[framergirl]

One of my best friends has an ex girlfriend who is 3 years older than him (she is 24, he was 20 when this all happened, and just turned 21) and who is pregnant and from what I have been told, mentally unstable. He said okay, eventually after begging her to abort, since he is mentally not able to handle a child as he is still mourning over the loss of his mother, and that he will be there for his child but that he wants nothing to do with her since she is pretty nuts.

... she text messages him 400 times a day (literally), as been put away in a psych unit several times this year, calls his house at 4am at least 10 times and well lets just say she has gone past harassment... this was BEFORE she told him and before she was pregnant and he had broken up with her. After she told him and she said he wanted nothing to with her, only his child, and that he did not want to be with her, as he is back with his girlfriend from before (who is stable and loves him even though he did cheat on her with this ex that is pregnant) the ex began sending out private pictures that he gave him in confidence to girls he barley knows and has threatened to post the pictures on a Gay website and make him a profile posting all of his contact information. His ex has stalked him until he got back with her, then told did "oops I forgot to take my pills this week" after the fact, trapped him pretty much, and then when he left her she began with all the slander. He left her several times and had to tell her he would be with her just to get her off his back and to leave his current girlfriend alone, as she was messaging her all sorts of threats and insults (his current girlfriend has known him for 10 years mind you, and they were high school sweet hearts together all the time except for when he cheated on her and she left... the ex has known him only for 9 months). His ex has even gone to callign his step father and harasses him about where his step-son is and who he is with. All this and she lives in another state. Pretty much she has been destroying his life, both social and educational, ever since he tried to get away from her in March. He can't even sleep at night because she is constantly calling and texting him and if he turns off his cell phone and logs off AIM, she calls the house. All she says is "I wont stop until you are with me and leave her", and when he says no she calls him a sleeze and a liar... always bringing up his mother in hateful ways. He is def oe of those genuinely nice guys, who has never hurt anyone on purpose, trying to get his band off the ground, while workign and going to school full time so he can get away from his stepfather. He is now 21 and to put it bluntly, I have never seen him so scared of anyone as much as he is now. He is lost for words with the things she is doing to him. His girlfriend said she will no leave him and I know I will be there for him, but it is getting scary to the point that she might have had him shot or something if he didn't tell her he would be with her... even though he is not.

This is a lot of mostly drama but a lot of the drama has seriously hurt his reputation especially at school and starting at his professional life as well. He has completely changed his appearance and had to delete Facebook profiles several times so she couldn't get to his friends to send them horrible lies about him. But to the point now...


He wants to take some serious action, but she is no allowing him a DNA test (he is asking for one because now she is saying that the child isn't his, then says it is, then says it is, so on and so on). If it is proved she is his child, he wants to try to get full custody of his daughter as he feels she will not be safe with the mother. The child is due around March or so, and he feels very strong about getting his daughter from his ex. With everything that this girl has done to him in the past 9 months, is it possible for him to get full custody?

[George_1950]

His rights will depend upon the state he lives in. In some states the action he needs to file is called a petition to legitimate child, or petition to establish paternity. If his paternity is established the court will determine custody, visitation, child support, etc. He will need a competent family lawyer to get custody of the baby, and should probably start on that right away.