[ScottGem]

The three way was her idea not his. Stick to computers.

No where did you indicate that. And the implication of her not liking was such that it wasn't her idea.

As for my sticking to computers, I stand by my response. Even if was her idea, it doesn't affect your reaction to it. In fact, that comment just reinforces what I said.

[Actual64]

Does anyone know of a legitimate erotic (straight) but educational source for videos? I purchased one and it turned out to be a hour long product pitch. Thanks.

I am dating a girl that is not using birth control and the condom is really taking a lot away from my experience. She is not crazy about the pill as she is 45, has slightly high blood pressure, and smokes. I think that puts you at some risk for some type of medical problem. Can anyone suggest an alternative? Thanks

[talaniman]

An alternative to what birth control, or medical problems? Yes your threads have been merged because background and pertinent information is important.

As to educational adult sex videos, that's porn, and comes in gay, straight, bi, or any other tastes you can think of. You both should browse and pick one.

[Mom4life]

Did you read my post? She volunteered that! If your past does not matter would you date someone that had molested a child? If we use your logic that would be in the past and not matter right?

You are contradicting yourself. In your post you said you jokingly hinted to it, so obviously you had mentioned it to her. I bet her volunteering is to let you know she's not interested in doing it. I think she was making sure you "never jokingly" hint to it again by explaining she did it with her ex husband and is not interested in doing it again. Now you are pist off so much so you are starting to judge her based on her past, come on grow up. Had she said yes mr perfect I will have a 3 way with you, you would have been in heaven, then your issue or question would be. How do I regain respect for my girlfriend, her and I had a 3 way and now I can't respect her? She should dump you and find better.

[JudyKayTee]

It's called snipping - for either party.

And, yes, videos come in every possible combination, so to speak.

[Actual64]

It's called snipping - for either party.

And, yes, videos come in every possible combination, so to speak.

What's snipping?

[talaniman]

Give the guy a break. He has expressed his disappointment and is getting over it to the point of still being there. But I have to point out that focusing on educating a 40 year old, experienced female about sex, may not be the way to build a solid relationship. You give the impression that your sexual needs are your priority in which she has to concede to them.

I think you do much better listening to her priorities, and then she may listen to yours. Find ways to express yourself that she can understand, and NOT force her to see your side. It's a balance that builds in establishing communications in an honest way which is crucial to resolutions.

[Actual64]

Thank you for your very constructive advice

[Fr_Chuck]

The pill and other forms of birth control have side effects and many people rely on condoms, And yes some men find they lesson the pleasure, but honestly, not that much, and better than no pleasure.

My concern would be the 3 to 18 percent failure rate ofr condoms, The planned parenthood web site has tons of great information on birth control, and different methods,

[Actual64]

Give the guy a break. He has expressed his disappointment and is getting over it to the point of still being there. But I have to point out that focusing on educating a 40 year old, experienced female about sex, may not be the way to build a solid relationship. You give the impression that your sexual needs are your priority in which she has to concede to them.

I think you do much better listening to her priorities, and then she may listen to yours. Find ways to express yourself that she can understand, and NOT force her to see your side. Its a balance that builds in establishing communications in an honest way which is crucial to resolutions.

The education part would have been for both of us. In particular making sure I was doing my part. I never said I planned on teaching her anything. I would have liked to help her get more comfortable with herself. However, that's all irelevant now. I am still looking for som e educational resoyrces.

[Cat1864]

The education part would have been for both of us. In particular making sure I was doing my part. I never said I planned on teaching her anything. I would have liked to help her get more comfortable with herself. However, that's all irelevant now. I am still looking for som e educational resoyrces.

To know if you are doing 'your part', communicate with your partner. There is not a video or book out there that can instruct you on how to have great sex with your partner because we (male and female) are all individuals and what one likes another may not.

Sex is not about doing this or that. There is no set of instructions to follow. It is about exploring each others minds and bodies. It is about a journey of discovery and having fun.

There is one main thing you can do. Remember that for females arousal begins long before we get close to actually having sex. Romantic gestures such as looks, caresses, teasing kisses, etc. are ways of getting our minds focused on pleasure. Generally, when the mind is aroused, the body follows.

[talaniman]

Dude don't educate her to be comfortable with herself, relate to her through communications and interactions to be comfortable with YOU. Pay attention and be a good listeners will make her thoughts, needs, and wants clear to you a lot faster, and if browsing for adult instructional sex videos or material is part of that, then go for it together but most adults would resent, or reject any such education as being presumptive that's what she needs.

Better you find out what she wants before you spoil the fun of exploring and experimenting of what should be a great time between you before you take such a clinical approach to educate her, or you.

You cannot treat a 40 year old experienced divorced female like a 20 year old virgin, that you have to teach. At least ask her to watch "sex" videos with you.

[Homegirl 50]

You need to deal with the birth control issue as well and probably first. What indication do you have that she is uncomfortable about sex or herself? Maybe it was the fit you had about the threesome. Do you want her to be comfortable or do you want her to eventually want to do what you want?
You need to talk about what you both desire before you start watching films or asking her to watch them.

[jewels7]

I think anyone who has threesomes has the ability to cheat.. I would leave it alone.. if you are hurt now.. imagine what else could happen. Find someone that will be happy with you and only you.

[Oliver2011]

Me thinks the boat was missed on that one.

[odinn7]

Me thinks the boat was missed on that one.

No doubt about it.

[jewels7]

The right one always comes around when you least suspect it to happen..
What normally happens, you'll be in a happy relationship and before you
Know it.. here comes someone else and then someone else.. why does it happen like this.. like where were these people when you were single..
It's because when your happy and content, you give off good vibes and it
Attracts the opposite sex.. really it does, so when it happens, you'll think back to this message.. Life is short, enjoy yourself, find a hobby, find a job that can pay the bills, but something you enjoy doing.. get together with good friends, when
You get busy the right one will be standing across from you :)
I have learned not to waste my time on people that are not about me.. don't stay in a bad or troubled relationship, it's just a waste and each bad relationship, changes you, and most times, not in a good way.. been there done that...

[Actual64]

Yes, you do have low self esteem if you can't handle her past. What happens in the past stays in the past.

BTW, I've been in a happy healthy marriage for 20 years now. What he did with his ex wife is none of my business.

So I asked her is your number over or under 25? As I had gotten the impression she had been around. She gave me some type of answer that was not yes or not no. Then I said well okay is your number over or under 100? She didn't answer that either. That's a lot of dudes. Internet dating is just awful.

[J_9]

Her "number" is none of your business.

[JudyKayTee]

Unless you give and evaluate surveys for a living I'm not understanding the question.

Good luck if you're looking for a virgin. I think I saw one... once.

And your number?