[shanda39]

I love my husband but have feelings for a woman. Is that bad?

[Fr_Chuck]

Well are you a man or a women?

The key term here is "married" it is normal to have desires or feelings sometimes for another man or women. ** also it may be a sign, things need work at home with husband.

If you are a women, it may mean you are bi sexual, and can also like women. But just like you would not have an affair with a man, you do not have affairs with anyone.

I will follow up with the "or" you discuss this with your husband, I know many couples who are married, and the wife has a girlfriend. The husband accepts it. Also some couples who even have a open relationship. Have a new friend, who lives with her one boyfriend, but has another boyfriend and a girlfriend.

But in all relationships, you need to be honest to the other people.

[talaniman]

Is that bad?

Its not a bad thing unless you act on them behind your partners back. You may not be able to control the feelings you have, but you can control what you do about them.

[CravenMorhead]

It isn't bad. You have feelings, they're neither good nor bad but they're yours and you need to accept them. What is good or but is your actions resulting from the feelings.

You could be finding out your bi-sexual side which is a good thing. Often your particular sexual profile doesn't come into complete clarity until later in life, if at all. What you do from here will decide how good or bad this is.

First things first, you're married. That usually comes with a promise of monogamy. This is usually stated and implied as unbreachable in married life. The other thing to realize is that marriage is an agreement and relationship between you and your significant other. The terms of it are decided by you and your husband through open and honest communication. A lot of this is assumed or taught by your culture or faith. You don't have to adhere to these but if you want to change the rules in your relationship the change needs to be mutual. You can't bully your husband into anything. You need to talk to him about this. The important thing to remember is that this shouldn't replace any intimacy that comes between you and him. You have made promises to that.

Secondly you might want to test to see if the love you're see is requited. It is a non-starter if she's not feeling the same way as you are.

The main point here is to talk to your husband about this. Open and honest communication. You might be surprised what could come out of this. The worst thing you can do is all this behind his back. That would be the worst ever. It would doom the relationship and probably end up in a divorce.

Good luck.

[Catsmine]

Every answer you have gotten and are likely to get stresses "open and honest communication." That's really what relationships are about. Everything else is window dressing. Religion and Society and the Media and your Friends and your Family do not matter. You married him, not any of those others.

Is it "bad" to have feelings for other people? What do you AND your husband think? My opinion is really beside the point.