he is a danger to my child, but what parent wouldn't want to protect their child in any way possible if these conditions would come up again. This is why we split up and I do not wish my child to witness or become a part of it. But like I said before, haven't had any contact with him in over a year and I am unaware of his condition any longer. This happened over four years ago and all I know now is what his friends tell me so... I am just taking any precaution that I can to ensure my child's well being.

[mariposa11]

Without a court order, reached either by consent between you and the father or as a judgment in court, you have no more legal right to your son or time with him than his dad. In some cases this means little, but in others it can become devastating when years down the road a custody battle ensues. I suggest you have a lawyer draw up some papers that your ex would sign. You can only obtain sole legal custody of a child if : the other parent consents to it, the other parent is determined to be a danger to the child, or you and the father can not come to reasonable terms on any major decisions and you are the primary caregiver. Without his consent, sole legal custody is difficult to obtain. Physical custody is entirely different. Sole physical custody means that even when dad has the child, you are in control of the child entirely. The child always sleeps at your home. Sole custody is rarely awarded. Primary physical custody means you have the child the majority of the time, but when dad has him, dad has the right and responsibility of making daily decisions regarding the child. Shared physical custody means you both have equal time with the child, and equal say in all day to day decisions. Your best option is to seek primary physical custody, and if your ex is willing, full legal custody. Be sure to address possible visitation times as they may apply in the future, and be careful to consider school and holidays for the child. Nothing is worse than paying a fortune to get an order than having to go back and do it again later.